Author: Timpane

Have you ever done something so embarassing you just couldn’t deal with it?

For instance.. last week, I was in Starbucks.. and I was a hoot. Man, i was being funny, getting everyone around me laughing.. and generally trying to be the life of the party. Boy it feels good to have the attention… That is of course, until I was handed my caramel Frappuccino, and as I was there in the limelight of my own creation, My fingers slipped on the wet cup.. and I spilled it all over the counter, the girl handing it to me.. and myself.

The ironic thing is not just that i had drawn so much attention to myself.. but I had asked someone who I thought I knew who they were.. and we couldn’t place it.. until I realized he was a good friend of an ex-girlfriend of mine.. and I swear, as i tried with the recycled napkins to clean the frozen delight from the counter, he was yanking out his celphone and dialing furiously.. maybe its me.

So do we all have these mortifying times?.. cuz I have many.

Did we give up the ghost for the promise of financial comfort?

“We wanted to make it big, we wanted to follow all our dreams, we wanted music to take us away”…Not everything Wayward Sun did was quite so profound, but there was a sad prophecy that seemed to accompany that bridge… and it always resonated with me.

Did we give up the ghost?

I am an actor, and I’m good at it, and I still plan to “take my shot”.. but 30 is less than 2 years away, and suddenly it seems frighteningly like that shot will be hard to hit. As a “side career”, I’ve given 3 years of my life to nursing school – allowing me to pay my mortgage.. and I’m not alone. Lawyers, System Admins, Nurses, there are those here who had very different dreams 10 years ago.

Did we give up the ghost – or is there hope that somehow we’ll have enough money to be able to reemerge as players in our original field while the people who kept trying to grab that brass ring called fame.. starve as experienced waiters?

I’m not ready to give up the ghost just yet, but its shadow looms over me with every birthday.. every friend who decides its easier to take a “real job”.. and every friend who moves to L.A… and every friend who moves back because it never worked out.

Ghost stories always did scare me, this is no exception.

Matt Barnson just had his wisdom teeth out.

That much I remember. It was summer 1992, and we were rounding the bend of the summer.

The day started out early, after one of the many nights I spent up in gaithersburg at the home of Mr. Barnson.. and we had planned a trip to the Montgomery County fair. It was a real surprise indeed, that Matt would have had me there at all, considering that morning he was to have his wisdom teeth out.

The night before, we had enjoyed all sorts of fun, at a small party at the house of Bryan gregg, just down the street, where I got to hang out with all the older kids who had just come back from college. Once back at Matt’s we enjoyed a night of licking marshmallows and throwing them at the ceiling to make them stick (a trick I learned from my Steve Sulouff back in Williamsburg). Matt’s stepsister Crystal had come to visit that week as well.

As Matt went to undergo major oral surgery, I visited my then-girlfriend who lived just down the street, but got back in time to attend a viewing of Batman Returns, which surprisingly, matt felt up to attending as well.

Once finished, the Matt, Bryan, Crystal, and more of us went to the Montgomery County fair to enjoy the sticky, sugary fatty foods, and the death defying rides.

While choosing to forego the foods on account of his surgery, I was surprised to find Matt sitting beside me on the “Zipper”, which is the closest one can be to tumbling out a 20 story building without accidentally doing so.

Matt, still numb with Novocaine and painkillers, was laughing and barely noticing the weird taste in his mouth.

It was only on the “Ring of Fire”, 10 minutes later, that Matt started to express to me that he was feeling sick. Not surprising, considering the blood dripping from his mouth. He looked at me with a look of mixed horror and glee as the ride began, and said “Yup.. looks like I’m gonna die”, as he flashed his cheshire grin, red oozing from between his teeth.

Why am I telling you this?

Well, partly because its a favorite Matt memory.. that greusome, funny picture, and partly because I like remembering what it was like to feel invulnerable, like we all did.. and now I get sick on the Zipper.

Mostly, I think we are defined by moments like these, when in one day, you experience so many things that are indicitave of your teenage life, so many people, most of which you never see again, and that dirty, sickly sweet cotton candy and haybail smell of the fair.. that once you are older, never seems to smell as good.

This week is a week of trepidation for me, and about an issue I usually care nothing about… television.

Now, let me say.. I’m not a big fan of most TV

But don’t we all have our favorite shows.. and haven’t we.. and don’t we all have to see the end of our favorite characters and their fictional lives we somehow have come to value?

Sometimes we get robbed, like when Sam never returned home in the anticlimactic end of Quantum Leap. Sometimes we get surprised, like when there is no “final episode”.. and sometimes we get to see the lives of characters move on in TV (like Frasier, and next year’s Friends spinoff “Joey”), or even in the movies (Highlander, Trek, and soon, X-Files).

I remember when STAR TREK:TNG used to be #1 for the week in the ratings, and now.. fourteen years after that 3 week stint, I still faithfully watch Star Trek: Enterprise, knowing they are on the verge of cancellation because thier numbers are less than a third of #1 for wednesday nights.

An announcement will be coming in the next 14 days.

For all this time.. and for some.. even longer than that.. we’ve always known we could have some kind of Trek to tune into.. and now, if it doesn’t die this season, it will probably at the end of next.. and no more movies are coming.

Such is true for the “Buffy” fans this year, as “Angel” comes to a close, and for “Cheers” fans, as Frasier ends.

I’m lucky enough to be confident that Trek will probably come back some day in one way. but I marvel at the whole idea.. that we start to like these imaginary little worlds so much.. and when they go away, its a little sad.

The real fear is that with the new advent of reality TV, in a few years, people will look back at this whole phenomenon and not understand why we got sucked in..

90% of whats on TV sucks, no doubt.. but man.. that other 10%.

