Came across a post on RationalResponders about How To Irritate An Atheist. Here are some of my favorites, that actually work really well on me if you’d like to drive me nuts:
15) Say that seperation of church and state isn’t in the Constitution; insist that the Constitution is based on the Ten Commandments.
37) Explain that the lack of proof doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.
38) …and give him a blank look when he says that all people tried for a crime would go to jail.
39) Blame absolutely everything wrong in society on evolution.
44) Accuse him of being an agnostic, since he isn’t 100% positive that God does not exist.
59) No matter what he quotes from the Bible, say that it’s out of context.
60) …and when he points out that the quotes are in correct context, tell him you need to be a Christian to understand the true meaning of the Bible.
61) Tell him you must study the Bible for many years to reject Christianity.
62) …and when he points out that you reject Islam despite never having studied the Qu’ran, say that you have faith, and faith is all you need.
82) Smile smugly and tell him that there are no atheists in foxholes.
89) Equivocate scientific faith with religious faith, and conclude that, metaphysically, you are both in the same boat.
105) When he takes the time and trouble to explain where your analogy or interpretation is at fault, begin your response with a sigh, so he’ll know how patient you’re being.
120) Claim that Einstein was a Christian.
121) Claim that Darwin recanted evolution on his deathbed.
123) Vehemently claim that the theory of evolution is incompatible with theism, then turn around and blame the theory for promoting atheism.
125) Tell him it’s his responsibility to prove that God doesn’t exist.
129) Ask what he believes in, if not God.
130) …then tell him that nonbelief is also a worldview, therefore there is no such thing as an atheist and Christianity is true.
148) Tell him that Hitler was an atheist. (–MattNote: Hitler was Catholic–)
156) Argue the most insignificant point you can think of; when he doesn’t address your pettiness, claim victory.
157) Constantly attempt to equate atheism with theism.
172) For Muslims only: Say that it’s perfectly reasonable for anyone to convert to your religion, but no one has a valid reason to leave Islam; it is the [most] perfect religion. (–MattNote: this applies equally to a religion of which I used to be a member…)
185) Insist that Thomas Jefferson was a Christian.
226) Tell him he has to believe before he can understand the evidence.
244) Grossly misunderstand the word “theory.”
269) When the subject of homosexuality comes up, say “God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.”
275) Reply to every statement he makes, “That’s only your opinion.”
279) Point to something in nature that’s really cool, and call it proof of God’s existence.
284) Take advantage of a horrible national tragedy, caused in large part by religious fanaticism, by pushing your own religious fanaticism as the only thing that will save us all.
285) …and announce that the tragedy only happened because of those who ignore your religious fanaticism.
281) When ending your conversation with the atheist, promise to read whatever book the atheist may have mentioned, knowing darned well that you yourself never made it through Leviticus. (–MattNote: Yep, did this with a Christian friend, we exchanged Behe’s “Darwin’s Black Box” for Sagan’s “Demon-Haunted World”. I asked him if he’d read the book he loaned me yet, and he hadn’t. Several months later, we exchanged books again… and he hadn’t read the Carl Sagan book at all, yet I’d read Behe’s work and highlighted a bunch of passages. Dunno if I want to repeat that mistake.–)
All-told, a great post that I thoroughly enjoyed reading.
A few extras
Extras that bug me:
* Say “It’s freedom of religion, not freedom from religion.”
* Say “Freedom of religion is supposed to keep the government from interfering with religions, not the other way around.”
* Tell the atheist that a position of neutrality regarding religions is de-facto endorsement of atheism by government, and thus violates the First Amendment.
* Insist that there are “two sides” to the “evolution debate”, ignoring the many alternative Creation myths.
* Insist that Intelligent Design should be taught in public school science class where it belongs.
* …and when the atheist suggests it belongs in a History, Philosophy, or Comparative Religions class instead, insist that if that were done then science class would have to be moved to the same class.
* Claim that Spinoza’s god is the same as the Christian god.
* Insist that because the atheist is a nice person that he’s really a Christian.
* End conversations with “there’s hope for you yet.”
* Claim that Behe’s claim of “irreducible complexity” is proof of Intelligent Design.
* …and when shown that the irreducibly-complex structure such as a mousetrap could, indeed, have functional intermediate stages, dismiss the argument as an irrelevant Rube Goldberg-like contraption.
—
Matthew P. Barnson