Barnson.org

I started to think about having kids last weekend. And I realized that the reason for having kids is basically to force them into a career track with high potential for earning a lot of money so that I can retire earlier than I would if the kid had failed in life by ending up a bum like me.

The NFL league minimum is $760,000.

My theory is to cut the umbilical cord, put Sammy G, Jr. behind a tee, and to start kicking field goals. How many kids grow up wanting to be a field goal kicker? Low competition, low injury rate, high pay. Gary Anderson has been in the league for over 20 years, still kicking field goals.

All my kid has to do is start practicing early in life, for at least an hour a day. Who else grows up wanting to be a field goal kicker? This is a position for which no one has to even be in shape. Slim competition to make it to the big leagues if you start them early enough. Walk on the field, kick the ball 50 yards straight, walk off the field, collect paycheck, give half of it to Dad.

What if we started a field goal kicker’s clinic? DUDE. We get Caleb, Joey and G Jr. to start working out at our own summer clinic. Show people the amazing results: here’s how your kid can become a wealthy dynamo and set you on your way to early retirement. What do you need to start a clinic anyway? Field, ball, goal posts, leg machine. Check.

Unless I’m missing other high wealth careers that would be easier to get kids into?

Get In Groove, Sammy G

Note: The articles linked below do not necessarily reflect my opinions, but they presented some interesting statistics for me to contemplate. If you, dear reader, regard the Bible as the moral basis of Western civilization, you may strongly disagree with the positions presented in the articles to which I’ve linked (and, in fact, may be offended at their content). However, I’d encourage you to correct inaccuracies if they exist, rather than shoot the messenger 🙂

I came across an interesting statistic regarding the numbers of various religious types in prison, and this statistic contrasted with the likelihood of an atheist being incarcerated.

The article suggests than an atheist is forty times less likely to be incarcerated than a Christian, but caveats:

We should not read too much into this large number, however, since it is influenced by many factors. One consideration is that atheism is positively correlated to such things as educational attainment, higher scores on intelligence and achievement tests, and higher income, while crime is negatively correlated with these things.

A follow-up article also shows how the statistic was derived:

The number 40 was calculated from the following data: 1) atheists make up 0.209% of the US prison population, and 2) atheists make up 8-16% of the general US population. (The referenced Holysmoke article did not say why there was such a large range for the percentage of atheists in the general population, but it probably has to do with how the question was asked. A survey that asks “Are you an atheist?” will give very different results from a survey that asks “Do you believe in a conscious being that created the universe and that listens to our prayers?”)

Using the lower figure of 8%, the fraction of atheists that are in prison is (0.00209 N)/(0.08 M), where N is the number of prisoners and M is the number of people in the general population. Similarly, the fraction of theists that are in prison is ((1-0.00209) N)/((1-0.08) M). The desired result is the ratio of these numbers, which is about 42. If we had used the mean value of 12% for the percentage of atheists in the general population, we would have found that theists are about 65 times more likely than atheists to end up in prison.

Do you think this relationship is just chance, a misreading of statistics, or possibly a misrepresentation? Or, could it be that education, intelligence, and higher income are a more sure indication of avoidance of a life of crime than any other factors — including religion?

Nancy Reagan is a famous and respected First Lady, who popularized the phrase “Just Say No” in speeches, television and radio commercials, and individual meetings with teenagers across the US. These days, the phrase has become a cliche, used for campaigns against Microsoft, environmental waste, and pretty much anything a group wants people to boycott. Prominent politicians in the US, and particularly in my state of Utah, are echoing this refrain in campaigns to focus on abstinence, rather than “safe sex”, in sex education in public schools across the nation.

A Swedish aid organization, attempting to quell that country’s rising incidence of sexually transmitted diseases and teen pregnancy, has begun a campaign to distribute condoms cheaply, directly to the doors of amorous couples this summer. That’s right: a large van, replete with a giant condom-with-wings logo painted on the side, will drive to doorsteps on request to deliver prophylactics between 4 and 9 PM.

