Wherefore art thou, Lemon Jolly Rancher?

matthew's picture

My wife recently went out and bought a great, big bag of Jolly Ranchers from the store to use as "potty treats" while we are training our two-year-old in how to use the restroom. Of course, being who I am, I had to raid the bag a bit. I tried the cherry, which was OK, the watermelon, which was as good as always, and then started digging around for the lemon ones.

You see, when I was a kid, one of my favorite candies were lemon Jolly Ranchers. I'd tuck them way in the back corners of my mouth and they'd make my jaw ache, they were so sour. But I'd eat them until I got canker sores, because I liked 'em so much.

But alas... digging through a 5 lb bag of Jolly Ranchers... There are no Lemon Jolly Ranchers anymore!

The pain! The horror! In haste, I checked the Hershey's web site:

http://www.hersheys.com/jollyrancher/hard_candies.asp

ERASED FROM HISTORY! An entire chapter of my youth, gone. My kids will have a hard time believing such a delicious, jaw-lock-inducing treat ever existed now. Lemon Jolly Ranchers are no more, and aren't even given the decency of being included as part of the "Original Assortment". The Original Assortment was five flavors, NOT FOUR!

To even get close to it, now I have to buy the "Tropical Assortment" and make do with "Lemon-Lime".

You know, if I'm gonna enjoy a candy once every decade or so, I'd like for it not to change, plzthxu.

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Timpane's picture

Stab you in the JAW

I disagree with Dane Cook's assessment of his fave Jolly Rancher, so I will apply his reasoning to my particular favorite.

"If anyone says that CHERRY jolly ranchers aren't the ONLY good flavor of Jolly rancher, i will stab you in the Jaw. Find me in the lobby after the show, I'll be the one stabbing jaws."

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Lemon Jolly Rancher

I emailed the hersheys company last week and they confirmed my suspisions:

Thank you for contacting The Hershey Company. Your comments about JOLLY RANCHER hard candy are important.

We are sorry to disappoint you, but JOLLY RANCHER hard candy in the lemon flavor is currently not available. This product is not being produced for nationwide retail distribution at this time and we are unable to provide you with details as to when and where you might be able to obtain this product. We apologize for any inconvenience and assure you that your comments will be shared with our Marketing Department.

Your interest in our company is appreciated.

This email address is restricted for outgoing messages only. For that reason, please do not respond to this email as the inbox is not monitored.

Jean Saldutti
Consumer Representative

005038582A

Are you serious?

Hard candy as a treat for a 2-year-old? You must be on crack or something!! LOL

matthew's picture

Why not?

Why not? Do you have some specific complaint other than that you are an overprotective, urban-legend-worshipping ignoramus?

Last year, exactly 20 children under the age of 14 in the entire USA died from choking on a hard candy. That places it really, really low on the "death risk scale": right around the same level as standing outside doing nothing, and a little less risky than eating vegetables.

--
Matthew P. Barnson

--
Matthew P. Barnson

Viva Lemon

I also emailed Hershey's recently, but this time it was to beg them to keep the Soda Flavors around. I don't know how many people tried and liked them, but the Lemon-lime Soda flavor is pretty good and if you like cola candy, the Cherry Cola flavor is awesome too. The Lemonade Launch flavor in the Summer Fusion bag (only 3 flavors so you get a good-sized amount of Lemonade) is pretty good as well. It's almost as sour as the original Lemon, but comes in a disturbing, mystery flavor-esque opaque white color.


Hopefully, Hershey will recognize us Lemon fans more than just a small and sour bunch and give us our 'Original' flavor back.

lemon jollys

Hard Candy for Toddlers

Exactly what I was thinking! There are some really stupid parents out there, and so what if "only" 20 kids choked to death on hard candy---- that is 20 kids TOO MANY! If parents weren't so dumb their children would still be alive!

matthew's picture

This is stupid

There are some really stupid parents out there...so what if "only" 20 kids choked to death on hard candy---- that is 20 kids TOO MANY!

Yeah. Anybody who disagrees with you is "stupid". We all agree there are stupid parents out there... is one who knowingly manages risk in their child's life, with an awareness of the consequences and an attempt to keep it to moderate levels, "stupid"?

Handling deaths from accidents is a management issue, not an engineering problem you can "solve". More kids choke to death on vegetables every year than choke to death on hard candy. What are you proposing... that parents should not feed their kids vegetables?

