Neighbors keeping their distance

Sam Harris has an interesting quote:

If a person thinks there is something that another person can say to his children that could put their souls in jeopardy for all eternity, then the heretic next door is actually far more dangerous than the child molester.

I know it’s winter, but am I really so dangerous that you look at me nervously when I’m outdoors sporting this beard and ripped-up jeans? I think my charm and winning personality will bring them over to liking me eventually… But from the response of the neighborhood parents when I talk with their kids when they are around, it sure seems like I make them nervous.

Sam Harris has an interesting quote:

If a person thinks there is something that another person can say to his children that could put their souls in jeopardy for all eternity, then the heretic next door is actually far more dangerous than the child molester.

I know it’s winter, but am I really so dangerous that you look at me nervously when I’m outdoors sporting this beard and ripped-up jeans? I think my charm and winning personality will bring them over to liking me eventually… But from the response of the neighborhood parents when I talk with their kids when they are around, it sure seems like I make them nervous.

That’s it, time to shave and get a haircut and always wear a white undershirt so that I “fit in” with the Mormon mold again. This 1980’s-era ‘do and facial hair apparently scare the crap out of people.

8 thoughts on “Neighbors keeping their distance”

  1. You Need To Be You

    You need to be you. I would add to the renegade heretic look with a cigarette dangling from the lips and a 40 sticking out of the jeans back pocket. Let your neighbors know that in addition to your scary beast image you also are a man of addiction. And carry around a broken rake.

  2. Not to be contrary…

    But if, say, a horse as made a conscious decision (for however many good reasons) to live his life in land that’s predominantly cow country, he shouldn’t be surprised if every now and then the cows look at him funny.

    1. Enjoy the stares

      Exactly, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t enjoy some humor at the cows’ expense, eh? Grill some burgers, wear leather, ya know? Like you said, regardless of the merits of the horse, some cows will stare nonetheless. Those cows deserve to be made fun of. Cows who get to know the true horse deserve more repect.

      This is Weed, taking the metaphor way further than it needed to be taken.

      My $.02 Weed

      P.S. Eat mor chikin

  3. And mostly what I’m thinking is..

    You have a beard? This I have to see.. picture.. now.

    That said.. I think 99% of Christians would disagree with this guy, We live in a world (not Utah) where most people don’t care what you believe. Even in the south, where I am.. you’re as likely as not to meet someone who believes differently from you.

    About Rowan’s comment.. I have to agree. I’ve often made the retort that the ills of Mormonism ar enot necessarily the ills of other faiths. I happen to worship a dude with a beard and ripped clothes.

    Visit the Official Justin Timpane Website Music, Acting, and More! http://www.timpane.com

    1. Matt’s Beard

      Ask and you shall receive…

      Pretty scary, huh? Like Flock of Seagulls meets Alan Rickman when he played in “Die Hard”. He had better lighting. And a smaller chin and nose. Hell, he just looks a lot better than me.

      Me, at my desk still at this hour. Trying to get a bunch of stuff done so I can get a bunch of stuff done at my old house tomorrow to get it ready for renters.

      At least now I’m not getting the comments I kept getting when I was wearing a ball cap regularly… people kept telling me I looked like this joker:


      Matthew P. Barnson

    2. What the Simpons have to say on the subject…

      “Well, Lisa, I know my religious views might seem strange to you. But let me tell you a story of another guy like me… he had long hair and a lot of crazy ideas, and people thought what he said was strange too. And his name was……. Aw crap. Help me out, Marge. You know who I’m talking about. He used to drive that little blue car.”

      – Homer Simpson

      And speaking of Simpsons, to paraphrase Jon Stewart from last night (re: Huckabee as a candidate): JON: “It’s like… do you watch the Simpsons? It’s like Ned Flanders. We’re all OK with him, he’s a great next-door neighbor, but do we really want him as our president?”

      GUEST: “We’d rather have President Homer?”

      JON: “… We’ve GOT President Homer.”

      1. Homer

        JON: “… We’ve GOT President Homer.”

        Funniest thing I’ve read all day!


        Matthew P. Barnson

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