The Value Of Truth

A philosopher named Harry G. Frankfurt wrote a brilliant essay a number of years ago entitled, “On BS”. The title notwithstanding, the essay brilliantly examines a phenomenon you’re going to see your whole life: people who say things for the effect of the saying, not the truth or falsehood of what it is they say.

A philosopher named Harry G. Frankfurt wrote a brilliant essay a number of years ago entitled, “On BS”. The title notwithstanding, the essay brilliantly examines a phenomenon you’re going to see your whole life: people who say things for the effect of the saying, not the truth or falsehood of what it is they say. I’m not going to try to restate Frankfurt’s essay here. He does a fine job on his own. I want to focus on what this means to you.

Words are generally a means to an end. That end may be to convey information, rally support, provoke a fight, fulfill the requirements of an oral exam, or whatever. Those words you use will typically be one of three categories: words you believe to be true, words you believe to be false, and words you believe will have some sort of impact regardless of their truth or falsehood (“BS”).

To be an effective storyteller, you must be an effective BSer. It’s the nature of the business. People know that your words are not necessarily true; they realize those words are intended to create an effect and bizarrely they pay you to BS to them. Many other entertainers must be masters of BS in one form or another to do their jobs.

I believe that many of our biggest problems — both personally and as a society — arise when we persuade ourselves not that what is false is true, but that which is BS is true. The difference is subtle but important. Frankfurt has this to say about it:

Both in lying and in telling the truth people are guided by their beliefs concerning the way things are. These guide them as they endeavor either to describe the world correctly or to describe it deceitfully. For this reason, telling lies does not tend to unfit a person for telling the truth in the same way that [BS] tends to. …The [BS]er ignores these demands altogether. He does not reject the authority of the truth, as the liar does, and oppose himself to it. He pays no attention to it at all. By virtue of this, [BS] is a greater enemy of the truth than lies are.

I’m not going to advise my older children to never lie. The truth is, lying is an important skill under varying circumstances: to protect others, to protect yourself, to make yourself look better, and to get out of trouble, among other reasons. It’s extremely important to realize that everybody lies. Especially the people who tell you they never lie; that statement itself is guaranteed to be a lie. As long as you avoid being a pathological liar — someone who lies frequently and for no good reason other than compulsion — you’re really no different than everybody else in that regard. It’s important to know that your ability to discern a lie is really no better than random chance; in fact, you are more likely to believe a lie from a loved one than a stranger.

Those you believe to frequently tell the truth usually have some reasons they do so: 1. It’s much easier to remember the truth than a lie. Telling the truth is pretty straightforward; you don’t have to keep multiple stories straight or come up with weak excuses. This is the primary reason I advocate for telling the truth as a pragmatic measure. 2. They have some sort of personal religious, moral, or ethical bias toward truth-telling rather than falsehoods. 3. Gaining a reputation for telling the truth means that when one absolutely, positively needs to lie, that lie is much more likely to be believed.

I encourage my children for all of the reasons above to tell the truth as much as possible even when it is uncomfortable to do so. Telling the truth about yourself — including your failings — typically makes you look BETTER than you would otherwise, as it causes you to appear humble and self-effacing, even when an impressive lie would be more convenient or useful. Telling the truth rather than a lie to avoid trouble convinces others you are ethical and willing to face the consequences of your actions; the consequences of doing something wrong and telling the truth about it are also usually much lighter than the consequences of doing something wrong and lying about it. Sticking to the truth when describing events helps you remember and keep the story straight.

If you must lie, it’s important to know the truth yourself, and the lie should be carefully planned and not spontaneous. Spontaneous lies are extremely easy to crack through. One just needs to look hard enough. A well-planned lie works on multiple levels to obscure the truth. Certain careers in Intelligence, for instance, require such lies to protect lives and prevent tragedy. These jobs are rare, but exist; you should consider carefully whether you’re willing to live that way.

