Month: June 2007

Yeah, I know it’s old, but it’s a good one…

HOW TO WRITE GOOD. ——————————————————

This is an English recap. Now for today’s lesson.

1. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.

2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

3. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.

4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They’re old hat).

6. Always avoid annoying alliteration.

7. Be more or less specific.

8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.

9. Also, too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.

10. No sentence fragments. No comma splices, run-ons are bad too.

11. Contractions aren’t helpful and shouldn’t be used.

12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.

14. One should never generalize.

15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.

16. Don’t use no double negatives.

17. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.

19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

20. The passive voice is to be ignored.

21. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.

22. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.

23. Kill all exclamation points!!!!

24. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.

25. Understatement is probably not the best way to propose earth shattering ideas.

26. Use the apostrophe in it’s proper place and omit it when its not needed.

27. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”

28. If you’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it a thousand times: resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.

29. Puns are for children, not groan readers.

30. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

31. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

32. Who needs rhetorical questions?

33. Exaggeration is a million times worse than understatement.

34. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

Surface Computing is some pretty cool technology that M$ has been developing. Take a look. I especially like the wireless features that they discuss towards the end of the video. I can’t wait to find one to play with.

So just in case you are wondering, today I present for you the reason why, after eating asparagus, your pee smells funny. Apparently only 40% of us produce the distinctive, foul odor, and only about 40% can smell it.

Unfortunately, there is no correlation between the two. I’m one who can smell it, but doesn’t make it… I wish the fellow who used the restroom right before me were in the same camp!

I will admit to being guilty of coffee-whizz if I drink more than one cup, though…

I came across this quote from Benjamin Franklin’s autobiography regarding how he made a conscious change regarding his language and demeanor in his twenties that affected him for the rest of his life. I found it enlightening.

My list of virtues contain’d at first but twelve; but a Quaker friend having kindly informed me that I was generally thought proud; that my pride show’d itself frequently in conversation; that I was not content with being in the right when discussing any point, but was overbearing, and rather insolent, of which he convinc’d me by mentioning several instances; I determined endeavouring to cure myself, if I could, of this vice or folly among the rest, and I added Humility to my list, giving an extensive meaning to the word.

I cannot boast of much success in acquiring the reality of this virtue, but I had a good deal with regard to the appearance of it. I made it a rule to forbear all direct contradiction to the sentiments of others, and all positive assertion of my own. I even forbid myself, agreeably to the old laws of our Junto, the use of every word or expression in the language that imported a fix’d opinion, such as certainly, undoubtedly, etc., and I adopted, instead of them, I conceive, I apprehend, or I imagine a thing to be so or so; or it so appears to me at present. When another asserted something that I thought an error, I deny’d myself the pleasure of contradicting him abruptly, and of showing immediately some absurdity in his proposition; and in answering I began by observing that in certain cases or circumstances his opinion would be right, but in the present case there appear’d or seem’d to me some difference, etc. I soon found the advantage of this change in my manner; the conversations I engag’d in went on more pleasantly. The modest way in which I propos’d my opinions procur’d them a readier reception and less contradiction; I had less mortification when I was found to be in the wrong, and I more easily prevail’d with others to give up their mistakes and join with me when I happened to be in the right.

And this mode, which I at first put on with some violence to natural inclination, became at length so easy, and so habitual to me, that perhaps for these fifty years past no one has ever heard a dogmatical expression escape me. And to this habit (after my character of integrity) I think it principally owing that I had early so much weight with my fellow-citizens when I proposed new institutions, or alterations in the old, and so much influence in public councils when I became a member; for I was but a bad speaker, never eloquent, subject to much hesitation in my choice of words, hardly correct in language, and yet I generally carried my points

In reality, there is, perhaps, no one of our natural passions so hard to subdue as pride. Disguise it, struggle with it, beat it down, stifle it, mortify it as much as one pleases, it is still alive, and will every now and then peep out and show itself; you will see it, perhaps, often in this history; for, even if I could conceive that I had compleatly overcome it, I should probably be proud of my humility.

Benjamin Franklin, Autobiography, chapter 8

http://kutv.com/topstories/local_story_164122850.html

A local inventor named Daniel Geery was flying a “Hyper Blimp” — a radio-controlled, electric-powered, aerobatic blimp of his own design — when it lost power while flying in the eastern foothills over Salt Lake. It drifted for hours, flying low over downtown and generating numerous 911 calls before finally settling back into the foothills.

The fun thing, for me, about this event is that we just watched a video of the Hyper Blimp last month at my R/C aviation club meeting. It’s an amazingly maneuverable beast, measuring about 30 feet long, yet capable of loops, rolls, spins, and other maneuvers normally out of reach of blimps. Quite cool. And on one hand, it’s possible this may bring greater exposure to the sport of radio-controlled aviation. I grew up absolutely loving R/C and control-line aviation, but today most kids would rather play the Wii or XBox 🙂

On the other hand, I worry about possible prosecution for the blimp developer. Apparently, the blimp stayed below 400 feet above ground level the whole time (which makes sense, as you inflate a blimp to hold a certain altitude), thus staying out of the nearby Salt Lake airport airspace, and didn’t do any damage to anything. I understand the “UFO” freaked a bunch of people out.

