Barnson.org

“Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them?” –Abraham Lincoln

I read Pete’s most recent blog entry over at Fiddley Gomme and found myself wondering: what is the transportation security administration’s policy regarding alcohol on-board airlines? Well, a little Googling and I found this little tidbit:

With the exception of medications, any amount of liquid including alcohol greater than three ounces must be packed in your checked baggage.

Liquids, including alcohol purchased after clearing the security checkpoint are permitted aboard aircraft.

Yeah. No liquids. So that means that the bottle of water that I carried with me last year when I flew is no longer allowed to be carried onto the aircraft or even make it through a security checkpoint. And with the advent of the “no locked bags” policy (except for patented, TSA-approved locks which can be opened with a commonly-available master key, this means baggage handlers are free to rummage through your luggage and take any alcohol or other valuables you happen to be carrying in your bags.

I understand the need for air safety. Really, I do. However, the Post-911 world of air travel sucks. Buy a one-way ticket, get a mandatory trouser-free, shoes-off screening. Have your baby’s breast milk get examined for explosives. Lose your bottle of Southern Comfort to an impound, never to be returned.

I think the solution is to fly naked.

So for the first time in my life, my stock options vested. Yep, I got a (small) payout by cashing out some stock options I was granted when I was hired a few years ago. I also purchased some stock via my company’s stock purchase plan and sold it.

Now, my company does all this stuff through E-Trade. That seems fine, and the transaction was straightforward. But oh, my lands, the fees! Fees for the trade. Fees for the transfer into my E-Trade cash account. Fees for the completion of the sale. A fee to withdraw the money from my account.

I did the math. With my employee stock purchase plan, due to all the fees, I actually LOSE MONEY investing in my company unless there’s a substantial stock gain between vestment and sale. The options are basically free money, so “yay!”, but losing money because I invested it is just not something that I wanted to do.

There are a couple ways to solve the problem. If I doubled my ESPP contribution, I’d make some money. A little, but some. If I eliminated it entirely, I’d save all the fee money, but eliminate a regular disbursement — a kind of “forced savings” — that I like because it gives us infusions of cash while we budget for a lower amount.

Decisions, decisions. Regardless, E-Trade charges too many fees for my liking.

Some months ago, they installed a television screen in the tactical operations center in which I work. Luckily, my cube faces away from the screen, because as most of you know (thanks Jon fo the term!) I’m ADOSS — Attention Deficit Ooh! Something Shiny! The closed-captioning is turned on and the volume is off.

The only advantage I see to the all-news channels is that you can tune in any time of day, watch for thirty minutes to catch up, and then be done and do something else. When it’s playing for eight hours a day, you see the same story at least sixteen times every day unless something exciting happens.

And if something exciting happens… that’s all that’s on for those eight hours.

How inane.

I may do a real post on this one day.. but as we all know there is a writers strike in Hollywood. I saw THIS posted on Aintitcool..

If the writers are on strike.. who’s writing all the phrases on the picket signs?

HAHAHAHA

I know it’s old news for a lot of people, but I was listening to the news this morning and heard the word “terrorist” or “terrorism” no fewer than ten times in one three-minute segment.

I’m sick of that word. In that vein, I bring to you today, William Shunn, the Accidental Terrorist.

(Warning: a very long read, if you’re at work, save it until you’re home. It’s tremendously entertaining and funny, though, and an interesting insight into the pressures on LDS missionaries…)

Heh.. look at that bottle or Pantene 2 in 1. It says on the front in BIG PURPLE LETTERS: “Up to 50% more Volume! *”.

But then look at the back in small tiney gray letters.. “* When comparing Pantene 2 in 1 use with mousse and Pantene 2 in 1 without Mousse”

Wait a sec.. Did they just say that, essentially.. the 50% more volume has nothing to do with the Shampoo? They just said the shampoo, when used with mousse has 50% more volume than when used without the Mousse. ISN’T THAT ALWAYS TRUE??! THAT’S THE POINT OF MOUSSE!!

Or at least I hope so. There is a writer’s strike either on or about to be.. so it may be delayed.. But Fox has Greenlighted “DOLLHOUSE”, starring Eliza Dushku (Faith).

Essentially, she is a blank slate, owned by an organization that rents her out to the highest bidder, able to be imprinted with whatever it is she needs. If she is hired to be your lover, then she is completely devoted to you alone, if she is an assassin, she is deadly, and inbetween, she forgets it all.

At least she’s supposed to – but when she starts remembering, drama ensues.

Joss has a SEVEN episode commitment based solely on the idea, and it may become more, so here’s hoping.

(Still waiting for “Ripper” info.. c’mon BBC!!)

Hey there Mr. Barnson,

Quick question, if you have the time. I’m managing a web site for my family’s church that runs on either Drupal or Civicspace. It’s completely member locked, so currently when someone goes there they see an Access Denied message in the body of the site before they log in.

I’m trying to change the “Access Denied” message to something more user friendly, and I’m guessing it has to be done at the file level, since I can’t seem to find anyway to change it using the ‘administer’ section of the site itself.

When I hit View Source on that main page, the code appears to be just an html page. It looks like the Drupal engine calls up some html code to display in the main page’s body. However, there are no html files in the directory on the server where this Drupal site is installed. Would the html code be in one of the .mysql files?

Thanks much, Arthur

We have an interesting little tradition in Utah. Periodically, the Utah Education Association has a conference of some sort, and the kids get a week off from school. There is no holiday associated with it… there’s just a six-day vacation, usually in October.

This year, we planned on going to Seattle for UEA weekend, but obviously had to change our plans due to shifting circumstances. The break from the usual routine really heightens tensions between children in the family. I vaguely remember such vacations as a child being long stretches of boredom after the first day of shouting “Freedom! Freedom!” with joy from the rooftop.

It’s funny how oftentimes getting the thing you want — a break from school, for instance — turns out to be the worst thing for you. I can think of other examples, too, but for some reason I can’t shut off that tiny little part of my brain which refuses to listen to logic when I tell it that I’ll never win the lottery.