Above all, save the BS for entertaining people. Avoid using BS to try to get your way; that’s the path frequently used by politicians, lawyers, and CEOs. It often works, but it takes a terrible personal and professional cost. There is a reason those in these kinds of positions are typically so widely reviled. I — and H.G. Frankfurt — call that reason BS.

FMC: Body Hair

Dear Children,

Today I touch on a sensitive topic: body hair. If you are easily offended, please go read something else, as we’re going to deal very bluntly with the topic.

Dear Children,

Today I touch on a sensitive topic: body hair. If you are easily offended, please go read something else, as we’re going to deal very bluntly with the topic. Human body hair serves several obvious purposes, amongst others I probably have not thought of.

  • It keeps us warm in the cold.
  • It is decoration. One’s hair — including that on the head — serves much the same purpose as the mane on a horse. The beauty of one’s hair and/or beard causes a reaction amongst the opposite sex, which may be one of revulsion, attraction, or simply an expression of interest.
  • The comparative lack of body hair on humans relative to other animals is thought to be an evolutionary advantage allowing us to run longer distances without overheating, whether for running down game or avoiding predators. There may also be some aspect of sexual selection to it, as being less-hairy has throughout recorded history been believed to be a mark of civilization or better breeding, while those who are perceived as hairier are often assumed to have other Neanderthal traits as well.
  • It serves to trap and preserve bacteria and fungus, and is therefore a scent to be used to mark one’s territory from encroaching would-be competitors or predators.

It is this last bit I want to focus on. In modern society, we care about smells. The dense patches of body hair on modern humans stink. This is an evolutionary artifact, and I submit that scent-marking of our territory — as evidenced upon opening the door to the bedroom of any teenage boy — is a long-expired bit that should be put to rest as well.

If you are human, you stink.

Them’s the breaks.

To mitigate our intense odor, there are several things you can do. We call these “good hygiene”, but it’s really more than that. You don’t wish to offend your family and friends. Here are my tips for all youth aged ten and up that, if followed, will dramatically lower your odor.

  1. Bathe daily with soap, paying special attention to get in the cracks where bacteria festers, and one’s body or scalp hair: behind the ears, the butt, the genitals, the armpits, the feet (if you habitually wear shoes, as most of us do), and the scalp. All of these regions tend to foster smelly bacteria which requires daily removal to prevent strong odors.
  2. Brush your teeth at least twice daily, morning and night.
  3. If you still have tonsils, gargle with a non-alcohol mouthwash. This will help dislodge fetid “tonsil stones” that tend to build up in the folds of one’s tonsils; even warm water gargled several times a day this way can help.
  4. Avoid malodorous foods if you plan to have company that day. Garlic, asparagus, and onions top the list.
  5. Wash your clothing regularly; any individual piece of clothing should be worn no more than perhaps three times between launderings, and underclothing only once. If you sweated heavily in any piece of clothing, it should be washed immediately thereafter and not left to molder on the floor. The principal exception is outer-garments which do not come into direct contact with skin bacteria, such as suit coats, raincoats, snow pants, etc.
  6. If your body hair, as mine, reaches extreme lengths, it’s helpful to trim it every few months if you wish to avoid excessive smelliness. Once or twice a year suffices for mine to keep it down to less than an inch; if left untended, my leg hair grows longer than the typical length of hair on my head. Keeping body hair groomed is nice for you and nice for those around you. I will not comment on the unsightliness or not of having body hair (such standards change over time with sensibilities about body image), but simply suggest that if your armpit hair is longer than your pinky finger, it almost certainly harbors a surprisingly-large colony of bacteria that everyone around you can typically smell.

Thus endeth the lesson.

FMC: The Nature of MLM

I’ve been thinking for a long time that I need to write a series of very important things I’ve learned over my lifetime. Almost every day for the last year, some concept has occurred to me that would be good for my kids to know so they can avoid making the same mistakes I’ve made, or seen others close to me make.

In that vein, here’s my first topic!