But can you criminally prosecute someone for frightening you?

Regardless, all the best to Daniel. I hope he may have many hours of fun flying future Hyper Blimps… but next time, dude, install a dedicated receiver pack rather than relying on voltage from your power pack to keep your receiver going. Perhaps you could come up with an emergency deflation device!

Found this site today. Way cool.

Before the revival of the Twilight Zone by CBS during 1985 I became hooked on the original series. No, not the television series, but the original writings by the original authors, including Serling, Charles Beaumont, and Richard Matheson. The scripts and shorts were at the library in compendium form. Before the days of 4,006 cable channels, you only got to see the 1959-1964 televised versions in rare moments.

I loved the literary versions because television does have limitations. As it relates to the Twilight Zone, the written effect was always stronger. Those guys could write.

However, I absolutely loved the mid-80s televised revival. I remembered waiting all week just for Friday night at 8pm. My buddy and I spent our time during school planning where to watch. The hour-long series was cool to watch, hip, exciting and fresh. For many years after, the CBS episodes were only available by rusting memory. But now, thanks to the power of the internet, I can watch all episodes from the first three revival seasons…on-demand.

I thought this Radio Drama site was worth sharing, because when it comes to the eerie and thrilling nature of the original stories, audio-only has a more powerful effect than televised. I downloaded the 3 free episodes.

I just discovered a treasure trove of Larry Kersten quotes. Man, it’s amazing that one pessimistic sociologist can dream up so many inventive ways to humorously surrender to the human condition…

“Adversity – That which does not kill me postpones the inevitable.”

“CONSULTING: If you’re not a part of the solution, there’s good money to be made in prolonging the problem.”

“Teamwork – A few harmless flakes working together can unleash an avalanche of destruction.”

“Procrastination: Hard work often pays off after time, but laziness always pays off now”

“Retirement – Because you’ve given so much of yourself to the company that you don’t have anything left we can use.”

“Achievement – You can do anything you set your mind to when you have vision, determination, and an endless supply of expendable labor.”

“Nepotism – We promote family values here almost as often as we promote family members.”

“Overconfidence – Before you attempt to beat the odds, be sure you could survive the odds beating you.”

“Sacrifice – Your role may be thankless, but if you’re willing to give it your all, you just might bring success to those who outlast you.”

“Insanity – It’s difficult to comprehend how insane some people can be. Especially when you’re insane.”

“Dreams – Dreams are like rainbows. Only idiots chase them.”

“Incompetence – When you earnestly believe you can compensate for a lack of skill by doubling your efforts, there’s no end to what you can’t do.”

“Loneliness – If you find yourself struggling with loneliness, you’re not alone. And yet you are alone. So very alone.”

“Failure – When your best just isn’t good enough.”

“Pessimism – Every dark cloud has a silver lining, but lightning kills hundreds of people each year who are trying to find it.”

“Blame – The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures.”

“Cluelessness – There are no stupid questions, but there are a LOT of inquisitive idiots.”

“Hazards – There is an island of opportunity in the middle of every difficulty. Miss that, though, and you’re pretty much doomed.”

“Power – Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. But it rocks absolutely, too.”

“Bitterness – Never be afraid to share your dreams with the world, because there’s nothing the world loves more than the taste of really sweet dreams.”

“Apathy – If we don’t take care of the customer, maybe they’ll stop bugging us.”

“Agony – Not all pain is gain.”

“Arrogance – The best leaders inspire by example. When that’s not an option, brute intimidation works pretty well, too.”

“Discovery – A company that will go to the ends of the earth for its people will discover it can hire them for about 10% of the cost of Americans.”

“Ambition – The journey of a thousand miles sometimes ends very, very badly.”

“Humiliation – The harder you try, the dumber you look.”

“Elitism – It’s lonely at the top. But it’s comforting to look down upon everyone at the bottom.”

“Dysfunction – The only consistent feature of all of your dissatisfying relationships is you.”

“Demotivation – Sometimes the best solution to morale problems is just to fire all of the unhappy people.”

“Defeat – For every winner there are dozens of losers. Odds are you’re one of them.”

“Fear – Until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore, you will not know the terror of being forever lost at sea.”

“Stupidity – Quitters never win, winners never quit, but those who never win AND never quit are idiots.”

“Mediocrity – It takes a lot less time and most people won’t notice the difference until it’s too late.”

“Pretension – The downside of being better than everyone else is that people tend to assume you’re pretentious.”

