Author: Timpane

Okay.. it looks like no one sees movies as much as I do..I am a loser with no life.

SO.. here’s what I want to know.. what are your “MOLDY OSCARS” for the year. As suggested by Matt, What are your top pics for movies you’ve seen this year – even if they are on DVD, or if they are really old. Just that you’ve seen them this year. Only rule: They are not nominated for oscars.

Mine: Best picture: LOTR: The Two Towers Special Edition. WOW BEST Director: Peter Jackson, Same. Best Actor: Bruce Campbell, Bubba Ho-Tep Best Actress: Famke Jennsen x2, Xmen United Best Supporting Actress: Carrie Fisher, Empire Strikes back.. I still watch it, it still rules. Best Supporting Actor: Marc Alaimo on Deep Space Nine (Dukat) – I know its not a movie, but I spent a year watching it, and he was great. Honorabel Mention: FREDDY VS JASON!! In every category.

Okay, all.. let’s post our oscar picks. Who do you think will win.. and who would you like to win! Whoever is closest gets an official Barnson.org “NOTHING AWARD”. It is an award with no value whatsoever except our amazement at how close you came.. that being said.. I am hoping it will be me, since I am posting on oscar day, and because I really want a “NOTHING PRIZE”.

Here are the nominees.. Best Picture LORD OF THE RINGS: RETURN OF THE KING LOST IN TRANSLATION MASTER & COMMANDER: THE FAR SIDE OF THE WORLD MYSTIC RIVER SEABISCUIT

Achievement in Directing Fernando Meirelles for CITY OF GOD Peter Jackson for THE LORD OF THE RINGS Peter Weir for MASTER & COMMANDER Sofia Coppola for LOST IN TRANSLATION Clint Eastwood for MYSTIC RIVER

Best Actor in a Leading Role Johnny Depp in PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN Ben Kingsley in HOUSE OF SAND AND FOG Jude Law in COLD MOUNTAIN Bill Murray in LOST IN TRANSLATION Sean Penn in MYSTIC RIVER

Best Supporting Actor Alec Baldwin in THE COOLER Benicio Del Toro in 21 GRAMS Djimon Hounsou in IN AMERICA Tim Robbins in MYSTIC RIVER Ken Watanabe in THE LAST SAMURAI

Best Actress in a Leading Role Keisha Castle-Hughes in WHALE RIDER Diane Keaton in SOMETHING’S GOTTA GIVE Samantha Morton in IN AMERICA Charlize Theron in MONSTER Naomi Watts in 21 GRAMS

Best Supporting Actress Shohreh Aghdashloo in HOUSE OF SAND & FOG Patricia Clarkson in PIECES OF APRIL Marcia Gay Harden in MYSTIC RIVER Holly Hunter in THIRTEEN Renee Zellweger in COLD MOUNTAIN

Best Original Screenplay THE BARBARIAN INVASIONS DIRTY PRETTY THINGS FINDING NEMO IN AMERICA LOST IN TRANSLATION

Best Adapted Screenplay AMERICAN SPLENDOR CITY OF GOD THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING MYSTIC RIVER SEABISCUIT

If you don’t have oscar picks.. or if you are reading this after Sunday.. what DID you want to win. (Or if you haven’t seen these.. what ones did you like this year.. even on video.)

Here I go: BEST PIC: It will Be LOTR I want LOTR

BEST DIRECTOR: PETER JACKSON I wans Peter Jackson

BEST ACTOR: Sean Penn I want Johnny Depp

SUPPORTING ACTOR: Tim Robbins I want Ken Watanbe

BEST ACTRESS: Charlize Theron I haven’t seen these movies.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS: Renee Zelwegger I havent seen these either

ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY: Lost in Translation I want Lost in translation

ADAPTED SCREENPLAY: Mystic River I want LOTR

Okay.. That is the end of the ones contested (the ones most people care about).. here are the rest I care about..

Best Original Score LOTR I want LOTR

Animated Feature: Finding Nemo I want Finding Nemo

Original Song “Into the West” – THE LORD OF THE RINGS That is what I want

Cinematography LOTR I want LOTR (I would love Lance Acord for Lost in Translation, but he’s not nominated – Still. loved those shots of Japan, and the use of handheld stedicam photography in a sweeping way..)

Sound Editing MASTER & COMMANDER I want PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN

Best Visual Effects I think that Pirates might dominate here.. PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN I still loved LOTR, but I’m torn on what I want.

Okay.. go to town!!

Let’s get the big ones out of the way.

Is the movie all the positive reviews say it is.. the best ever made.. or even better than Braveheart? As a film, no. As a matter of fact, it is a film with flaws, it makes a couple odd decisions, and has at least one shot that I considered out there.