For My Children: The Nature of Multi-Level Marketing Companies

I’ve been thinking for a long time that I need to write a series of very important things I’ve learned over my lifetime. Almost every day for the last year, some concept has occurred to me that would be good for my kids to know so they can avoid making the same mistakes I’ve made, or seen others close to me make.

In that vein, here’s my first topic!

For My Children: The Nature of Multi-Level Marketing Companies

For a moment, think about what your average shopping experience is like. What’s your process? I can’t talk about yours, but I can talk about mine.

For me, the process typically can start in one of two ways: 1. I desire something because it’s something I already know would satisfy me in some way. Food, shelter, clothing, warmth, a TV, a new hard drive to move data at my work, whatever. I may not know the specific exact thing that I want, but I know I want something that does a thing for me. 2. I desire something because it’s new. There’s a lot more detail to it — new feature, new price point, totally new thing, etc. — but it’s the new-ness and the timing of the purchase is important.

Now imagine you hear about or see a certain product. It serves a need for you of some sort, and it may not have been something you’ve seen before. You make the decision to purchase it. You like it so much, you buy something else of the same brand, and again have a good experience. This is the heart of brand loyalty, and there are many, many ethical companies that purposefully try to build that type of customer loyalty through superior products, advertising, image, etc.

There’s a fine line, of course. What if the product is crap but has a great marketing campaign? What if it’s a good product, but abuses its workers in some way? What if a company pioneered a product or service, but now some other company is producing a similar product at a lower cost? What if that new company is undercutting their competition in a completely ethical way? What if they are doing so unethically?

These are good questions to ask yourself to inform your purchasing decisions. As I often tell my kids, “Question everything. Then question your questions to discover if there are other questions you should have asked instead.” It’s very important to always question what you are told or read.

Even what you read here, from me.

That may be a topic for another post on another day, perhaps, but is not the thrust of what I want to discuss today. I want to talk about “direct marketing”. Direct marketing occurs when someone you already know in some way advertises a product and/or service to you. It’s also often called “affinity marketing” or “direct sales”, but many companies give their own special name for it.

There is, of course, a spectrum of direct marketing approaches and products for sale, from personal hygiene products to jewelry to financial services to sex toys. It’s truly dizzying. Direct Marketing allows companies to build product loyalty through word-of-mouth. Some times the products are worth the price of this method of marketing, others not.

What matters for the purpose of this little discussion, though, is their FOCUS.

Inevitably, at some point in your early adulthood, someone will try to invite you to some sort of direct marketing seminar. I won’t tell you not to go! Instead, I encourage you to go. But leave all your cash, checkbook, and credit cards at home. If possible, leave even your identification at home. At some point in the seminar they will try to convince you to sign something, purchase something, or whatever.

For this first experience, I want you to practice saying, “no” in the mirror.

Seriously.

Look yourself in the mirror and mouth the word, “no” several times. You want to get used to it.

Practice asking yourself oddball questions aloud, and answer “no” to yourself. “Do you love your family?” “No.” “Do you like good food?” “No, I don’t.” “If you could make a million dollars in the next thirty seconds by saying ‘yes’, would you do it?” “No, I won’t.”

The more you might possibly want to say “yes” to a question, the more important it is to say no. You’re not going to lie; you’re practicing this to avoid being manipulated.

Then go to the meeting with your “friend”. Be sure to have your own transportation; do not rely on someone that already is purchasing and/or selling the product! Do not take up a pen. Do not pull out cash. Do not answer “yes” to anything. Do not sign anything. Keep your hands in your lap. If it really seems like a good product — and more importantly, if it’s an ethical company — there will always be an opportunity say yes some other day. Don’t be deceived by false timing propositions like, “If you don’t do this tonight, you’re going to pay more later!” There’s always another sale later. If the product is good enough, it or one like it will be available later. Trust me on this part.

Once you come back from the presentation — once again, don’t agree to anything while you’re there! — evaluate the merits of the presentation, and ask yourself this one question:

“Did they focus on selling me a product? Or did they focus on recruiting ME to sell product?”

