Author: weed

So I thought you were supposed to get your wife a present on Mother’s Day, not the other way around. Note the following conversation that occurred Sunday afternoon. My nephew and his wife brought their Wii to the Madre’s Day celebration, which made Weed Version 2.1 and 2.2 happy.

Note: WAG = Weed’s Amazing Goddess

WAG: I was thinking we should get a Wii. Weed (secretly happy but playing it straight): I was thinking that too, since Caleb likes it so much. We’ll get him one for his birthday in September. WAG: I was actually thinking we should get it before we go on vacation in July. Weed (quite ecstatic now but still keeping the game-face on): OK, if you want. WAG: You should probably start looking now so we have it by then Weed (in a delirium of joy but somehow not showing it): Uhm, if you think we should.

This is same man who secretly teared up when his son cried because he couldn’t play his cousin’s GameBoy, because I understood. Our generation (I’m (PI * 10) + 3) was the first to grow up with a joystick in our hands that wasn’t given to us by Mother Nature.

And now, I’m buying my son his first video game system. Really, it’s for him. 🙂

My two thoughts are A) How much I will damage my son’s chances with women by buying this instead of making him pitch baseballs left-handed for hours at a time and B) Does my wife comprehend what she’s unleashed? She’s locked the alcoholic in the Coors refinery after-hours. She’s stuffed $10K in the gambler’s pockets and left him at the Borgata. She bought the sexaholic baby oil and an access pass to MrSkin.com.

In other words, I love her to death. She’s the greatest.

My $.02 Weed

I arrived at what may seem like an obvious conclusion to you, but made me stop and go “Whoa!” (a la Keanu/Neo):

My problem, and I think one of the majot problems with the Christian religions today is that they are forced to base their whole belief system on a flawed foundation.

Namely, the Bible.

I’m not saying the Bible, which includes slavery, sexism, misogyny, violence, mysticism, repressive sexual mores, and homophobic content, is a bad thing to base a religion on. Really, I’m not 😉

Science has made a lot of the Bible look foolish, and the ideals in a lot of the Bible are extremely out-of-touch with modern life. Some bemoan that fact, but I don’t think we need to re-embrace slavery anytime soon, nor death by stoning. There are parts of the Bible which are extremely apropos to modern life, especially my favorite part, “Love your neighbor as you love yourself.”

Now, all the usual caveats apply, not all Christian religions are the same, not everyone who practices Christianity takes the Bible at face value, etc, etc. By my point is this:

Wouldn’t Christianity be wise to review the 2000 year old document and come up with something that makes a lot more sense for today? No meat on Friday? Sexist roles? And the values about sex drive me crazy, because all that does is use one of the strongest drives and desires we have against us in order to control us.

I would be much more likely to consider a religion which wasn’t 2000 years out of date, but that’s just me.

My $.02 Weed

Head on over to www.verizonmath.com and find out the difference between .002 cents and .002 dollars.

Canadian, of course

My $.02 Weed

Now I know everyone on this page will think this woman is either a loon or a misguided soul, but Laura Mallory is trying to remove Harry Potter from the classroom because it promotes Wicca and other non-Christian things. To quote:

Today’s generation faces evil like no other in history with the bombardment of violent, sexual and occult images of our modern mass media. I think perhaps we are so desensitized, we couldn’t recognize it even if on the plate in front of us. This case addresses only one facet of that evil, being spoon-fed to our children, even in the public schools. With the deceptive, exciting, children-friendly packaging of witchcraft in the Harry Potter series, our youth today view witchcraft not only as good and fun, but harmless fantasy. I’d like to clear up some misconceptions about the case and then just share my heart for a minute.

I disagree with her on two points: 1) Our generation is NOT facing evil like no other. Jews in Europe in the 1930s and 1940 faced evil like no other. It’s just another example of the hyperbole being fed to us to convince us we need help from something.

2) Even if we were living in the most evil times, Harry Potter is not the problem. Parents who don’t take active roles in their children’s lives, or who attempt to prevent their children from discovering life for themselves, they are the main culprits in our children’s demise. Harry Potter has as much to do with children converting to Wicca as Huck Finn did to promote slavery.

Oh, and by the way: Mallory hasn’t read the books yet

My $.02 Weed

All,

Matt, forgive me. I know this is a kid friendly site, so please tell your kids not to watch this unless you say it’s okay. I’m willing to risk Barnsonian wrath because this is that funny:

http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/uncensored.shtml

Whoda thunk Justin Timberlake had such a great sense of humor?