I know I usually wait till sunday to post, but I thought this bit of news would be hot, so, yes, you heard it here first..

JOHN KERRY HAS CHOSEN TV AND RADIO COMMENTATOR BILL O’REILLY TO BE HIS RUNNING MATE IN 2004.

From Reuters: “In an effort to secure the swing vote and the votes of dissatisfied republican voters, John kerry has added the host of Fox News’s “O’Reilly factor” to the presidential ticket”

I’ve put a link to the rest of article on my website..

www.timpane.com/kerry

EDIT by matthew: Fixed the link.

Alright, Barnsonians, after “going around the bend” a bit with the Supreme Court issue, I thought I’d return to what I do best.. Movie lists.

This week, we beg the question.. What are your favorite big screen adaptations of Television Programs??

As you may know, Scooby Doo 2 opened this week to big numbers, and it got me thinking.. there have been a LOT of TV shows in the movies these days.. so here it is.. my top 5!

5. The Brady Bunch Movie. Perfect mix of camp tribute to the original show and sarcastic criticism.

4. Transformers: the Movie. Sure, they destroyed my childhood by killing half of my favorite people in the first 5 minutes.. but I liked it.. guilty pleasure.. but I still watch it today.

3. Star Trek First Contact. Brought the big TV villians, the Borg to the big screen.. and it rocked out.

2. The Fugitive. Actually managed to be quite a bit better than the series that inspired it, with an academy award winning performance, and just a taut thriller of a tale.

1. Monty python and the Holy Grail. This sketch comedy show turned into a movie just was awesome in every way. And somehow.. while not so funny on first viewing, gets better and better each time I see it.

Just to jar your memories, here are more TV adaptations.. any of them tickle your fancy? Any I forgot. Any you really really hated?

Charlie’s Angels, Starsky and Hutch, Space Jam, the ENTIRE Star Trek series, the Monty Python Movies, Highlander: Endgame, Scooby Doo, X-Files, Mission Impossible, Rugrats, pokemon, Superstar, Wayne’s World, The Naked gun, The Avengers, South Park.. tons more..

Why is this need inside me?

Last night I watched the extra features on the DVD for “Once Upon A Time In Mexico”, which is the wonderful follow up to one of my favorite all time movies, “Desperado”. The trilogy of movies in this series was done by a guy on the cheap, mostly produced at home, and all out of this need to create..

Man, I want to do this. I’ve been listening to old Wayward Sun stuff, cleaing it up for this site, watching movies like this, even revisiting my old stuff.. and I realized, I am part of this group driven by a need to create.

Not everyone feels this way. Most people are happy with their lives, but I am not, unless I feel I have put some new peice of art or music or film or writing or acting on this world.. but its a bit of a curse.

I would love to be one of those people who are happy with going to work, having a house, some money, some kids, a simple life.. it would be GREAT! But I am driven at 3am to go into my basement and hit the keyboard.. or to spend a summer editing a film. And to be honest, its an addiction.

At one point I thought it was about the attention.. being told how “talented” I am.. but now I find myself just creating stuff and never listening to it again.. or writing stories no one ever reads.. And I’ve realized, its more just this force that moves me to lose sleep, lose time with my family, lose time I could be studying.. and well, hey.. why do we all feel this need to post here.. we need to create.

Maybe its a blessing.. maybe its a curse.. but honestly, I seem driven by this vision of a great great grandson finding a box of pictures and CDs, and listening, and suddenly knowing me as more than just a name and two dates… Is that it? I don’t know.. why do YOU do it?

By the way, if anyone is going to be in the Washington DC area in the next two weeks, I am in a show that opens tonight and runs the next two weekends.

Its a black box performance of a new play called “Symbolic of Love” by Lee Wilkinson.

Please feel free to email me for information, or call 202 333-2202

There is an irony to being an adult, firmly placed in the late twenties – early thirties category. On one hand, you can afford almost any toy you would have wanted as a kid (Playstation, DVDs, Home Theatres), you can go anywhere you please, and you can stay up as late as you want!!

The irony is that you don’t have time to play with your toys, you don’t have time to go anywhere at all, and you end up going to bed earlier than High School because you are desperate for sleep almost all the time..

Let me know, AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO FEELS LIKE THIS??

As you know, I have been particularly absent from our little gang of late. I now spend most of my time in my car, driving between home, work, school, and a play that opens on thursday. While at home, I spend my time scheduling my work days, doing homework, and studying lines… its awful!!

The irony is that I have just added a cool new Cable system and a Playstation 2 to my home theatre.. and I played about 30 minutes of a game that I really want to play more.. and every day i say I’m going to take some time to do it… but every day, I just sink into the couch at the end of the night with my wife, we watch a rerun of “Highlander” and go to sleep.

So, today, once again, I am planning to spend some time playin with my wonderful toys.. and once again, I have already booked the whole day up until 11 tonight.

Grr.. Why do wish our whole lives to be adults, only to become adults and wish we were Kids?

Writing today on Saturday because I will be indisposed for the next couple days.. and because I just couldn’t sit on this another day.

As a Christian and an American, I would like to distance myself from the likes of the FCC this last month or two.. specifically as pertaining to Radio.

What exactly do I mean? Well, Howard Stern said this week that after 20 years, he is going to be forced from the air in the next week or two.. and he outlined a group of Senators, all who live together in a faith based housing project, who are strongarming Infinity broadcasting to get Howard off the air.

Now, many of you don’t like Howard.. and I understand why.. he’s crass, he’s often sexist, he can be gross, and when he is, I turn him off.. but isn’t that my right?

Somewhere, this needs to stop.

EDIT by matthew: Check out the follow-up to this story, by Sammy G.