Today is our anniversary. Ten years ago today Matt and I were married on a very cold day in Idaho Falls Idaho. I don’t know that we noticed the cold weather as much as everyone else in our wedding pictures. We were so young and in love that the cold wasn’t all that noticeable.
So today I look back on the last decade and think, “Holy Cow. We’ve survived a lot together.”
There have been tons of hard times, and plenty of good times. Here’s a few things that we have done right in our marriage that has helped us to be survivors:
When we first got married we set some guidelines. We had our first fight and we both felt like crap so we decided these things. 1. Never raise your voice to the other person. We have discussions. They’re much more productive. 2. We never say hurtful things to the other person. 3. Never bring up past occurances during current discussions. 4. NEVER involve family in our marriage difficulties. 5. Always give the other a kiss before leaving the house and when arriving back home.
Despite really hard times, we have survived for a couple other reasons. We’ve been willing to work through the hard times and not just give up. We’ve watched other couples who have been close friends and had similar marriage troubles, go through ugly divorces because they refused to try to work it out.
We have also found that other people’s advice won’t always work for us. For example, when we got married everyone told us not to go to bed mad at each other. Most of the time we found we were upset with each other because we were tired. Sleeping on it and discussing problems when we’re cooled off a bit is much more our style.
So here’s a small tribute to Matt: Thanks for putting up with me all these years! Including my emotional roller coasters. Thanks for being such a great dad. Thanks for understanding that I need a break from the kids on a regular basis to keep my sanity. Thanks for remembering that I have desires and goals outside of being a housewife. Thanks for letting me go on vacation without the family once or twice a year. Thank you for being willing to work through the hard times. That is what has kept us together! Thank you for loving me for who I am.
So for those of you happily married, what has helped you stay together?
Congratulations!
We’re not that far behind you guys. Dani and I celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary in August.
I think that what has made our marriage successful is that we don’t take anything too seriously. There’s really no problem that comes up that is *that* big a deal. We’re both healthy, we’ve got good jobs, etc. There have been tough times, of course, and we’ve gotten angry, but we’ve never let ourselves stay upset for long. We’re always able to remember that we’re in this together, so there’s no point in fighting amongst ourselves.
That’s worked pretty well so far. 🙂
— Ben Schuman Mad, Mad Tenor
Hee..
Number 8 comin up in feb.
Hear, hear, Ben.
Its important to really try to suck every ounce of enjoyment you can out of every day, because when its gone, man, its gone.
Every day is an adventure with Kel, and I look forward to tomrrow with gusto.
mawiage…
Newbies 🙂
Aww, man!
You put this up and I didn’t read until getting home from work. Now I’m about to go on a date with a really sexy woman and spend all day tomorrow skiing… I won’t have a chance to respond for at least a whole day!
—
Matthew P. Barnson