The fact is, when you're a parent, you make a lot of tough choices. If you're going to raise healthy, well-adjusted children, some of these choices involve exposing your kids to risk. In fact, knowing that pain is the best teacher, when you've told your kids the right way to do something to avoid injury and they insist on doing it the wrong way, you often hope they get hurt doing it!

You don't want them to die, of course, but you do want them to learn that actions have consequences. You shield them from the most lethal possibilities, and get them to recognize that the commands come, go, sit, no, and stay must always be obeyed instantly, because those are the "life-saving" commands which can prevent fatality in some otherwise dangerous circumstances.

On a risk scale, it's riskier allowing my child to play outdoors, fully supervised by me, than it is to give them a hard candy.

My kids can have hard candy. And I'll also keep feeding them broccoli, despite the fact that it's grossly riskier behavior.

You manage risk. You don't eliminate it. If you try to reduce fatality to zero for a particular risk category, you usually end up taking away a lot more than you get out of the deal.

--
Matthew P. Barnson

--
Matthew P. Barnson

If you notice,the Smirknoff

If you notice,the Smirknoff flavors kinda tase like liquid Jolly Rancher,and i though watermelon was the best.But in Jolly Ranchers,I've always liked the green apple ones.Green apple,Lemon,and Grape were my definet flavors of choice.I can't believe they stop production of the lemon flavor!How dare they!But...there not much use in begging them to bring it back,companys never really do that unless demand is VERY VERY high.oh well....

lemon jolly ranchers by the pound?

Haven't ordered yet, but this website (http://www.hometowncandy.com/jolly-ranchers.htm) supposedly lets you order 'em by the pound.

Whoo hoo! Hope it works.

hometowncandy.com

I'm curious as to whether you ever ordered from this "company". My wife placed an order with them before Xmas. The CC was charged immediately, but several weeks later (and Xmas come and gone) no goods have arrived.

A google of "hometowncandy.com complaints" reveals an apparent Standard Operating Procedure of taking money and providing nothing in return, along with being [mostly] non-responsive to BBB complaints. The BBB gives them an "unsatisfactory" rating.

If anyone has ever actually received product from them, I would like to know.

tawnylyra's picture

! Glad I'm not crazy

This blog entry is almost a year old and I have no idea if you - whoever you are - still use it but I'm commenting on it anyways.

I just had to say I'm glad I'm not losing my mind. I noticed lemon disappeared a few years back and today was trying to tell somebody about it and they were looking at me like I was crazy! She said she "doesn't remember" there ever even BEING a lemon which is what made me start shouting about the conspiracy of its removal in the middle of Safeway. One too many X-Files has me convinced everything is a conspiracy according to her!

Anyways, I have proof, I have one remaining lemon jolly rancher sitting in a drawer in my room, but I can't bring myself to eat it, it's just too depressing.

What makes it worse is one of the "all time favorite" candy flavors these days seems to be BLUE RASPBERRY, which I HATE. I don't care if its Jolly Ranchers, Laffy Taffy, Sour Punch Straws, Poprocks, Airheads, or Zours, I hate that flavor, its horrible. I always had no problem getting rid of them when I had to get a variety pack of something, because EVERYBODY loves that stupid gross flavor.

So not only did Jolly Rancher ERASE my all time favorite flavor that I've been eating since I was a kid - without warning! - but they've replaced lemon with none other than that horrible BLUE RASPBERRY! And to top it off, it says right on all those bags "ORIGINAL FLAVORS"

Original flavors my ass! What a bunch of liars. Unfortunately I still very much like green apple and watermelon so I do still buy the bags of them, but even though its been many many moons since they took away my lemon . . . I still think about it.

Anyways. I finally decided to google "lemon jolly rancher" and this blog entry came up and I had to comment!

I set up an account on here but . . . I'm not really sure I know what this site even is! Looks like a blog, I'm not that blog-savvy. I just wanted to post a comment.

LONG LIVE LEMON JOLLY RANCHERS! YOU SHALL RETURN ONE DAY! :o)

Sammy G's picture

Funny bigtime

Tawnylyra, that entry is hilarious. Long live the power of the internet to give people like you a place to express your feelings.

matthew's picture

Nomination...

