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It is amazing to me that each of our children has such different personalities. For example, our 3rd child will turn two this Friday. Matt and I were discussing little Elijah’s habits just yesterday and came to the conclusion that he is obsessive compulsive. After he leaves his bedroom, he shuts his door. Then he shuts my door on his way past it. Any bag near the exit of our home, must be hung on the doorknob. If I move it again, he will rehang it as soon as he notices. He loves to wash his hands.

Okay, so this is fine, but the obsessive part is more an obsession of water. Despite that he likes things neat and organized, he loves the sound of water hitting the floor. Luckily this means he’s in the kitchen or a bathroom for most of his water time. When the water faucet comes on in the bathroom, we run to see if it’s Eli, or an older child. If there’s a cup left sitting around, he will pour it.

So we have a two gallon water filter in the kitchen sitting on the counter available for us to drink freely. It has helped me not to have to help the older kids get a drink every time they’re thirsty. They can help themselves. Well, Eli grew two weeks ago and can now reach the spout. So we pushed the filter to the back of the counter. He will open the dishwasher, and push the spout down. Or he’ll move a chair to get to it. It doesn’t matter that he’s already been swatted on the bum twice and put in time out both times today, he wants to hear the sound of water hitting the floor.

Just when I think it’s safe and everything is out of reach of our little long arms of the west, he finds a squirt bottle.

So the terrible two’s have officially begun…….

From time to time, I do a little shopping online. I actually prefer to purchase my consumer electronics this way, because I’ve generally found the price and selection far superior to what I can get at my local CompUSA. Then again, return policies are often a pain when hunting online for stuff (but, apparently, CompUSA has problems with returns as well.).

Anyway, while rummaging around the gigantic dustbin that is eBay looking at G4 iBooks and PowerBooks, I ran across a listing of “Powerbook for $150”. I thought that looked intriguing, until I read it and realized it was the same scam all over again:

THIS AUCTION IS FOR INFORMATION ONLY NOT THE ACTUAL COMPUTER!!!

This auction is for a link to a website where Apple Powerbook G4 are offered for the incredible price of $150.00. The items are brand new, never used, not refurbished or anything like that. All it takes is a little patience.

I finally decided over this weekend to get to the bottom of these “info” eBay postings. After too much research, time spent online, time spent verifying stories, I can boil down the reality for you in three words:

It’s a scam.

OK, yeah, wiser heads than me could have figured out right from the get-go that you’re not going to get a $1500 computer for $150. But I finally figured out how this scam works — and the people get you both coming and going on this one. You pay them X dollars for “information” on how to get a free PowerBook. Then they rope you into the “program”.

What’s the “program”? Well, they’ll call it “network marketing”, or “matrixing”, or “the grid”, or any of a number of terms to make you think it’s anything but what it actually is.

The scheme goes something like this: For $150, you buy yourself a “position” in “the matrix”. You sign up X number of people under you, and they sign up X number of people under them, and if you’re patient and work at building a downline, eventually you’ll be shipped a brand-new Apple PowerBook. Seems like a sweet deal, doesn’t it?

Well, unfortunately, these schemes are only quasi-legal, and normally cease to exist the moment there’s a lawsuit. And, as millions of Amway (*cough*, ahem, excuse me, “Quixtar”, billing itself as an “e-commerce company”) former resellers can attest, such schemes are the road to ruin for most of their proponents.

I got sicker and sicker the more I realized that I’d heard this same story over and over again. I respect “direct sales”-oriented MLM’s. The Pampered Chef. Home Interiors. Even, (ahem: link for adult couples only) Slumber Party. These are companies with some network marketing aspect, but the main goal is that you make your money selling the product. I can respect that. But organizations where the main goal is to recruit more people is just abusive. And they contaminate the relationships people value most: friends, colleagues, people at church.

In my opinion, the only ones getting the “free Powerbooks” from eBay “Info” postings are the con artists doing the postings, who are also probably using it to fill their downline. And the average person gets sidelined by these rapscallions, buying into a “something-for-nothing” dream… and gets the shaft.

Friends don’t let friends drive pyramid schemes.

Writing today on Saturday because I will be indisposed for the next couple days.. and because I just couldn’t sit on this another day.

As a Christian and an American, I would like to distance myself from the likes of the FCC this last month or two.. specifically as pertaining to Radio.

What exactly do I mean? Well, Howard Stern said this week that after 20 years, he is going to be forced from the air in the next week or two.. and he outlined a group of Senators, all who live together in a faith based housing project, who are strongarming Infinity broadcasting to get Howard off the air.

