Several months ago, I bought myself an XM Radio. Since then, I have listened a great deal. I have a sad, sad admission to make…
I like big-hair bands. I really do. The glitz, the glam, the reverb cranked to 11, the blazingly mindless wannabe-Eddie-Van-Halen guitar solos, the dual-guitar-alternating-hook screeches, the boy-toy lead singers that sing higher than any male should be allowed to, flangers in weird places, double-distortion, stereo chorus, songs written in E Minor to try to sound serious… I just dig it all.
That’s my secret musical obsession.
For this week.
XM Radio has fed my obsession with a few other genres to date, so I don’t know who it will be next week 🙂 Techno’s out, and I got a little bored with Talk Radio…
I also loved listening to Madonna in high school. I’d buy her albums at Waxie-Maxies, stuffing them underneath my jean-jacket until I arrived at the counter, covering everything but the UPC code on the off-chance someone would see me buying the album. I’d tape the CD, and then label the tape something more socially acceptable, like “Megadeth remixes”, “Hardcore radio mix”, or “Depeche Mode Live!”. I’d quickly eject the tape when I came to intersections, afraid that my friends would hear me listening to the Diva.
What’s your secret musical obsession?
What’s not to like?
Two things:
First, you should in no way feel guilty for liking big-hair bands. It’s a scientifically proven fact that the best album of the 80’s was Bon Jovi’s 1987 “Slippery When Wet.” Big-hair music is passionate and intense; it gets the blood flowing. Also, its simple chord structure makes it easy for even the uneducated musical ear to get wrapped up in. Finally, it’s really the only genre of the 80’s that successfully blended synthesized music with acoustic and electric, instead of just going totally overboard on the synthesizer. (Reference Van Halen’s “Jump” for an example of perfect synthetic/electric blend.)
Second, liking big-hair bands is much less frightening than what I originally thought your post said, which was that you liked big hairbands.
Arthur Rowan Brother Katana of Reasoned Discussion Rebel Leader and Keyboardist for the Unitarian Jihad
No shame in your game
Matt,
As much as I wish I had any musical ability so I could make the music I love to listen to so much, one of the perks of being a musical squib is that I can get away with liking any song or artist out there without a loss of face.
($.50 for anyone who can diagram that last sentence 😉
Meaning, I personally dig “Boom Boom Back To My Room” by Paul Lekakis, or “Rhythm Is A Dancer” by Snap. I love “Around The World” by Daft Punk, and I like “Stacey’s Mom” by Fountains of Wayne (and not just because of the video 😉 I have soft spots for Midnight Oil, the Cure, and yes, The Presidents of the USA (“Millions of peaches, peaches for me”)
I don’t have to care if they only use 4 chords or play in the Major C scale. All I have to do is like the song. It’s like magic to me, where as once you’re a magician, you spend your time seeing how good his sleight of hand is instead of being entertained.
I can rattle off a bunch of songs from the 80s/90s I like from big hair bands. Poison/Winger/Firehouse/Crue/GnR/Kix/etc/etc/etc. Def Leppard was a huge part of my teenage years. I once improptu rapped “Paul Revere’s Ride” in a bar in the Outer Banks once. In the beginning, people were staring at me like I was loco, but in the end, they are were singing along.
My son wasn’t even two before he was kicking “Twinkle Twinkle”. We’re wired to like music from the beginning, and 99% of us don’t care about the quality except that it has to sound good. So pump up the Madonna (I still think La Isla Bonita was a lost classic) and kick the Poison (Nothing But a Good Time). Play it with pride. If the other musically inclined here give you a hard time, show them Madonna’s financil statement or the chicks Axl Rose has dated.
My $.02 Weed
I Thought Axl Rose Was Gay?
I thought he was gay?
If so, he hid it well
He was married to one of the Everly Brothers’ daughters (for which he wrote “Sweet Child O’ Mine”) and Stephanie Seymour.
So if he was gay, at least he used it well to get the hot chicks.
Check out http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Axl_Rose for more info.
Plus, a little known fact is that AXL ROSE is an anagram for ORAL SEX.
Now, the lead singer for Judas Priest came out o’ the closet. But I hadn’t heard anything about Axl.
My $.02 Weed
Musical squib
Excellent Harry Potter reference! It slipped right past me.
Speaking of Harry Potter… three days to Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Less if you run to the store at midnight Saturday morning, as I plan to 🙂 I work nights, so it’s natural for me…
Bah, who am I kidding? I ran out at midnight when the last one came out, and read for two days straight to finish it before my wife and children fouled me to gain possession…
—
Matthew P. Barnson
Reading-addict
I’m glad someone got my HP reference. Just call me Filch…
My wife has been warned and prepared about the new book. Apparently, I don’t realize I’m doing it, but when I’m in the middle of a book, anytime she asks me to do something, I act “huffy”. Like changing a poopy diaper is nearly as important as Occulemncy lessons with Snape!
Whatevar!
My $.02 Weed
Same!
I think my daughter, you, and I must be related somehow…
—
Matthew P. Barnson