Okay, then, is it as bad as the negative reviews have said.. Boring, Fetishist, or just plain Bad? By no means. As a film, it is quite good – on about the level of “The Patriot” or “Amistad”.. but not quite “Schindler’s List” or “Braveheart”. As a film, it is comparable to “Return of the King” in that it makes some mistakes, overkills some moments, but is still tear rendering in parts, and in its entirity, equals more than the sum of its parts.

Okay then again.. Is the Film Anti Semetic? No.. but if I were Jewish, and looking for it, I would notice that Caphius, the Jewish High Priest, and the Crowd of his supporters, are really given the Black hat in this film. They are villians in the movie.. almost Mustache twirling, while Pilate is let off easy. That being said, every hero in the film is Jewish, the Roman Guards are the most brutal, and the only character in the film called “Jew” to his face, is a non-follower of Jesus who willingly puts his life on the line to try to save Christ. The movie is true to the Gospels, and does leave out some inflammatory moments, in order to be more friendly.

Is the film too Violent? No, but it is QUITE violent, in three points.. and, of course, Christ is bloody most of the film. That being said, Gibson pulls away a LOT, gives us a LOT of breaks, a LOT of out of focus shots and reaction shots. It is very like the scene where William Wallace is tortured in “Braveheart”, but three times, with a bit more blood. It doesn’t compare to “Kill Bill”, “Natural Born Killers”, “Freddy Vs. Jason”, or any of those. It is not for the squeamish, but it is an appropriate level of violence for a Rated R film.

Well, then, Justin, what DID you think, in your own words… AS A MOVIE: Well shot, well acted, well scored, well edited, well written film that makes mistakes, and runs the risk of alienating a Jewish audience. A Brilliant performance by Jim Caveziel as Jesus, and Notable performances by Mary, Satan, and Mary Magdelene. Much like watching Frodo bounce on the bed in “Return of the King”, there are oments I wish I could cut out or shorten, not because of brutality, but because they don’t belong or they are redundant.

3 and a Half Stars

PERSONALLY: I don’t think Gibson was trying to make a great movie.. and that is important. This is supposed to be a tool to slap complacent Christians a bit.. and say “Guess what.. it wasn’t a little mocking, and up he goes”. This movie made me cry twice (I don’t often really cry in movies), and made me relate to my faith in a closer way than I have in a while. There are things I believe, that I always have, that now, I better understand. It is harder to be complacent now.

As a message, it did more for me than most church services I have attended, and made me reexamine at times.. and at times had very visceral emotional moments for me. I believe that this man was put not put on a cross, but went there willingly, and by doing so, I have benefitted. Once the emotional mountaintop experience leaves (I dont put much stock in that anyway) I will be left with the contemplation, and that will stick with me long after I am done emotionalizing.

I am faced with a real man instead of just an icon, going through real stuff, instead of just ignorable words, that really really sucked to go through.. and he could have chosen not to.. and suddenly it is a LOT less about “hell”, or this whole “God will get you” mentality that gets criticized so often… its about gratitude, end of sermon.

Justin, WHO will like “Passion of the Christ” most believers will. most people on the fence will. Fans of artsy cinema will. Gibson (as a director) fans will. People with strong stomachs exploring Christianity will.

WHO WONT? Many Jews, Many atheists, People who have hosility toward Christianity and if you have a kid under 14, keep them away. People unaccustomed to violence will be turned off and find it gratuitous.. those who are used to it a bit more will handle it well.

Okay, lads and ladies.. what are your responses..

Today, I had a beverage with our illustrious poster, Sammy G, and his beautiful girlfriend at the Starbucks across the street from our old High School.

It came as a surprise to Mr. G that there was indeed a starbucks there.

You see, when we went to school, there was a crappy pizza place, a wendy’s, a “High’s” convenience store, a McD’s, a CVS, and a Pizza Hut within 2 blocks of the school, on opposite sides of Darnestown road.

Today, there is the same Wendys and McDs, CVS, and pizza hut, as well as a Dunkin Donuts, Starbucks, Subway, Comic Book Store, Sushi, Fuddruckers, Chinese Food, Mexican Food, Papa Johns (where the Crappy Pizza place was), Deli, Bagel Shop, and a host of other stores.

When we were in high school, the new Movie Theatre and Arcade was a building called the Rio. Now that is a whole plaza with RioGrande, 18 movie screens, A 2nd Mex Restaurant, hamburger Hamlet, Target, Borders, Galyans, Pier 1 Imports, Joe’s Crab Shack, Macaroni Grill, Starbucks, Taco bell, and a host of fancy outlet stores.