Now, many of you don’t like Howard.. and I understand why.. he’s crass, he’s often sexist, he can be gross, and when he is, I turn him off.. but isn’t that my right?

Somewhere, this needs to stop.

EDIT by matthew: Check out the follow-up to this story, by Sammy G.

“I love you,” I said to him. He climbed into my lap, took my face in his soft hands and he whispered, “I love you, too.” Then he leaned in and kissed me softly on the lips. What a romantic he’ll be. A heart breaker, too. And to think, he’s not yet two.

It just goes to show how much kids learn by example. Each day when my dear Matt comes home from work, he carresses me in his arms and gives me a tender kiss. Little Eli is always right there waiting for his turn to get a hug from his daddy and sees that his daddy loves his mommy.

Thanks honey, for all your love.

So today, for the first time, I received spam on my mobile phone. That’s right, I got spammed to my phone! And the worst part is, that I don’t have much of a leg to stand on trying to defend myself from it. It was obvious that it was tailored for SMS. The email was very short, contained no HTML or anything else.

Not like I’m going to scream “the sky is falling”, but if I got as much spam to my mobile phone email address as I do to my personal inbox, I’d be inundated and the notifications I use for business reasons would be useless since I’d tend to disregard my SMS notifications. I wonder if Sprint has something set up to “only allow SMS messages from foo” or something. Considering that they underplay SMS on their phones anyway (they encourage you to set up a gateway server and a $3,000 product instead), I doubt they will want to do anything about it.

Then again, I wonder if I brought it upon myself. The other day, I became a registered user at 3gupload.com. It’s an incredibly convenient service, where I can upload ringtones, games, pictures, etc. to my “locker” on their site, and then be able to transfer the stuff to my phone over-the-air. But I wonder if I was a victim of a drive-by spamming, or did I open myself up to it by giving my SMS address to what is reputed to be a legitimate service?

Okay.. it looks like no one sees movies as much as I do..I am a loser with no life.

SO.. here’s what I want to know.. what are your “MOLDY OSCARS” for the year. As suggested by Matt, What are your top pics for movies you’ve seen this year – even if they are on DVD, or if they are really old. Just that you’ve seen them this year. Only rule: They are not nominated for oscars.

Mine: Best picture: LOTR: The Two Towers Special Edition. WOW BEST Director: Peter Jackson, Same. Best Actor: Bruce Campbell, Bubba Ho-Tep Best Actress: Famke Jennsen x2, Xmen United Best Supporting Actress: Carrie Fisher, Empire Strikes back.. I still watch it, it still rules. Best Supporting Actor: Marc Alaimo on Deep Space Nine (Dukat) – I know its not a movie, but I spent a year watching it, and he was great. Honorabel Mention: FREDDY VS JASON!! In every category.

A couple years back, McDonald’s and its marketing agency were successfully sued for rigging the Monopoly sweepstakes game. This broke my heart because my college time was spend like this:

5% Academic Studies 45% Girls 50% Collecting McDonald’s Monopoly board pieces in the hopes of winning a Dodge Viper, the Grand Prize, and driving it with Weed across the country.

So last week, McDonald’s announced that as a stipulation of settling the class action lawsuit (I know I wrote that McDs was successfully sued but everyone knows they were guilty regardless of whether they settled or received a verdict) they are holding a new Instant Prize Giveaway to reconcile with the unhappy people who were cheated before. This new game gets rid of board pieces. The new Giveaway says that we could be one of 15 lucky winners to receive $1M. All we have to do is show up and be standing in a McDs between 3/5-3/7. That’s it. No board pieces.

An “Entry

Okay, all.. let’s post our oscar picks. Who do you think will win.. and who would you like to win! Whoever is closest gets an official Barnson.org “NOTHING AWARD”. It is an award with no value whatsoever except our amazement at how close you came.. that being said.. I am hoping it will be me, since I am posting on oscar day, and because I really want a “NOTHING PRIZE”.

