It is amazing to me that each of our children has such different personalities. For example, our 3rd child will turn two this Friday. Matt and I were discussing little Elijah’s habits just yesterday and came to the conclusion that he is obsessive compulsive. After he leaves his bedroom, he shuts his door. Then he shuts my door on his way past it. Any bag near the exit of our home, must be hung on the doorknob. If I move it again, he will rehang it as soon as he notices. He loves to wash his hands.
Okay, so this is fine, but the obsessive part is more an obsession of water. Despite that he likes things neat and organized, he loves the sound of water hitting the floor. Luckily this means he’s in the kitchen or a bathroom for most of his water time. When the water faucet comes on in the bathroom, we run to see if it’s Eli, or an older child. If there’s a cup left sitting around, he will pour it.
So we have a two gallon water filter in the kitchen sitting on the counter available for us to drink freely. It has helped me not to have to help the older kids get a drink every time they’re thirsty. They can help themselves. Well, Eli grew two weeks ago and can now reach the spout. So we pushed the filter to the back of the counter. He will open the dishwasher, and push the spout down. Or he’ll move a chair to get to it. It doesn’t matter that he’s already been swatted on the bum twice and put in time out both times today, he wants to hear the sound of water hitting the floor.
Just when I think it’s safe and everything is out of reach of our little long arms of the west, he finds a squirt bottle.
So the terrible two’s have officially begun…….
sounds fun…
This should be fun when potty training 🙂
TERRIBLE TWO’S
MY SON WILL BE 3 IN NOVEMBER. FROM THE DAY HE WAS BORN, ALL HE HAS DONE IS CRY. I HAVE HAD 5 CHILDREN IN ALL. THREE BOYS, TWO GIRLS. GAGE HAS THROWN TEMPER TANTRUMS SINCE HE WAS VERY YOUNG. I AM VERY WORRIED, OF COURSE. OF FIVE CHILDREN, HE IS THE ONLY ONE THAT IS SO STUBBORN. I AM TRULY AT MY WITS END. I SEEM TO HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. PLEASE! IF ANYONE CAN HELP ME, LET ME KNOW! WE ALL WANT A LITTLE PEACE.
Matt..
You should tell this person your “Natural Consequence” idea
tough kids
I have found with my four children that each child is different and each needs a different type of discipline, as well as being loved differently according to their personality. The comment about natrual consequences is referring to “Love and Logic Parenting.” There are many books written by a couple sets of parents that help teach us how to allow natural consequences to teach our children. For example, my daughter left her lunch at home and called me at lunchtime from the school asking me to bring it. My response, “I’m so sorry you forgot to take your lunch. I guess you’ll need to buy a lunch today and pay the school back with your own money since I already had one prepared for you. I love you, goodbye!” It teaches children to take responsibility for their own problems. Yes, you can start them with this at about age two.
But, a stubborn three year old that has screamed since day one? Yuck. I’m sure you’ve tried many things, but here’s a few thoughts. Have you tried having this child be your personal helper so that he is getting positive attention on a regular basis?
Do you tend to ignore his crying and whining? Sometimes kids go straight to that because that is the point when mom and dad finally pay attention. Help him learn to make requests happily with your positive feedback. This will takes months of practice, but I have a neighbor this has worked for. Her four year old isn’t nearly as whiney and fussy as she used to be.
Have you talked with your pediatrician about the problem? If it’s not just stubbornness, it could be a chemical imbalance. If this is the case, maybe a minor antidepressant may help. This is of course an extreme scenario, but none the less, a possibility.
By age three, depending on his attention span, he may be ready for preschool. Find someone patient who is willing to help him learn the structure, and he will most likely enjoy having something special happening for him, rather than being in competition all the time with his siblings. The structure of preschool can help him pull out of this and relate such situations at home as well. If you can’t send him to preschool, take time out just with him and start some preschool activities at home. I have taught preschool for five years and could help you get started if you’d like.
There’s also a parenting book called, “Taming the Dragon in Your Child.” I have found that with each new stage of each child I need to do a bit of research to figure out what will work best. Don’t give up and drown him with LOVE! —
Christy