I nominate Tawnylyra's entry as one of the best comments of all time. Any seconds?

--
Matthew P. Barnson

--
Matthew P. Barnson

JB's picture

Second

I'll Second...

tawnylyra's picture

:o)

Glad you like my mini tirade against the candy conspiracy lurking within the hard candy community. As I'm sure you all noticed i even took a sad little photo of my solitary lemon Jolly Rancher.

I forgot to put in that comment that ever since they replaced lemon with blue raspberry (not even a real thing! it's the uber-mutant of the candy world!) that I've started saving all my blue raspberry Jolly Ranchers.

I've now got boxes upon boxes of them (I really like my Jolly Ranchers, ok!) and when I showed them to a friend of mine she said I should mail them to the Jolly Rancher . . . headquarters or wherever. I personally find this idea amusing, but I think it would be even better if I just mailed them all individually.

Even though that would take about 10,000 stamps and envelopes, still, I think I'd get my point across.

Anyways. So, is this like a blog community? Can I post my own journals/blogs or can I just comment on yours? I was trying to figure it out but . . . well, I obviously didn't. I'm too busy plotting my revenge against multiple factions of the junk food industry (including not only Jolly Ranchers but also Doritos, Hostess, and Hickory Farms beef jerky!).

matthew's picture

A different sort of blog...

We're a different sort of blog community. I run the server and am the de-facto petty dictator around here.

We operate on a "friend of a friend" basis. Those people who can blog are those whom I either know personally, or who someone on here recommends. It's a family-oriented site, and a lot of us have known one another since grade school.

If you wanted to be able to post your own blogs, just hang around and post enough comments to things over the course of a few weeks, and I'd promote you once I realized you "got it" and weren't going to do something weird like starting to post links to your porn collection, advertise for viagra, or use a ton of curse words in your posts.

But realistically, I think you'd be best served by starting a blog on blogger.com if you want to blog about your experiences. Fire me a private message with the link to your blogger, and I'll gladly add a fellow Lemon-Jolly-Rancher-Sympathizer to the "blogroll" of links under "Friends' Blogs" to the right.

Let me know if I adequately answered your question.

--
Matthew P. Barnson

--
Matthew P. Barnson

tawnylyra's picture

Re

Ok, I’m relatively new to this whole “blogging” world so I’ll check out blogger.com. I have been keeping semi regular journalish entries on another site but that’s not its main purpose and I wanted to start one somewhere that was meant for just that (journaling), you know?

Once I get one set up and transfer all my previous journal entries – hopefully I can do that – then I’ll send you a link.

I totally get what you mean about not wanting me to be some weirdo spammer who’ll suddenly start posting a trillion messages about free ringtones and/or other sort of advertisements. Unfortunately they are all over the place now.

But you should totally take a look at this link (lol, right after I talk about spam, but really it's not that!); after I found your blog and got all fired up again about Lemon Jolly Rancher I posted a ranting blog about my anger about it and my strong dislike for “blue raspberry” flavors and one of my friends sent me this link which I find highly amusing. So it’s not just me!

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sdo/301953698.html

It’s now official; I’m now boycotting blue raspberry jolly ranchers!!!!!!!

Anyways. Hope you have a good day!

Timpane's picture

I like her so far..

She seems to get the flavor of the site. She's not an any crusades is she?

Visit the Official Justin Timpane Website
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i hope it isn't creepy that

i hope it isn't creepy that i don't know you and i'm commenting on your blog... but, i feel your pain! lemon jolly ranchers are basically my favorite candy of all time. and they're gone :( the new blue rasberry ones are good, but just not the same.

i was actually serching for them online to see if there were any candy stores that managed to save a few so i could buy a bag and google brought me here. couldn't help commenting. glad i'm not alone!

Timpane's picture

Creeped out.

But mostly because no one feels the Cherry JR love!
Seriously.. we like new people!

Visit the Official Justin Timpane Website
Music, Acting, and More!
www.timpane.com

NVZ: NINJAS VS ZOMBIES - THE MOVIE - www.nvzmovie.com
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Lemon Jolly Ranchers

I agree totally! They were my favorites. I know of people who do not even believe me that the lemon ones actually existed. My second favorites were the pink lemonade Jolly Rancher sticks. One of my friends just gave me a pink lomonade Jolly Rancher lolly pop. I think they still make the pink lomonade sticks and I might have to search for some..

matthew's picture

So good they lock up your jaw

Ahh, I may have to search out the pink lemonade Jolly Ranchers. I have yet to be able to find any candy which causes such an excruciating jaw-locking sensation while tasting so good!