Here are the nominees.. Best Picture LORD OF THE RINGS: RETURN OF THE KING LOST IN TRANSLATION MASTER & COMMANDER: THE FAR SIDE OF THE WORLD MYSTIC RIVER SEABISCUIT

Achievement in Directing Fernando Meirelles for CITY OF GOD Peter Jackson for THE LORD OF THE RINGS Peter Weir for MASTER & COMMANDER Sofia Coppola for LOST IN TRANSLATION Clint Eastwood for MYSTIC RIVER

Best Actor in a Leading Role Johnny Depp in PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN Ben Kingsley in HOUSE OF SAND AND FOG Jude Law in COLD MOUNTAIN Bill Murray in LOST IN TRANSLATION Sean Penn in MYSTIC RIVER

Best Supporting Actor Alec Baldwin in THE COOLER Benicio Del Toro in 21 GRAMS Djimon Hounsou in IN AMERICA Tim Robbins in MYSTIC RIVER Ken Watanabe in THE LAST SAMURAI

Best Actress in a Leading Role Keisha Castle-Hughes in WHALE RIDER Diane Keaton in SOMETHING’S GOTTA GIVE Samantha Morton in IN AMERICA Charlize Theron in MONSTER Naomi Watts in 21 GRAMS

Best Supporting Actress Shohreh Aghdashloo in HOUSE OF SAND & FOG Patricia Clarkson in PIECES OF APRIL Marcia Gay Harden in MYSTIC RIVER Holly Hunter in THIRTEEN Renee Zellweger in COLD MOUNTAIN

Best Original Screenplay THE BARBARIAN INVASIONS DIRTY PRETTY THINGS FINDING NEMO IN AMERICA LOST IN TRANSLATION

Best Adapted Screenplay AMERICAN SPLENDOR CITY OF GOD THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING MYSTIC RIVER SEABISCUIT

If you don’t have oscar picks.. or if you are reading this after Sunday.. what DID you want to win. (Or if you haven’t seen these.. what ones did you like this year.. even on video.)

Here I go: BEST PIC: It will Be LOTR I want LOTR

BEST DIRECTOR: PETER JACKSON I wans Peter Jackson

BEST ACTOR: Sean Penn I want Johnny Depp

SUPPORTING ACTOR: Tim Robbins I want Ken Watanbe

BEST ACTRESS: Charlize Theron I haven’t seen these movies.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS: Renee Zelwegger I havent seen these either

ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY: Lost in Translation I want Lost in translation

ADAPTED SCREENPLAY: Mystic River I want LOTR

Okay.. That is the end of the ones contested (the ones most people care about).. here are the rest I care about..

Best Original Score LOTR I want LOTR

Animated Feature: Finding Nemo I want Finding Nemo

Original Song “Into the West” – THE LORD OF THE RINGS That is what I want

Cinematography LOTR I want LOTR (I would love Lance Acord for Lost in Translation, but he’s not nominated – Still. loved those shots of Japan, and the use of handheld stedicam photography in a sweeping way..)

Sound Editing MASTER & COMMANDER I want PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN

Best Visual Effects I think that Pirates might dominate here.. PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN I still loved LOTR, but I’m torn on what I want.

Okay.. go to town!!

I don’t know that many of you know, I’m a Home Interiors Displayer. I’ve recently set up a webite with the company. You can visit my site at www.homeinteriors.com/cbarnson. What I do is decorating, floral arranging and gifts. So most of the posters and readers are guys, so let me tell you how this information can be of help to you. Many of you had some struggles with Valentines Day. With my help that won’t have to happen again. I can order whatever you’d like and have it shipped to you, or do the floral arrangement or greenery arrangement and send it to you. Your girl will love it. Matt has enjoyed the florals around the house and not having bare walls. So the next day that you should be planning for is Mother’s Day. This means you should be planning a nice gift for your mom, mother in law, wife/girlfriend. I’d love to help with those gifts for those special women in your lives.

Ted is a new discount air carrier that’s owned by United. I went to their website to see if they service Minneapolis. They don’t. So, since they’re new, I wondered if they have plans to expand here. I wrote their customer service the following simple, straightforward email:

“Message: Is Ted coming to Minneapolis anytime soon? Thanks!

Sam”

The following was their response. Raise your hand if you are wondering why United is going bankrupt?

“Dear Sam,

Thank you for contacting us. You ask about our route structures and schedules. Basically, this is what happens. Domestic and international route structure teams regularly analyze scheduling commitments with these questions in mind: Are we using prime resources effectively? Are airplanes and flight crews working in the most cost-effective and efficient manner possible? If the route structure and scheduling teams determine that revised schedules provide greater opportunities for airplanes, crews, and United’s route structure, they make the required changes. For our customers’ benefit, United needs to work efficiently and cost -effectively, and remain competitive as well. We appreciate this opportunity to be of assistance and look forward to serving you.

Best regards, Nancy Castro Customer Relations”

Bunch of wack-mobiles.

— Sammy G