This can go on and on.. Shopping centers and movie theatres are popping up EVERYwhere here.. (there are literally 4 Multiplexes of over 10 screens within 10 miles of my house… and at least 15 Starbucks).

Frankly, I like it.. yup.. call me nutso.. but its cool for me. I hold little nostalgia of having to drive to Bethesda for decent food.. but there is an environmental and cultural cost.

The Small towns are going away. Frederick, the next burg up in the north, looks much like this now, and there is nary 15 miles of unadulterated highway between us and them. 10 years ago, we were the boondocks and they were a backward town. No longer.

So, Those of you here and there.. what do you think about the Sprawl. I’m divided, to be honest.

Oh, And Sammy looks much trimmer than I would have thought. The years have been kind.

Do you believe in Absolute truth?

In Star Wars, Episode 5: The Empire Strikes Back, Obi Wan Kenobi says, “Many of the truths we cling to depends on our point of view.”

Then again…

The belief in “absolute truth” contends that what is true continues to be true, whether or not you or I believe it is true. My definition of truth falls in this category.

If I hold the point of view that water is not wet, it will not make it so, and it is from this perspective that I see the world. Others could argue that I believe this way because of a complex combination of genetics and upbringing, nature and nurture, and that truth is indeed malleable depending on point of view. This is an argument that has the potential to spiral out of control.

To assert that truth is indeed malleable and not fixed is to make a fixed assertion about truth itself. It does not follow that truth can be malleable because that point of view would have to include the idea that truth could be fixed, which would then, paradoxically negate the argument that truth can be malleable. It can therefore be taken as an axiom that truth is fixed, or rather that there is “absolute truth”.

But then again, what do I know?

That being said, how do you respond to the concept that others may hold vastly different opinions than you on what is right, wrong, true, or untrue?

Nipple ring!! I just always wanted to start a post with that.

Question.. Do you still like popular music? Do you even like the popular music from your teenage years?

Okay, that being said, I must admit I am not watching the Grammy’s tonight. Its not that I don’t like awards shows.. I watch the oscars and golden globes religiously…

Really, its that I have lost my taste for popular music.

I watched the debacle last Sunday on the twilight of my anniversary, and I was bothered before I ever saw Janet’s Ninja Star Clad boobie. Justin Timberlake (with whom I share the first nine letters) doing New Kids dances or dirty dances with Michael’s sister and having her naked by the end of the song.. while Janet’s rhythm nation has become just commonplace and boring..

So, really, I don’t want to watch Beyonce do a Beatles tribute tonight, and I wouldn’t cry any tears if Shania were to suddenly “Feel like a woman (who gave up music)”.

I remember my father hating Martika and Tiffany and The Escape Club, and En Vogue (but I will stand by Cutting Crew till the day I die). I thought he was just old..

But no, I think he was right, all that just seems gummy to me now.. I find myself liking artists with a little more punch and a little less glitter (sorry mariah).. and that extends to today’s artists.. I may be tired of Evanescense, but I still dig that song.. and Eminem gets me worked up when he’s worked up.. and BNL and Ben Folds hit me with advanced (and sometimes absurd) concepts that challenge my mind and my heart just a little more.

What about you?

Today is my wedding anniversary. Seven years. It doesn’t seem like I’m old eneough to be married seven years, but somehow, I have been.

Happily, too. The weird thing is that I have friends who have actually expressed a certain jealousy for how happy we are, but we are. Its really quite cool.

SO.. here it is, TEN RULES FOR BEING A GOOD HUSBAND

1) DONT DO THE OBVIOUS BAD THINGS. This means cheating and hitting. Not even once. Never threaten violence of any kind, and never threaten infidelity.

2) Never go to bed angry. Resolve the matter before you go to sleep.

3) Date night, once a week. Preferably out of the house, but in if it needs to be.

4) Be free with compliments. Look for things to say, and keep track of them in your head. If its been a while, compliment her, and try to make it specific. “You’re pretty” is nice, but you look fantastic in that outfit, or “your hair is great” is even better

5) Establish rules and follow them. For us, screaming, cursing, name calling, or statements like “You always do..” are against the rules. Even if you were right in your point in the argument, if you break a rule, its over and you surrender.

6) Say I’m Sorry. Man this is hard, but it goes a long way. Even for little things, being 5 minutes late.

7) Say thank you, and again, be specific. “Dinner was great” or “Thanks for doing (whatever), I appreciate it”, again goes a really long way.

8) Let her spend some money. You see that stereo and TV and computer? I know we don’t see things like a new outfit or a haircut or new makeup as important, but it might be to her. We’ll never understand a 50 dollar pair of shoes, but then, look at the junk we like to collect.

9) Ask her about her day.. and ask her how specific sagas are going. And listen, take mental notes, and come back to those specifics later.

