Month: January 2004

I’m taking barnson.org down for an upgrade later today. So you may not be able to get to it for a while. You will get an error message basically saying what this says: “Sorry, not available due to an upgrade, I’ll be done when I’m done”.

See you on the other side.

I had three distinct things happen to me this week.

One: There was a post on Barnson.org asking me my favorite Cartoon. Two: My wife and I discussed the concept of leaving a Legacy after you die. Three: I organized my comic books.

The first thing brought me back to Spider Man and His Amazing Friends, which featured the X-MEN back in 1981. The third thing made me go through my old Uncanny XMEN issues that were around when I was a toddler, and one or two from before I was born… which brings me to the second one.

It occurred to me that Cyclops and company were around before I was born, and would be after I was dead, and they would be, for the most part, unchanged. (A character named Kitty was 13 in 1979, she’s 19 today.) It is a stark reminder of how life moves on.

My wife and I discussed what (being that we have no children yet, and won’t for at least a few years) we would leave behind for future generations. Now, she had her thoughts (which are hers, so forgive me if I don’t post without her permission) and I had mine..

I have often written and recorded music with the idea that someday a descendent of mine would listen, read lyrics and stories, and see pictures I drew, and get a feel for who I was. Its macabre, but I often think of the world after my death when I write and record.. like Michael Keaton in “My Life”.. I hope someday, someone will listen or read and know more about me than a faded photo or a list of dates.

My grandmother does geneaology.. and she would say the legacies left behind are the people that exist with you as an ancestor, but I would give a lot to read a letter or hear the voice of that person from the past, instead of just knowing their name.

My late great-uncle Matt made a sculpture that I love, because I can see the lines he carved, and be there with him in that moment, imagining his hands carving those lines.

I wonder what of mine people will do the same with, as they reread their old X-Men back issues… I wonder if anyone but me even thinks about these things.

I hope so.

I went digging tonight for some sound samples for a project I’m working on. The one I was particularly looking for was the introduction to “Gyruss”. I wanted to use it to segue into the development portion of the piece. I found what I was looking for, and then some. Ye flipping gods, that’s an excellent archive. I could lose a week in there. Well, at least several hours.

I was cruising Paul Murphy’s site tonight, even briefly considering clicking the Paypal link to send Anna some birthday money (Hah! Hah! Laughed at myself for that thought, I’m pretty broke at the moment), when I noticed an extremely long quote in Paul’s nifty “Random Quote” block:

“In science it often happens that scientists say, ‘You know that’s a really good argument; my position is mistaken,’ and then they actually change their minds and you never hear that old view from them again. They really do it. It doesn’t happen as often as it should, because scientists are human and change is sometimes painful. But it happens every day. I cannot recall the last time something like that happened in politics or religion.”

— Carl Sagan

Now, I ask you — is the above statement an accurate portrayal of the human condition? Carl Sagan was a well-known atheist, yet he was always apologetic about it, very rarely antagonistic. He was also quite sour on the political system. Does this statement make Carl Sagan an anti-religion, anti-politics bigot, or is that statement accurate?

When’s the last time you changed your mind about a political or religious issue and acknowledged that fact, rather than trying to hide it? What’s your take on science’s changeability vs. religion’s immutability, or politics’ stubbornness?

And perhaps most important of all, how often are major religions or major politicians willing to do a 180 on an issue?

So what do you think of the modified look? I’m trying to nail down the kind of look I want for the site, so that when I upgrade my software here shortly I won’t be trying to design and update at the same time.

Changed things:

1. Instead of background colors, created background transparencies. This took a while; every color I use had to be recreated, except the background color for the site as a whole.
2. Added my picture, obviously. This one was actually taken earlier tonight. I’m not entirely satisfied with the look, though; a part of me thinks I should be sticking my tongue out and grinning.
3. Changed top banner color; I still need to whip out a logo, I think.
4. Limited number of nodes to 5 on front page. The front page was just getting terrifically long.
5. Nuked the sidebar stuff I never used: “who’s new”, “top nodes” “recent recipes”, and “who’s online”. Some things, like recipes, change so rarely, they really shouldn’t have been there anyway. Thanks to Paul for the suggestion; this really is a blog, not a portal to every gee-whiz geeky HTML gadget on the planet 😉
6. Modified a few colors to go better with the slightly more subdued color scheme.

The things I’ve noticed wrong are:

• Internet Explorer has problems with lots of transparent gifs on a page. That’s how I did the transparencies — I created 16×16 gifs where every other pixel was transparent. It works well, but when I initially did 2×2 gifs, IE was so slow it was pathetic. Maybe I should convert them all to 32×32. It’s still kind of slow rendering the page, even on my 933. Conversely, Mozilla smokes through the page like it’s nothing.
• I don’t have a nifty logo yet. I must make one.
• Lost the neat bar that held the menu in up top. Must figure out a replacement. I don’t have <div> attributes for the header as a total unit in my theme, and so without hacking the theme file, I couldn’t readily put back my blue & off-white bar.
• Trying to color-match for that picture in the corner was a bear. It looks OK now, but I had to master the “smudge” tool in the Gimp to get it nearly matched 🙂
• Rounded corners. I want rounded corners. That’s going to be pretty exciting to do in transparencies.

