Boredom and Shakespeare should never mix…

Sigh… this is what happens when I get too bored during a Shakespeare rehearsal.

SCENE. The Yavin System. Before Death Star

Alarum. Enter WEDGE, LUKE, and various other PILOTS

WEDGE:

Once more into the trench, Red Team, once more; Lest Yavin be destroyed by our delay. I know you all to be the best of men: Right gentle in your hearts, desiring naught But peace and order for this galaxy; Yet since the Empire calls us out to war, Now don the inner aspect of the rancor: Let me hear snarling, raging, fervent roars To cow the hearts of your imperial foes. And know this fierce, portentious Rebel yell Will sound across the blackest reach of space, Pouring into the gaps between the stars To fill this hallowed sector to the brim With bold defiance ‘gainst the tyrant’s press. This Star of Death, so I have heard, is called Sometimes the Emperor’s Eye, whose cruel gaze Might pierce the heart of each terrestrial sphere And so transmute our homes to dust and ash. O kinsmen! Brothers! Hold true to your vows That no more Alderaans might ever fall As subjects to such horrid alchemy. For we alone are left in all the world To be the stalwart guardians of the light, The spears against the enemy’s iron flank, The heralds of a New and glorious Hope.

Keep your formation close to me, Unwavering, even though my purpose holds To skim the surface of this grey sea And slip into the narrow road to hell. I know you sit like riders in your pods, Who strain upon the start. The race is on! Now gun your engines, watch your six, and prep Your targeting computers for the strike. We’ll blaze a path in fire to the stomach Of this beast and leave destruction in our wake. So hearken, war-like, to my call, And May the Force be with you all!

Exeunt