Review: Man On Fire

So, I got together with three buddies and we went to the 9:50 PM showing of “Man On Fire”. Here’s my review! WARNING: Moderate spoilers contained within.

OK, first thing’s first. I loved the Die Hard movies. I enjoyed the heck out of Ransom. I never entirely got First Blood. But they seemed cool.

Man On Fire is definitely not entirely something in that vein. The plot summary: Ex-special-forces assassin Creasy is a washed-up drunk. He’s out of the service, but haunted by it. His buddy convinces him to take a job as a bodyguard in Mexico City for a little girl who’s parents are concerned about a rash of kidnappings. Of course, the little girl he’s guarding gets kidnapped and presumably killed — which sets the stage for a tale of revenge.

Suffice to say, it’s a bloody flick. Not “spray blood all over the room” bloody like the old Nightmare on Elm Street movies, but realistic, painful-looking stuff that’s enough to make anybody wince.

The whole first hour of the movie deals with Creasy’s relationship with the young girl he’s assigned to bodyguard — building a rapport, yet foreshadowing the eventual disaster. I felt like it was really, really slow. But then after she’s kidnapped, and Creasy spends weeks in the hospital recovering from gunshot wounds, the action is enough to quicken anyone’s blood, and the sometimes-cartoonish situations provide an excellent foil for Denzel Washington to show off some terrific gallows humor and intensity.

Overall, I’ve definitely gotta say it’s ultimately just not my sort of movie. I enjoy action flicks, but I prefer movies where the violence is a bit less graphic, and certain plot twists less predictable. It seems at certain times the director simply delighted in how he could make each extraction of information and dispatch of a “bad guy” more creative.

In the words of one of the characters, “Creasy’s art is death. And he’s about to paint his masterpiece.”

That’s really the heart of the movie.

Mediocre, predictable storyline is livened up by superb performances by Denzel Washington as Creasy, young Dakota Fanning (for, alas, only the first half of the film) as Lupita, Christopher Walken’s enigmatic portrayal of Rayburn, and Giancarlo Giannini as the honest cop that looks the other way while Creasy goes on a rampage.

But, under it all, it’s a fairly average revenge flick with only a unique setting, powerful actors, and interesting camera effects to redeem it.

I’ve gotta give it two and a half out of five Barns. A few redeeming qualities, a noble sacrifice, a predictable storyline, and violence that… well, I’m a little squeamish, and it was a bit beyond my comfort level.

Note to self: Must create nifty “barn” graphic and half-barn graphic for future movie reviews. Additional note to self: check out reviews of movies before I go see them in the future; although it was a great chance to hang out with my buddies, I’d have probably passed on this movie if I had a do-over.