I’m done, I’m tired, got to get up for work in a few hours. I’m glad to have gotten this update out of the way, though, it’s a look & feel change I’ve wanted to make for a while but just haven’t taken the time. I want my site to be beautiful, not just functional.

I used to be convinced that I had only a sysadmin’s soul — that I was no artist. And yet, when I do things like this, there is a symmetry I’m aspiring for, and an aesthetically pleasing goal I’m attempting to reach. It’s almost like when I write music… I go back again and again, because there’s a note out of place that needs adjusting, or a sound that’s just not quite right for the most harmonious appeal. My web site’s becoming a bit like that for me lately, that when I’m done with work for the day and have a chance to be creative, my creativity comes out here instead of in my recording program.

Kind of interesting, that.

For some bizarre reason, I remembered this show. HR Pufnstuf. The “Barney” of the 1970’s, I guess. I loved this as a little kid when it was on TV. I discovered that, for just $14, just like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, you can own the entire first half-season of HR Pufnstuf on DVD. All four episodes!

I wonder where the people went who did that show, and where they are today. I think that and “Speed Racer” were my two favorite shows when I was five. It’s the only show I remember from that time of my life, except maybe “Captain Kangaroo” by the time I was in elementary school. What were yours?

Those of you watching the Democratic pre-Primary debates have no doubt been amused by the moderator’s now-familiar refrain: “Can you sum up your entire campaign in 45 seconds?”

What I find interesting is that the whole prospect of effective campaigning rests on the candidate’s ability to distill an entire platform down to a snappy bromide. And then deliver it on television.

Right? I mean, all we hear from both the media and congressional pundits is the banal obvious: the party’s breakthrough nominee will be the one that figures out how to provide a breakthrough message. So from the 11,346 pool of Democratic Presidential candidates (so angry at the Democratic National Office for the size of the letting the field of hopefuls get this big), one of them needs to have a snappy elevator pitch. It’s ridiculous. But understandable given that television is the primary media for reaching and coercing voters. You would think that the candidates and their campagn teams would recognize the need to concoct a memorable phrase and consistently use it, time and time again. Because everyone knows the majority of the American voting public doesn’t actually read up on the candidates and the issues. The voters want action-adventure politics served up in a miniaturized matinee.

It’s probably true that those not old enough to vote know more about the candidates than the adults. Schools are studying this stuff everyday.

I wish I was Mosely-Braun’s campaign manager so when the question comes…”Carol, taking less than 45 seconds, can you explain what are you going to do for the American people?”…

“Kill the white man.”

She’d get my vote. 🙂

I wrote a little while ago about the most interesting things to talk about are the ones people are often most uncomfortable discussing. They also tend to lie on the boundaries of acceptability — where it’s OK to do one thing in one culture, but not in another. I warn you in advance, this little essay is at once long-winded, poorly focussed, and probably really “out there” to most normal people.

I remember in Glendale California, as an idealistic young Mormon Missionary, I met an Armenian family — one of many in the Glendale area. Unfortunately, I can’t remember their names… the only name I remember well is that of Armik Shahmirian, who sacrificed a lamb in our honor the day before we baptized him.

Anyway, this family had a very unique saying. In English, it reads something to the effect that “Culture is just an excuse for the way you are”.

For instance, take that tradition of sacrificing a lamb in honor of someone. No, I’m not making this up — according to Armik, it’s an Eastern Armenian tradition when you are about to celebrate something important. Yet, what is the difference between saying a prayer over a lamb before slicing its throat yourself, and going to the supermarket to purchase a lamb? What’s the difference between putting a bullet between the eyes of your old milk cow, or purchasing a rack of beef ribs at the supermarket?

Do we value life less or more, because we purchase it pre-packaged in the supermarket?

This question is of some pretty vital importance to me lately. I recently switched from a nearly-vegetarian diet (I was Vegan for a year, then ovo-lacto-fish-fowl for two — which isn’t vegetarian at all, but I digress) over to a heavily fat-and-protein based Atkins diet. Really, it’s not strictly Atkins, because I think calories do matter, so I watch calories, watch carbs, and watch my protein balance so I don’t end up with ammonia breath. But now I’m contributing so much more to the dead animal contingent of the planet.

It seems obvious to me we evolved as omnivores. We have many traits in common with other hunter-gatherers. Unfortunately, in the animal world, the only really close approximation we have in a mammal that eats a diet similar to humans seems to be the bear. Eating carbs, like berries, tends to pack on the fat. Eating meats, like that nice rotting carcass over in the corner of the cave, tend to give more protein and muscle mass. Easy comparison.

But when I go to the store on three subsequent weeks, I can be almost certain that I’m eating meat from three different animals or more. As humans, we raise these animals for meat. Pigs, for instance, have become so stupid and lazy that people are paid full-time to “plug in” male pigs into female pigs because otherwise the pigs just aren’t interested in reproducing. And yet, these are normally intelligent animals.

Are they self-aware?

