Turns out, I am an opiate abuser. At least according to my drug screening.
Yup, I failed the drug screening for my new job today – failed for “opiates” (heroin, morphine, etc). It was a simple dipstick urine test, and they’re sending it off to the lab to confirm.
Thing is.. I don’t use opiates. I’ve taken no painkillers, no antibiotics, nothing at all except Pepto last week, and maybe a Tylenol a week ago.
I DID have a poppy bagel last weekend, but there are varying theories about if that could have caused it.
SO – does anyone have any thoughts? I may be a Nurse, but I have no real experience about how the lab works. They say the test theyre going to do is more conclusive, but I’m a little scared, having accepted the offer and quit my other job.
Boyoboy – Friends are writing nasty letters, Ive got huge phone bills, and now I’m failing drug screenings.. when did I become Lindsay lohan?
Wow, dude. First you spend a
Wow, dude. First you spend a night sick half to death, now you’re failing the blood tests… you , my friend, must have consumed Satan’s bagel last weekend.
That is intensely weird. The only thing I know of that’s related to drug tests is poppyseed or cranberry juice. Hopefully the lab tests will be more accurate.
Is there any sort of appeals procedure that you can do?
Failing screening…
The only experience I have with someone failing a drug test is a receptionist at my current job. She failed her initial screening and kept her job for a week. Then one day, she was gone.
According to a friend of hers (from outside of work), she failed her second screening and was immediately discharged.
Not to stress you out or anything 🙂 The difference in her case is that she WAS using drugs. About seven different types.
Opiates wash out from your system in 2-3 days (compared to Marijuana, where if you’re a casual user it takes at least a week, and if you are a habitual user it may take a month or longer). You could be a long-time cocaine user, and if your last use was a week before the test, you’d test negative. The principal cause of false positives is poor quality-control at the lab. The GHC test they’ll subject the sample to should be better, but if they use the same sample it could still be contaminated. Insist on a fresh sample for your next test. Make sure it’s not your first urination of the day, and drink a lot of water beforehand to make sure you have enough for the sample.
A second screening may be far more degrading than the first, by the way. Due to use of products like the “whizzinator”, they may require you to disrobe prior to giving the sample.
—
Matthew P. Barnson
Justin my friend…
The first step to recovery is admitting that you have a problem.
— Ben
What You Need
Hey man, don’t listen to these fools. You come talk to Weed, I’ll hook you up. You need to get up, I’ll get you high. You need to mellow out, I’m your cat. All those friend troubles, money problems, all that won’t matta once you let Weed take over. It’ll all be nice and smooth, brutha.
Oh wait, wrong Weed. Sorry 😉
My $.02 Weed
You’re okay…maybe
It’s a little known but very certain truth that positive hits on drug screens are usually false. Consider the following scenario (with some made-up, but not unreasonable, numbers).
5% of drug tests are errant 5% of the population uses drugs
A neophyte of statistics may assume that a positive test result is 95% accurate. Guess again.
Consider a test on 1000 people.
50 are users. 48 test positive, 2 test negative (false). 950 are non users. 902 test negative, 48 test positive (false).
Positives: 96 Fales positive rate: 50%
Message to employers: never believe the first positive. Sounds like they don’t, which is good. You’ll do okay on the second round.
Unless you haven’t been entirely forthcoming with us…
APPARENTLY, NO
Well, it turns out that my rumored heroin addiction was indeed only rumored, and that the lab results have proven me to be what I actually am.. a goody-two-shoes.
Ah well. back to my “Vault Zero” and Cabernet Franc.
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