Month: September 2006

So I received one of the regular light-bulb joke routines in my inbox. I thought a few of these were clever, so here they are!

CHANGING A LIGHT BULB THE CHRISTIAN WAY How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Charismatic: Only 1 Hands are already in the air.

Pentecostal: 10 One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

Presbyterians: None Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

Roman Catholic: None Candles only.

Baptists : At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken

Episcopalians: 3 One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.

Mormons: 5 One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it. Unitarian We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

Methodists: Undetermined Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Bring a bulb of your choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass.

Nazarene : 6 One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.

Lutherans: None Lutherans don’t believe in change.

Jewish Grandmothers: 0 It’s all right, I’ll just sit in the dark and suffer!!

Amish: What light bulb?

The Creation as an Infocom Game.

What. You think when I post a link as the first line, there’s actually useful content afterwards on that “read more” link?

Okay, so I’m selling my Pacifica. You can all look at it on eBay here:

I get a message from an eBay member like this:

Please forward me your number. I would like to make an offer and buy your car. I AM VERY INTERESTED IN BUYING IT AND AM A SERIOUS BUYER. I live in New York. I have no problems driving up to Maryland on Saturday with Cash. Please forward a phone number so I can talk to you directly or just call my number 917 XXX-XXXX

Thank You, Ilya

Hope to hear from you soon.

He’s only got a 3 rating from eBay, and all his purchases are over a year old. But, at least he spells okay and the grammar is good. He capitalized Cash, and that throws a red flag to me.

So……should I call him? Call him from a place that’s not my home? Tell him to go through eBay? Whaddya think?

My gut tells me it’s shady, but what can calling him hurt?

My $.02 Weed

I can’t believe the Croc Hunter’s gone.

This depresses me more than I might have expected.

Remember how you felt disappointed by the lightsaber fights in episode 3? It was almost like any kid could have done better than that, right?

Well.. yes. AMAZING. Click here for 2 KIDS with LIGHTSABERS

Tonight, on the way into work, I was flipping through the stations on my XM Radio…

• Highway 16… naw, I don’t want to do country tonight.
• Mix… Too homogenic for my tastes tonight. It’s just… bland pop music.
• Seventies on Seven? Meh… It was Led Zeppelin, again, followed by some Rush and CCR. I mean, I like that stuff, but it didn’t reach out and grab me.
• Well, maybe it’s a talk radio night? America Left, America Right. No politics, just car shows and this dumb music show…

Waiddasecind.

Who’s this Dean Martin guy they’re talking about?

Huh. He’s got a dang fine voice. When’s that music from? 1946? Huh.

(thumbs on radio, ignoring traffic around me for a second)

“Forties on Four”.

Holy crap! That’s some butt-kicking Big Band music! Wow! That’s really good!

So here I sit, a few hours later, STILL listening to the Forties on Four. Man. That’s real music. These aren’t just golden oldies, these are MOLDY OLDIES. Right now, it’s barbershop… actually, it’s not forties, but it’s Acoustix singing songs from the forties.

I feel decidedly strange, but, oddly musically satisfied.

The people in the parking lot at Wal-Mart sure looked at me strangely as my butt-kickin’ sound system blasted big band music. And you thought rap had deep bass.