I think they are. I think animals have feelings, though quite different from humans, that are every bit as real as our own. I think they are aware of themselves, just as we are of ourselves. They just aren’t as smart as we are (at least, as far as we can tell). I discard the notion of a “spirit” pretty much entirely — and I realized the other day why.

I want to build something smarter than me.

I want to program an intelligence that can think faster, longer, and harder than I possibly can. And remember more. And make better judgements. And come to better decisions, not just in my own personal space, but for humanity as a whole.

We do it in every other endeavor of life. We build planes so that we can fly, when a person flies quite poorly on arms alone. We build roads and cars to transport us at amazing speeds on land. We build computers to do math better than we do, and to beat us at chess.

We can build machines to work harder than we do. To run faster. To jump farther.

Why not to think better?

This is my dream: to have an intelligent assistant small enough to fit in the palm of my hand. That this assistant can think better and faster than I do. That I can hear what it’s thinking, or better yet, to have the results directly wired into my brain. To have a secondary memory to augment my own, either through some sort of glasses-type interface, or directly interfacing with my neurons.

And most importantly, to have a non-human to talk to.

I think we’ve done amazing work with machines in so many other pursuits of life, it’s simply a matter of time before we can create autonomous life forms that think better than we do. I really don’t think we’re going to encounter “aliens” in my lifetime… interstellar distances are just too great, and wormholes, hyperspace, superlight speed, or other theories aren’t anywhere near a reality able to overcome that ocean of emptiness.

But, I think, we can find those aliens. We must build them ourselves. And most of us won’t ever even notice they are a part of our lives until the moment of recognition has passed us by.

Today, I saw the independent film, “Bubba Ho-Tep” near Chinatown in DC. It stars Bruce Campbell (“Ash” Of Evil Dead/Army of Darkness, and Brisco County Jr. fame) as a 70 year old Elvis (who did not die, but faked his own death) and Ossie Davis as JFK (Who did not die, but is now an 80 year old Black man) fighting against a Soul Sucking Egyptian Mummy in a Nursing Home.

And They Say There’s nothing new in American Cinema.

So, as I sat in the theatre, having a blast watching Elvis vs. the Mummy, I thought to myself, wouldn’t it be wonderful to be one of these Horror icons.. these guys like Bruce Campbell or Robert Englund (Freddy) or Brad Dourif (The Voice of Chucky – and Wormtongue in LOTR) or any of these guys who is known in this community as a STAR, but could walk around in a mall and never be recognized. Tha adulation and the anonymity together with a hefty paycheck and a fun job scaring the heck out of the kiddies.

This comes the day after the wrap party for the Timewarps Films’ new movie “Crawler”, in which I play one of the starring roles.. it too is an independant horror film, but with fewer credentials. At the party, I was chatting with one of the actors who is now making an independent Horror film with the director of my FIRST acting experience in a Horror film, a black and white piece called “Nocturne”… both films are of the same quality as some of these people’s first works. And somewhere inside me, there’s this hope that even if I never make it as a famous actor, someone, somewhere will remember me for my days as an independent Horror actor.. never respected by the Tom Cruises or the Academy, but loved by freaks like myself, who don’t mind a little fear with their Cappuccino.

I got into an interesting brief discussion recently, and a key phrase stuck out in my head:

“I prefer to avoid doing systems administration by the seat of my pants”

What does it mean to do IT by the seat of your pants, really? And what is its opposite?

Those who know me well know that I’m fascinated by epistemology, or the study of knowledge. I also enjoy studying language, and where things come from. “By the seat of your pants” has grown from a popular aviation-related phrase into common usage in many forums.

To “fly by the seat of your pants” in modern usage means to decide a course of action as you go along, using your own initiative and perceptions rather than a pre-determined plan or theory.

On the other hand, the original meaning of the phrase comes from early aviation parlance. Aircraft initially had few navigation aids and flying was accomplished by means of the pilot’s judgement. (ref)

On the one hand, we have this largely negative connotation of the phrase implied by the first definition. Most people would interpret this to be a synonym for “underprepared”, “spontaneous”, or “chaotic”. Yet, the original meaning doesn’t mean this at all. It’s a very positive thing. A pilot would use his training, judgement, and skill to bring about a favorable outcome. It didn’t indicate a lack of planning — in fact, quite the opposite. A skillful pilot has to have spent a great deal of time in preparation for a mission, and yet in pre-instrument days, would also have to have an excellent sense of direction, and a knowledge of terrain and problems so thorough as to be little obstacle except in the most extreme circumstances.

The world of systems administration, to me, seems these days to still be a very “seat of the pants” affair. Despite all the time spent training, planning, writing up documents, and preparing for the unexpected, when the time comes that problems arise, more often than not the skill of the computer jockey in that chair is the key between success and failure. No amount of preparation can cover all possible situations.

My opinion? When it comes to systems administration, each admin should aspire to become an excellent “seat of the pants” admin. The big BUT, though, is that one needs to create a great flight plan.

A poorly planned mission is, barring a lucky accident, doomed to failure. A well-planned mission also has a significant chance of failure, but if you have an excellent pilot in the noisy seat, you have a much better chance of pulling through difficult times.