Do you think this has a chance of stemming the rise of STD’s and preventing teen preganancy in the three major cities where vans will be operating, or will the shame of having a large condom-decorated vehicle arrive at one’s house prevent usage of the service? Think it will have the intended effect, or be ignored?

On this Memorial Day, I remember those soldiers who have fallen in the service of our nation, and in defense of freedom. Those who do not remember history are doomed to repeat it; it is by remembering the sacrifices of our ancestors that we avoid the individual and collective mistakes which led to their sacrifices.

But a human being does not normally die without a fight. We cling to life tenaciously. Even in great pain and sorry, most of us fight to live, breathe, and remain "me".

In celebration of that spirit, I present Dylan Thomas’ “Do Not Go Gentle into That Good Night”. Those of you who remember the movie, “Independence Day”, will remember the President echoing these same words:

Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height, Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray. Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Well, usually it is Matt who talks tech, or Sam or Ben who talks music..

But I am having such a blast discovering the many uses for soundfonts.

Basically, a soundfont is a collection of sounds, either recorded or synthesized, placed into a font – like a letter font for word processing. The difference here is that the keyboard used is a musical one.. Ostensibly, what this means is that a guy can record his piano – so that when you hit middle C your computer plays the sound of his piano hitting middle C, make it as detailed as he wants.

It took me a while to get the hang of this.. but I’ve found real live sounding drum recordings, perfect pianos.. and other great stuff.. and a lot of it is free homemade stuff by music enthusiasts. It is going, I think, to revolutionize the way I do music.

I remember Sam’s (I think) M1, or the HS’s Ensoniq SQ80, and both of those are pretty easy to find, every sound.. for free. Its pretty darned cool.

I do think its funny how it took this long, with this much technology for me to finally be able to make music that doesn’t sound like I’m using a lot of technology.

Ironic, dontcha think?

So, as I exercised this morning, I thought about this question:

Where do I see myself ten years from now?

This is a question teachers, parents, and mentors asked me a lot when I was in high school. I had no answer, really, other than maybe “rock star” or “congressman”. But I decided to draw up a laundry list of where I want to see myself in ten years. What’s yours?

1. Career:
   • A leader in the field of systems administration and Internet data security, probably not making money hand-over-fist, but providing a stable, upper-middle-class income.
   • Making a few percentage points more in salary than I do now
   • Carrying a Bachelor’s degree in Computer Science, with a music theory & composition minor
   • Carrying a Master’s degree, not sure what in yet (Hey, I haven’t decided what I want to be when I grow up!)
   • Having a small, but successful portfolio of music that I sell for commercial usage
   • Produce at least two or three CDs full of music for family, friend, and modest commercial (preferably with an indy publisher) release.
2. Personal:
   • Fit and trim, in better shape than I was when I was twenty (which won’t be hard, I’m in better shape now than when I was twenty; at twenty, I was 220 lbs and totally out-of-shape on a mission in California)
   • Self-educated to the point that I can carry on an intelligent conversation with at least modest familiarity with the subject matter on nearly any topic
   • Improved singing voice, with a range expanded at least slightly larger than it is today, with better resonance. I think vibrato is permanently out of the cards for my voice, though 🙂
   • Be able to program fluently in C, C++, Python, Perl, Bash, and Lisp
3. Family:
   • By this time, Sara will be on her way to college. I hope to have a modest nest egg to contribute towards her education, but we will expect her, and our other children, to pay their own way in college or achieve scholarships if they wish for higher education.
   • Have improved our little home to be a beautiful piece of paradise. Small, but functional, homey, and elegant.
   • Be more in love with my wife than ever before.
   • Be out of debt, or as close to it (sans mortgage, probably) as possible.

I reserve the right to adjust my list at any time in the next ten years 🙂 But it might be useful to look back on this blog ten years from now and see where I am versus where I thought I’d be…