“Flattery – If you want to get to the top, prepare to kiss a lot of the bottom.”

The University of Georgia has apparently created a statistical model for predicting chances of success in wars. I tell you, we are getting closer and closer to a Hari Seldon-like reality.

For those of you unfamiliar with Seldon, he is a major protagonist in Isaac Asimov’s “Foundation” trilogy. Although the works are fiction, they helped shape my adult outlook. I know this is going to sound kind of way out there to some people, but I see this war-model as a prelude to practical Psychohistory, or the prediction of future events based on statistical predictions.

We’re seeing fictional precedents from SF novels and media fulfilled over and over again. Like technology from Star Trek, it seems as if scientists, once given a fictional portrayal of a useful device, inexorably work toward that as a goal even if they don’t mean to. Witness our “Communicator-like” cell phones. Yeah, it’s just one small example, but the Motorola Razr is eerily similar to Jim Kirk’s hand held communicator.

I don’t think anything in the world happens by “accident“. If one understood all the variables surrounding a supposed “accident”, it could have been perfectly predicted ahead of time. While there is some very slight randomness at the level of electrons, reactions of substances larger than subatomic levels are universally predictable. It’s the grounding foundation of science that, if you control the variables, you can make reliable predictions regarding the outcome of an event.

The problem in making such predictions is that, when people are made aware of predictions about their behavior, the predictions then become a variable in the equation, messing it up. For instance, this prediction of a 23% chance of “success” in Iraq has, itself, affected the likelihood of a favorable outcome. IMHO, such a low probability will drive anti-war efforts with the backing of “science” — more like, “carefully chosen statistics favorable to your non-scientific goals” — for political purposes. This is the same effect for which we use placebos in double-blind tests, because often the simple awareness that one is taking a medication is enough to cause a substantial percentage of those being tested to show effects.

A politician, as various famous people have said before, uses statistics like a drunk uses a lamp-post… more for support than for illumination. The unfortunate fact is that as our ability to model human behavior becomes more and more refined from the rough, tentative steps we take today, money will continue to be needed to fund such projects. That money will probably come from universities, who rely on grant money — public money — for support, which means more publicity, regular appeals for more cash, and easily-twisted statistics wielded by politicians and policy-makers for their own self-serving ends.

What seems to be needed is an enormously wealthy, self-sustaining think-tank which keeps mum about most of its predictions, only using the outcomes of various conflicts to further improve statistical models. I don’t know if it would be possible — or even desirable — to keep such an effort under wraps, particularly when knowledge of the outcome of a conflict could be used to avert the conflict in the first place.

Came across an interesting article today discussing the growing visibility of Mormonism in politics, media, and culture.

SALT LAKE CITY, Utah (Reuters) – After more than a century on the fringe of America’s consciousness, Mormons are riding a wave of media attention and public scrutiny — and say they welcome the chance to set a few things straight.

From Mitt Romney’s bid to become the first Mormon in the White House to Public Broadcasting Service’s four-hour documentary on Mormonism in May and a Hollywood movie opening this month focusing on one of Mormon history’s darkest episodes, the once-isolated religion is moving into the open.

“We welcome it,” Elder D. Todd Christofferson, a member of the Presidency of the Seventy, a church leadership body, said of the sudden attention.

“To the extent that attention can be informative as opposed to pejorative and there’s a sincere interest and honest curiosity, I think that’s positive,” he said.

Of course, the line between “informative” and “pejorative” is drawn subjectively. In just two months, the release of September Dawn will, for the first time in US history, deal with the Mountain Meadows Massacre in a major media release. Upon the announcement of the movie, the LDS church went into full damage control mode by stating:

“From what we know of this movie, it is a fictional portrayal before, during, and after the tragic events at Mountain Meadows in 1857. This film is a serious distortion of history.

I think calling something a “serious distortion of history” qualifies as a perception that this film is pejorative. Who decides?

Polygamy, of course, was outlawed in 1890 in Utah, and stopped being practiced by the Salt Lake City LDS apostles and prophets a decade and a half later. In part due to media attention over the past two decades, however, polygamists still represent approximately 3% of all Utah residents, and their numbers are growing at a phenomenal rate, both due to birthrates and conversions. Polygamy is an issue that will have to be dealt with one way or another. That said, the current Attorney General of Utah has pledged to not oppose polygamy itself, and only investigate abuses of other laws which might be related to it.

Despite media portrayals to the contrary, this attitude is very common in Utah. In general, US Mormons recognize their polygamous past as something which — if the Lord were to command it — they would be required to follow again. Many have ambiguous feelings about the topic. Some few bitterly oppose it.

Most, however, simply ignore it, and wish it would go away.

Well, we’re finally back after a whirlwind tour of California including San Simeon, Bakersfield, Carlsbad, and Palm Springs. I will provide my usual daily dose of humor, angst, rancor, and bizarre topics starting tomorrow morning 🙂