Today is my wedding anniversary. Seven years. It doesn’t seem like I’m old eneough to be married seven years, but somehow, I have been.
Happily, too. The weird thing is that I have friends who have actually expressed a certain jealousy for how happy we are, but we are. Its really quite cool.
SO.. here it is, TEN RULES FOR BEING A GOOD HUSBAND
1) DONT DO THE OBVIOUS BAD THINGS. This means cheating and hitting. Not even once. Never threaten violence of any kind, and never threaten infidelity.
2) Never go to bed angry. Resolve the matter before you go to sleep.
3) Date night, once a week. Preferably out of the house, but in if it needs to be.
4) Be free with compliments. Look for things to say, and keep track of them in your head. If its been a while, compliment her, and try to make it specific. “You’re pretty” is nice, but you look fantastic in that outfit, or “your hair is great” is even better
5) Establish rules and follow them. For us, screaming, cursing, name calling, or statements like “You always do..” are against the rules. Even if you were right in your point in the argument, if you break a rule, its over and you surrender.
6) Say I’m Sorry. Man this is hard, but it goes a long way. Even for little things, being 5 minutes late.
7) Say thank you, and again, be specific. “Dinner was great” or “Thanks for doing (whatever), I appreciate it”, again goes a really long way.
8) Let her spend some money. You see that stereo and TV and computer? I know we don’t see things like a new outfit or a haircut or new makeup as important, but it might be to her. We’ll never understand a 50 dollar pair of shoes, but then, look at the junk we like to collect.
9) Ask her about her day.. and ask her how specific sagas are going. And listen, take mental notes, and come back to those specifics later.
10) Look for opportunities.. roses, candy, cards. it may all be cliche, but I still get mileage out of the good old 1.99 7-11 rose, or a box of donuts delivered to her work.
And thats all, I could list a hundred more, but the point is that you should love someone. And notice that Love is a verb, not an adjective or noun like other emotions. It is not something you feel, its something you do.