So I was reading the latest I, Cringely column which was about the blogging phenomenon, how we have probably 24 years or so more before it becomes an accepted, everyday “normal” thing, when I read to the end of the article.
It was somewhat of a non-sequitur in the article, but he briefly recounted his dinner some years ago with Ronald Reagan. And his main impression? Reagan was a funny guy. Here’s the joke Reagan told him; I thought it was funny enough to share!
One night in 1978, my friend John Austin, who had covered Governor Reagan for Time magazine, and I met for dinner in San Jose, California. The former governor wasn’t even running for President yet, but was in town that day to give a lunch speech. Reagan’s plane back to Los Angeles, where Nancy was waiting, didn’t leave for several hours, so we kept him company. Over drinks and then dinner, Reagan never once mentioned politics. Instead he told an unending string of Irish jokes. Here is my favorite:
Two Irish ladies were at the wake for their dear friend. “Poor Mollie,” said the first woman, looking down at the body, “she had such a hard life. First she married Mike, who gave her five crying children in six years. He beat her and never worked a day in his life. Then Mike up and died, and she married Johnny, who was even worse, giving her seven more children and not a penny of support. He was drunk all the time until he died, too. And now Mollie is gone, worked to death taking care of those 12 kids.”
“Well, at least they are together at last,” replied the second woman.
“You mean together in Heaven?” asked the first woman. “But is Mollie together with Mike or with Johnny?”
“I was referring to her legs.”
So, in the grand tradition of Ronald Reagan, what’s your funniest ethnic joke? Try to remember that my children, family, and relatives read this board; the joke above is about as dirty as I want to get 😉 And when I say “ethnic”, I mean a joke representative of a funny stereotype of an ethnic group. Not jokes insulting to that ethnic group.
OK, disclaimer: done…
$10
Little Jewish girl runs up to her father and says, “Dad, can I have ten dollars”
The Jewish father seems shocked and says, “Five dollars? What do you need two dollars for?”
The Miser
An old miser dies and ends up at the Pearly Gates.
“So, Miser,” says St. Peter, reviewing a very large log book of sins and good deeds, “it looks like you need two more good deeds to make it into Heaven. What did we miss?”
The miser thought carefully. “Well, I once gave a quarter to a beggar on the street,” he began, “and another time I gave another quarter to an old lady who needed to make a phone call.” He smiled triumphantly.
The Angel Gabriel chimed in from where he was guarding the doorway, “Peter, I say we give him back his fifty cents and tell him to go to hell.”
—
Matthew P. Barnson
A real-life joke…
At our church, there was a virtual epidemic of pregnancies. For a while, it seemed as if every woman of child-bearing age was, well, bearing a child.
Several women were chatting in the hall, discussing this phenomenon.
“It’s in the water,” one of them joked.
“No,” came the matronly voice of an aged woman behind them, “it’s in the air.”
The heads of the young women turned to regard the grandmother quizzically.
“Your feet in the air,” she added with a wink.
—
Matthew P. Barnson