Jury Duty

Sammy G was not a happy camper when yesterday’s mail brought a letter from the U.S. District Court emblazoned with the words, “Juror Materials.” Yes, yours truly has been selected as a potential juror for a federal court case, and I am delighted to be provided the opportunity to come forward and represent my fellow citizens by participating in this country’s great judicial system.

Included was a questionnaire to get the jury selection process rolling. They want answers bubbled in with a #2 pencil. I’m using a red pen.

Sammy G was not a happy camper when yesterday’s mail brought a letter from the U.S. District Court emblazoned with the words, “Juror Materials.” Yes, yours truly has been selected as a potential juror for a federal court case, and I am delighted to be provided the opportunity to come forward and represent my fellow citizens by participating in this country’s great judicial system.

Included was a questionnaire to get the jury selection process rolling. They want answers bubbled in with a #2 pencil. I’m using a red pen.

Question #1: Are you a citizen of the United States?

Thanks to the defendant, whom I personally know, yes.

Question #2: Do you read, write, speak and understand the English language?

Buenos dias. Me gusta el defendant.

Question #3 Are you 18 years of age or older?

When can we get to the part about the death penalty?

Question #4: Do you have any physical or mental disability that would prevent you from serving as a juror?

My pancreas becomes infected when I get near lawyers.

Et cetera.

3 thoughts on “Jury Duty”

  1. The death penalty

    I had a coworker in Las Vegas that had quite the personality. We were teachers at an inner city middle school so a sense of humor is pretty much mandatory for the job.

    Anyway, when she went in for jury duty, they asked some basic questions like your questionaire and then when they came to the one asking your opinion of the death penalty, she yelled out in front of everybody, “Just kill them all!!”

    Needless to say, she was not chosen to serve on the jury. She was extatic! —

    Christy

    1. Your Co-Worker is an idiot

      Adding to that point, anyone who would disrespect the system in such a way deserves to sit in the Defendant’s seat. Whether the statement was made in an attempt to be excused from the jury, or because the moron actually believed in “kill them all” before the trial on innocence or guilt begins, it is betther the co-worker was excused. Such idiots should not be allowed to participate in our system.

  2. Sam, you’re funny.

    Hee hee hee. I hope at least someone in their office gets a kick out of your answers…

    That said, I think I would actually enjoy jury duty. Alas, every time they try to call on me, I have a honeymoon coming up and have to beg off. (Honest. What timing!)

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