Barnson: Portrait of a.. Barnson

Matthew has graciously allowed me to post a random thought here and there because honestly I don’t have the wherewithall to run my own blog.

This is not the first or probably the last time I will turn to Mr. Matt for tools that allow me to do that which I can’t on my own. It is the nature of our friendship, and so.. being that Barnson is so candid with his first person view of the world, I wanted to share a candid third person look at him.

My perspective on Matt is unique, in that he preceded me in many many ways. I arrived at Quince Orchard high school an annoying freshman who plunked on the piano and guitar and tried to write songs, most of which.. well.. sucked. I wanted to act, be in show choir, and above all not be an annoying freshman. Enter Barnson, a Senior who did everything I did.. but better. He was eccentric, loud, brave, and underneath a nice person. So, I bugged him and bugged him until he would be my friend. Well, that’s probably the story he would tell.

There are anectodes and details and trips to San Fran and homecoming and the fair, but the point is I found acceptance in trying to become like Matt.

When I was 18, I would have told you my life parallelled Matt’s in many ways, just with a delay, and not as perfect. By my senior year, I was the piano playing eccentric actor with freshmen who admired me. But like so many things, not as good. Somehow, there were always those who thought I was annoying… not like the great Matt.

But hero worship goes the way of Jackie Paper’s dragon, and I learned, from Matt himself, that he was far from perfect. When Matt returned from a 2 year absence, I admitted I had a “Single White Female” thing going on, and that I admired him. He was quick to tell me that he never felt as strong on Piano as a couple of his close friends, that he was unpopular with quite a few people, that he never felt like a super strong actor, and even after a time, that he admired things in me. “How weird”, I thought, “A human being”.

Well, if I ended the story here, it would just be a sweet homage or freaky stalker note. But there is an unexpected epilogue.

Truth to tell, our lives are starkly different now, and neither one of us would trade what he has. I find that we talk as much about those things we have different as those we have the same. See, heroes are important to kids. They help us find identity, acceptance, and they fill an important role, but that sort of relationship fades away along with interests in Social Studies, Transformers and Show Choirs.

And so, if I am to be honest, I must admit two things.. 1) Matt may not be perfect, but I think I like him better this way.

..and my Wife would call me out if I didn’t admit this second thing.

2) Okay, I still like Transformers.