--
Matthew P. Barnson

--
Matthew P. Barnson

Hometowncandy.vom

I just looked at that website. I wouldn't get too excited about them. Even if they did send you what you paid for, their prices aren't too good. Jolly Ranchers for $4 a pound? You can get 5 lbs for $9-something at Sam's Club.

Hmm

When you look at the big picture though, kids should be eating way more vegetables then hard candies anyway. Freak accidents can happen, but thats no reason to invite them to, but you shouldn't keep your child in a cage either.

matthew's picture

Can't say I disagree...

I can't say I disagree with your comment, except that I avoid relying on freak accidents as part of my risk-management strategy...

--
Matthew P. Barnson

--
Matthew P. Barnson

yellow ones

I also terribly miss the lemon jolly ranchers and can relate to almost all of you in some way. i found this site becausei was searching for lemon ones. except i hate the watermelon and ive been saving those for years the same way. u mentioned conspiracies and doritos. where in the world did the doritos 3D's go. werent they good. and wouldnt life be better if companys kept the products out that they released. Anyway, my candy fantsay would be a room filled to the top with lemon jolly rancher sticks, cause i like that they are thin and eventually bend.

sorting

PS ... does anyone else buy a bag of jolly ranchers and dump them out immeadiately and start sorting them out. i do it to get rid of the watermelons and blue rasberrys, but most of the time i end up eating the blue whatevers when im completely out. another good candy pixie sticks. and i open those bags and throw every blue one out too. it jsut not right. anyone like Cry Babies, or pixie sticks causei got some gripes with those too

Timpane's picture

your funny.

im always throwing out blue rasberrys and watermelon jolly ranchers. your right about the sticks, though. theyre nowhere to be found. i like cherry best and used to get cherry sticks at 711 but theyre not there anymore.

Visit the Official Justin Timpane Website
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www.timpane.com

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lemon

you do know that they have lemon-lime in tropical packs right? they arent as good as lemon though

Jolly Ranchers...soda flavors

tell me about it in the 80's they had soda flavors too that was awsome and less calories then a soda.....sad and wishing that the original owners of the company would have sold Hersheys the secret to make them now....

soda flavors

hey how do you get soda flavors.... I miss them

where are my lemon jolly ranchers.

You [frickin'] suck.

EDIT by matthew: About the only place we allow f-bombs on this site is in poetry written by Weed. Perhaps if you made this into a Haiku?

Lemon Jolly Ranchers

So I sit here 6 months pregnant and like most of you I want really want a Lemon Jolly Rancher and I have noticed that the bags only have those funky blue ones in them so I google Lemon Jolly Rancher and this caomes up as the number one thing. I am sure glad that I am not the only person who misses these. I was going to make my husband go find some for me but after reading this I thought it would be kinda mean to make him try and find something that they do not make anymore :)

matthew's picture

Cherry

Cherry in right cheek,
Lemon in left. This is the
best sore jaw ever.

My first Jolly Rancher haiku ever!

--
Matthew P. Barnson

--
Matthew P. Barnson

matthew's picture

Anonymous...

Unfortunately, Anonymous didn't deliver his haiku, so I did.

--
Matthew P. Barnson

--
Matthew P. Barnson

i found a old orange one it

i found a old orange one it is the best thing i have ever tasted

If I'm not mistaken

I'm pretty sure if I'm not mistaken, there were Peach, Strawberry, and Orange flaroved ones when I was a kid too. The Peach ones were almost as good as Watermelon. (Which no flavor will beat)

revise

Also there were Raspberry ones before Blue Raspberry mistakenly replaced Lemon

Drats

I just spent all day driving around for something that dos'nt exist? That really blows, thanks for nothing not so jolly rancher and the blue ones are only good in a sling shot.

Oh the Humanity

Man, I feel your pain. I loved the lemon rancher. Another favorite of mine was definitely peach.