10) Look for opportunities.. roses, candy, cards. it may all be cliche, but I still get mileage out of the good old 1.99 7-11 rose, or a box of donuts delivered to her work.

And thats all, I could list a hundred more, but the point is that you should love someone. And notice that Love is a verb, not an adjective or noun like other emotions. It is not something you feel, its something you do.

Remember the good old issues of a comic book where a person who was until this point a side character joins the super team? “WELCOME TO THE XMEN, HAVOK.. HOPE YOU SURVIVE!!”

Well, J.J. there are some things you should know, to ensure that survival.

1) Time flies. Don’t waste it. By the time it has been as many years as I have known your daddy.. you will be the age I was when I met your daddy.

2) You’ll never understand women. Stop trying. Look up at mommy and say.. I love you, but I’ll never get you.. and its not fair, because they understand us.

3) Skip the anchovies.. its an acquired taste you don’t need.. its bad for you.. and nobody else likes it. Same goes for cigarettes and black jelly beans.

4) Learn to play an instrument.. it makes you a more well rounded person.. HEY LOOK, ITS ORLANDO BLOOM!!!! (Are all the girls looking the other way? Good.. okay.. learn to play an instrument because chicks love it.)

5) Don’t call girls chicks, they’ll send hate mail.

6) And most importantly, that yellow snow outside is not lemon flavored italian ice.. I’ve tried it and its awful.

I’m sure the others who post here will have great advice too..

Welcome JJ.. its a weird weird world.

I had three distinct things happen to me this week.

One: There was a post on Barnson.org asking me my favorite Cartoon. Two: My wife and I discussed the concept of leaving a Legacy after you die. Three: I organized my comic books.

The first thing brought me back to Spider Man and His Amazing Friends, which featured the X-MEN back in 1981. The third thing made me go through my old Uncanny XMEN issues that were around when I was a toddler, and one or two from before I was born… which brings me to the second one.

It occurred to me that Cyclops and company were around before I was born, and would be after I was dead, and they would be, for the most part, unchanged. (A character named Kitty was 13 in 1979, she’s 19 today.) It is a stark reminder of how life moves on.

My wife and I discussed what (being that we have no children yet, and won’t for at least a few years) we would leave behind for future generations. Now, she had her thoughts (which are hers, so forgive me if I don’t post without her permission) and I had mine..

I have often written and recorded music with the idea that someday a descendent of mine would listen, read lyrics and stories, and see pictures I drew, and get a feel for who I was. Its macabre, but I often think of the world after my death when I write and record.. like Michael Keaton in “My Life”.. I hope someday, someone will listen or read and know more about me than a faded photo or a list of dates.

My grandmother does geneaology.. and she would say the legacies left behind are the people that exist with you as an ancestor, but I would give a lot to read a letter or hear the voice of that person from the past, instead of just knowing their name.

My late great-uncle Matt made a sculpture that I love, because I can see the lines he carved, and be there with him in that moment, imagining his hands carving those lines.

I wonder what of mine people will do the same with, as they reread their old X-Men back issues… I wonder if anyone but me even thinks about these things.

I hope so.

Today, I saw the independent film, “Bubba Ho-Tep” near Chinatown in DC. It stars Bruce Campbell (“Ash” Of Evil Dead/Army of Darkness, and Brisco County Jr. fame) as a 70 year old Elvis (who did not die, but faked his own death) and Ossie Davis as JFK (Who did not die, but is now an 80 year old Black man) fighting against a Soul Sucking Egyptian Mummy in a Nursing Home.

And They Say There’s nothing new in American Cinema.

So, as I sat in the theatre, having a blast watching Elvis vs. the Mummy, I thought to myself, wouldn’t it be wonderful to be one of these Horror icons.. these guys like Bruce Campbell or Robert Englund (Freddy) or Brad Dourif (The Voice of Chucky – and Wormtongue in LOTR) or any of these guys who is known in this community as a STAR, but could walk around in a mall and never be recognized. Tha adulation and the anonymity together with a hefty paycheck and a fun job scaring the heck out of the kiddies.

This comes the day after the wrap party for the Timewarps Films’ new movie “Crawler”, in which I play one of the starring roles.. it too is an independant horror film, but with fewer credentials. At the party, I was chatting with one of the actors who is now making an independent Horror film with the director of my FIRST acting experience in a Horror film, a black and white piece called “Nocturne”… both films are of the same quality as some of these people’s first works. And somewhere inside me, there’s this hope that even if I never make it as a famous actor, someone, somewhere will remember me for my days as an independent Horror actor.. never respected by the Tom Cruises or the Academy, but loved by freaks like myself, who don’t mind a little fear with their Cappuccino.