If a salesperson is trying to sell me a product, it will be worth evaluating and comparing to similar products or services. It may be overpriced; if so, buy something else. It may be high or low quality; determine if it’s worth purchasing based on those merits. Verify that their product seems to be ethical. If it’s something that ostensibly holds resale value, verify for yourself that the used market for the product or service increases in value; if it decreases in value, but you still want it, perhaps you could obtain it used and save some money? If you buy it new, are you paying extra simply because you are the first to have the thing?

You may end up a satisfied customer of a new product or service. Do your research, and heck, you might end up saving money and improving your quality of life. It’s important to be open-minded to new things.

But then there’s the dark side.

If that salesperson is trying to recruit you to also be a sales person for that thing in the presentation, you should avoid that thing with all the power you possess. Ethical businesses do not thrive by recruiting new people to pay into their company in some way. That is the behavior of predatory companies, and those who tread as close as they legally can to being a “pyramid scheme”, while not actually doing anything strictly illegal.

Pyramid schemes are notorious. The simplest of them were popular several decades ago. You receive an envelope containing a ten-dollar bill, a list of names, and a promise: Send five ten-dollar bills to five people you know, and to the five people on the list, crossing off certain names as you do so. If you do this, the letter promises, you will soon receive many thousands of dollars from people doing likewise. It sounds like magic, and for those who received such letters early on — high in the “pyramid” — it was enormously profitable. For the cost of a hundred dollars, you could get many times the return. And if every time you receive such a letter from someone else in the chain, you repeat the process, you are promised to continue compounding your money.

Such schemes are illegal now. You can go to jail for participating in them. The simple reason is mathematics. Any process that doubles itself with each iteration soon will number more iterations than there are atoms in the entire universe. With a finite population, you simply run out of people willing to participate in the chain. When you run out of people willing to send money to others in the list, the process falls apart, and you are left with a HUGE number of people that sent money, but never received any. All it does is shuffle money around, typically landing the largest portion of the pot in the hands of the guy who started the scam in the first place. Those people left holding the bag at the end of the chain typically don’t lose very much individually, but because so many people lost that bit, it represents an enormous drain on society as a whole. As a matter of public financial safety, we discourage the practice.

Mostly we do this because those who start such scams are usually people whom we really don’t want to end up with a lot of money: criminals. Those who’s first impulse is to figure out how to cheat society out of the products of other people’s labors rather than earning it honestly themselves.

And that’s the problem when you get home from that seminar at which you steadfastly said, “no”, refused to pick up a pen, refused to agree to anything that was presented to you. You’ve determined what their focus is: was it sales of a product? Or was it recruitment of more sales people?

If the latter, steer far away. It is the modern incarnation of that legendary postal chain mail from decades ago. It works for those near the top of the pyramid, but if you were to sign up, if you were to pay a $500 “signup fee”, or “marketing bundle purchase”, or “sales starter pack”, or whatever they choose to call it… you will know that the only way you will ever see money is if someone else is left holding the bag. Eventually, such a direct marketing approach must inevitably, mathematically fail. You cannot recruit everyone on the planet to sell these things.

The numbers bear it out. On average, some 97% of people who sign up for such “new” marketing schemes never sell enough to recoup their initial investment. The only ones making money are the 3% who are hard-working enough — or is it, perhaps, “unethical enough” — to willfully, repeatedly, with full knowledge of the devastated lives and lost money in their wake, continue to peddle their recruitment seminars indefinitely.

Do you really want to be one of those people? Callous enough to know that 97 out of every 100 people you talk to will utterly fail attempting to recruit others, and that their investment is simply wasted as part of the endless money-churning effort lying behind such pyramid schemes?

It’s up to you. As for me, if the answer to that question ever comes back that they want to sell me stuff just so that I can sell it to other people, I turn around and run the other way. I want nothing of such unethical business practices, knowing that the only way I can make money is to prey on the young, the gullible, and the desperate.

No thanks.