You know what was terrific was doubling a lemon and a cherry together. Too bad though, it appears as though those days are gone for good. It sucks too, because blue rasberry just aint cuttin' it. Sure, the blue razz had a good go of it back in the early 90's.. we used to trade flavors of Now 'n Later or Blowpops, and Blue rasberry could definitely score you an extra chocolate milk, whereas apple or watermelon wouldn't, but hey... this is the new millenium. Old is new, new is old...

I should give some "mad props" to grape too. I know it's not a favorite by too many, but it's pretty good. You gotta give it 45 seconds to a minute to smooth out, then the flavor takes over. Grape used to go with lemon too. Kool-Aid had a lemon/grape flavor, that's where I got the idea, and I liked it.

I wouldn't know where to begin with a protest, but now that I'm hot in the head about it... I'm going to start looking! I want my lemon! I want my peach! If you're not going to make them, give me the recipe.. I'll make them myself!

Peach

I found peach and rasberry lemonade, peach is in the passion mix bag and strawberry lemaonade in the wild berry fruit bag. It's as close as you get. They make all these new flavors, just go old school.

Passion mix

You can find orange and peach along with fruit punch, strawberry, and rasberry in the passion fruit bag. I'm on a quest to find pink lemonade, that was good.

Wanted to share a peom that I had to do for school about JR

Hello,
I am a 6th grader at St. John the Baptist School in Peabody, MA I had to write a rhyming poem about a Watermelon Jolly Rancher. Just wanted to share it with you for a chuckle.

D. T. April 14, 2008

Here is my Banter for my
Sweet, neat Jolly Rancher!

Oh Jolly! Oh Jolly
I shall call you Molly!

Or Helen
Because you are Watermelon!

I like the way your wrapper crinkles
And how I see you twinkle

So you are pink,
Why do you shrink?

You’re cylinder shape
Is like that of a large grape

You can make any trucker
pucker because you’ve got tang
with a bang!

You’re juicy just like you’re friend
Jolly Rancher Lemon Lucy!

My tummy is happy that you are hard,
And not lard!

My tummy is no dummy it
thinks your yummy!

You are sweet, when I eat you
Discreet and neat!

I savor your flavor and you’re smoothness
brings me calmness.

I do not repel your smell as
You are not a gazelle!

Golly my Jolly when we meet
I am complete!

Timpane's picture

Dude..

You're in a site full of Lyricists.. and you may have written one of the best songs ever.

Well done.

Visit the Official Justin Timpane Website
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matthew's picture

Music of the mouth

I am hearing this poem sung to "Music of the Night" from Phantom of the Opera in my head right now.

--
Matthew P. Barnson

--
Matthew P. Barnson

THANKS

Hi,
Thanks for the comment, on my poem, I got an A. I am starting to play in my own band TMRW. I play the drums/sax/piano. I'll be performing at the Boston Hard Rock Cafe in about 16 weeks. Your site is cool. Great work.
DT

RE

Very nice poem I thought it was creative and fun, one thing i must say about blue raspberry jolly ranchers (in my mouth right now) is that they did not replace lemon. I remember clearly having lemon and blue raspberry Jolly Ranchers in the same bag, and i should know because they are my favorite candy and one of the only things i can have when on my tube feeding (through nose) every summer. Just letting you know so the hate for Blue Raspberry dies down. I think that blue is an amazing colour and if you haven't tried a blue raspberry yet don't be a wimp and try the darn thing.

I too love the lemon and

I too love the lemon and cherry flavors the best. I have bigger problems as of now though. I am pregnant and haven't been craving much until I started to want a lemon jolly rancher. I started to search for them at the store only to discover today during an online search something that I didn't want to be true. The lemon flavor is gone. I bought lollipops during valentines day that were apple, watermellon and cherry so, I know the cherry flavor is still out there sometimes. But, in the "original bag" even the cherry ones don't exist. Very disappointed in Hershey. They used to be someone that I would trust to make candy but, it seems things are going down hill quick for them. I think that they aren't even making candy in PA anymore. So, don't be surprised if many other candy's that they are responsible for start to change.

I guess I will have to settle for a lemon head to get somewhat of a lemon fix. Maybe one day Jolly Ranchers will be like I remember them.

Hey man I feel your pain!! I

Hey man I feel your pain!! I want Lemon Jolly Ranchers back!! They were amazing, and just to clerify what they like to call "The Original Assortment" still has five flavors, they just replaced lemon with nasty blue rasberry, which is completley unoriginal, but hey what can we do?