Finger Food is our Recipe

Yes, indeed, expert researchers over at snopes.com have determined that the urban legend about a woman finding a human finger in her bowl of Wendy’s chili is, in fact, completely true.

Yes, indeed, expert researchers over at snopes.com have determined that the urban legend about a woman finding a human finger in her bowl of Wendy’s chili is, in fact, completely true.

I trust Snopes more than I trust major media outlets. Those folks know their stuff, and as retired semi-professional hobbyists, they are more interested in truth than fiction. It’s their stock in trade, after all. The site’s gotten a bit pop-up heavy the last few years, though…

Anyway, the finger was fully-cooked, with a manicured fingernail (probably female), and appeared to have been torn, not cut, from someone’s body. They apparently checked all the hands of employees at the Wendy’s, and are currently moving backwards down the… ahem… “food chain” to figure out what supplier introduced the digit into the chili mixture.

I’ve made chili for Wendy’s before. Yes, I worked there. I’ve written about the experience, but not on my blog (yet, though I may have to recap it as a follow-up comment). The basic method is:

  1. Fish out last night’s over-cooked hamburger meat from the refrigerator and chop it up. This is the stuff that sat on the grill too long the day before. It’s a crappy burger, but great chili meat.
  2. Dump a massive bucket of ‘base’ with the meat into another large vat. Back when I did it, we had to add certain fresh vegetables to the base in order to make the chili more palatable. The base already contains the beans.
  3. Heat for an hour before the store opens, and leave heated the rest of the day. Throw out the leftovers at the end of the day and start all over again.

So the most logical place for that finger to have been introduced was prior to the sealing of the vat of ‘base’. Unless, perhaps, some passer-by or employee threw the digit into the chili pot for some reason. I’m guessing the makers of the base just concatenate ingredients from suppliers and cook it, so the chain should be fairly short and lead back squarely to the packagers who work for Davco Foods.

It makes me wonder what other, less-bony body parts Wendy’s has served over the years?

Ick. I had about nine valid reasons for never eating Wendy’s Chili before. Now there’s an extra digit in my list of reasons to avoid it!

EDIT by matthew: Alas, it turns out the story is not true, it is FALSE. Snopes updated their story, and it turns out the lady planted the finger, which was given to her husband by an acquaintance to settle a debt. Ugh.

12 thoughts on “Finger Food is our Recipe”

  1. My nine reasons

    My nine reasons: 1. The base smells bad by itself 2. I had to take out the grease from the day’s burgers when I worked there, and that stuff smells awful. I generally dislike their burgers for the same reason. 3. Leftover hamburgers with congealed grease and griddle-gunk dumped wholesale into chili 4. The kidney beans are really bland and mushy 5. Stews. All. Day. Long. Not that hot, either. Mmm, bacteria! 6. Gives me gas 7. At least at my Wendy’s, we stored that leftover meat in an open container in a bad-smelling refrigerator, and the meat acquired that refrigerator odor. You can’t taste it in the chili, but the thought… 8. The girl who never remembered to wash her hands made the chili 9. It’s not Hard Times. And if it’s not Hard Times Chili, it’s not chili.

    And now, finally, reason 10: 10. Severed human body parts

    Yummy, eat up!

    —
    Matthew P. Barnson

    1. Hard Times Chili

      I mean, that’s reason enough. What’s the point if it isn’t Hard Times?

      Ben’s dad used to tell a nasty story about how he at one time made the soft-serve ice cream at McDonald’s.

      I haven’t eaten at a fast-food joint in 5 years. Eating anything made in those places is gnarly.

      1. Mmmm, good

        To make matters worse, after Matt told me this story, before his blog entry, he then asked me to cook chili for dinner. I was completely grossed out by the whole thing, but had to continue the fun at dinner by showing Matt that my ten fingers are still in place! I make a great chili! —

        Christy

        1. Mmm, Mmm, good!

          The chili was amazing. I’m still enjoying the leftovers. A perfect dinner for the day I posted a blog entry about a human finger found in Wendy’s chili!

          —
          Matthew P. Barnson

      2. Hard Times Chili..

        Sam, you know better.. you know not to mention that in front of me..

        NOW I HAVE TO GO AND EAT!! DAMN YOU!!!

        1. Hmmmm… Good

          Thanks Justin… cause of you posting i had Hard times on the brain. Ended up going there last night… How can something sooo good be sooo bad… — Bryan Gregg

  2. Couple is going to jail

    I read yesterday where the couple who perpetrated the hoax to coax some golden digits (of the currency form) was getting handed (ba ding!) a jail term of up to 9 years each. They are going to the slammer.

    2. The Shakespeare of punsters…

      “Thinking they could get away with a Smart, underhanded new legal crime, Somehow they got caught redhanded, and Now they are locked away serving time.”

      The true pun in this little bit of verse? The poem is written in Dactylic meter (Dactyl being the greek for finger). Namely, a pattern of stresses that follows “Long-short-short:” DUM-dum-dum DUM-dum-dum DUM-dum-dum

      It’s called Dactylic meter because its long-short-short pattern mirrors the segmentation of your average digit: long from the knuckle to the first joint, short to the next joint, short to the fingertip.

      …The More You Know.

Comments are closed.