My $.02 Weed

Weed Version 2 Release 3 was made available to the public today at 10:44 AM. The release weighed in at 6lb 7oz and was 17″ long. He is doing wonderfully, as is his main programmer and power supply. Weed Version 2 Release 1, which has been available for over 4 years now, is ecstatic about this current release and wants to interface with him all the time. Weed Version 2 Release 2, out for the past 2 years, could not care less, as he’s got sofas to climb and messes to make!

Attached are pictures of the new release. Note the advanced features he already comes equipped with!

My $.02 Weed Version 1

Soooo I heard some interesting banter yesterday on talk radio. The slightly right-wing host (‘slightly’ as in Shag is slightly tall) was discussing the topic of Maryland’s courts hearing testimony on the constitutionality of restricting marriage to a man and a woman. He had a guest come on who has written a book about marriage and the new American caste system (http://www.city-journal.org/printable.php?id=1921). The synopsis is that in the past three decades, women who go to college have followed the traditional “woman meets man, women marries man, they have baby” scenario in life, while women who don’t go to college more often have babies out of wedlock. As you can probably predict, the college-educated women who marry are better off than their single-mother counterparts.

The host kept trying to turn this into an argument against same-sex marriage, but the guest kept resisting it. And I agreed. Same sex unions who raised kids would presumably be better off and give their children better iving conditions just like their traditional counterparts. It’s not the fact that they’re man and woman, it’s the fact of having two adults pooling their resources to raise a child.

Then I wondered: Why do married couples get a tax break anyway? Perhaps in the past once marriage came, there would be a purchase of a house, and therein a need for a tax break. But we get tax breaks on mortgage interest anyway. So…why not do away with the tax break for marriages, create a civil union status for non-standard couples, and then give more tax breaks for those raising children. Because face it: the drain on your pocket when you get married in negligible compared to the drain on your pocket once you reproduce.

So allow same-sex unions, but don’t get any tax benefits to them (or married couples either). Just give the benefits to those raising children (married and civil parents alike). Because in the end, the purpose of life is to propagate the species. Otherwise, why do I have all those nerve endings in the reproduction areas?

My $.02 Weed

Mormonism, kidnapping, everything that makes a great Barnson.org read:

No wedding for you!

My $.02 Weed

• If two hermaphrodites marry, are they able to do their taxes “Married Filing Jointly”?
• If God is omniscient and omnipotent (meaning knows-all and all-powerful), how can free will exist? We’re all part of his plan, so he must already know what we’re going to do. And since he made us all, we’re only doing what he made us to do? So how can I be blamed if I’m only becoming what God made me? Basically, how can free will co-exist with an all-powerful God?
• We need a third political party with clout, line-item veto in the white house, loser-pays tort reform with damage caps, legalized drugs and prostitution, and parental liability for their children’s actions, in my humble opinion and no particular order.
• Life is a sexually-transmitted disease which is 100% fatal.
• True Story: Family Feud, head-to-head buzzer part. Question is: What is the worst thing you’ve left upon the top of your car when you’ve driven away? First person answers: my drink. That’s the #2 answer, so the other team can steal. Second guy answers: MY CAR KEYS
• Oil is mined from far-away countries, from deep in the earth, put into barrels, shipped across oceans, refined into gasoline, then shipped across the country to your gas station, where you pay $2.25 a gallon for it. Contrast this price per gallon to milk and water, which is much easier to obtain.
• When you look at the exploits of Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake, and Christina Aguilera, could you possibly be a good parent and let your kids ever be in TV for Disney? Who will fall next: Amanda Bynes, Raven, or Hannah Montana? And I feel like a dirty old man for even typing this.
• First kid: Congratulations!!! Your life is gonna change. Second kid: Congratulations!!! Now it gets hard. Third kid: It’s a tie between a) Was this planned? or b) Are you crazy? Here comes the zone defense
• For the 4,756,443th time last night, Thomas was able to warn the signalman to change the points and save the new station from the runaway trucks, Swiper was prevented from swiping, Jeff fell asleep, Lofty thinks they can fix it, Larry reminded Bob he has no hands, and no I didn’t watch Heroes Or the Office last night thank you very much!
• Of the 4 major pro sports, only one team who led their league in payroll has won the championship during the past 5 years: the 2001-2002 Detroit Red Wings. Money can’t buy you love or championships, it seems.

My $.02 Weed

Is it possible for barnson.org to have a RSS feed? My new Yahoo Mail Beta only supports RSS, not XML feeds.

Just asking Weed