Insulting Birthday Songs

First there’s the old classic:

“Happy birthday to you,
You live in a zoo
You look like a monkey
And you smell like one too!”

Or the new one I just dreamed up yesterday,

“Happy birthday to me,
I am thirty-three
Getting fat, slow, and hairy,
Happy birthday to me!”

First there’s the old classic:

“Happy birthday to you, You live in a zoo You look like a monkey And you smell like one too!”

Or the new one I just dreamed up yesterday,

“Happy birthday to me, I am thirty-three Getting fat, slow, and hairy, Happy birthday to me!”

So if you had to sing the most insulting birthday song you could think of, what would it be? Within the usual decency limits of the site 🙂

9 thoughts on “Insulting Birthday Songs”

  1. Nobody got the hint…

    Alas, nobody got the hint.

    I’m thirty-three today! Yay me! I managed to stay alive one more year!

    —
    Matthew P. Barnson

    1. DUH …

      I am sorry Dude…

      Happy Birthday !!!!

      Did you celebrate? Mine was 5 days ago, and this year we kept it mellow and did not mak that big a deal out of it.

      1. celebrate?

        Did you celebrate?

        Of course! The main problem is that, in my family, April is a HUGE birthday month. My brother’s is on the 2nd, Mom’s is on the 21st, Christy’s is the 25th, and mine’s the 27th. So we get together, have one big family celebration earlier in the month, and that’s the big thing. Tonight, we just had a small cake and a couple of small presents, and the traditional funeral dirge inappropriately named “Happy Birthday”…

        Still a good time, though.

        —
        Matthew P. Barnson

          1. the dirge…

            Happy birthday Happy birthday May the village in your wake Burn like candles on your cake

            Happy birthday Happy birthday Women and children wail and weep Forget the women; save the sheep!

            Happy birthday Happy birthday!

            —
            Matthew P. Barnson

          2. Happy Birthday!

            If you’re trying to give hints around here, you need to be WAY less subtle.

            So how many years ago was it when we all sang the Birthday Dirge for you in Sam’s basement? 15?

            — Ben

  2. New birthday song for the girl that looks like a panda

    happy birthday to u you eat bamboo, ure black white and furry, and ure eyeshadow looks poooo ooooooo!!!!

    DEDICATED TO STEPHANIE P……..!!!!! FROM BROWNHILLS COMMUNITY TECHNOLOGY COLLEGE!!!!!!

    EDIT by matthew: Identifying last name removed, as the purpose of this appeared to be insulting a specific person.

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