Me: “You know, we haven’t traded massages in a little while. We should do that.”
Her: “You bet, I like that idea!”
“The massage oil we have though… it’s that Wal-Mart stuff, the self-warming…”
“Yeah, not so good, it smells bad.”
“Heh, tastes bad too.”
(giggles) “We also have that K-Y oil, but it’s really thin and not very good for back rubs either.”
“Maybe we should pick up something nicer? I mean, because if we’re not exchanging back rubs because the oil is gross? Maybe I should hit Bath & Body Works for some.”
“That won’t work. I’ve hunted for hours for decent massage oil there and they don’t have anything good.”
“Huh, I wonder where they might have some?”
“Maybe you should go to a naughty store. They have the good stuff.”
(giggle) “That’s a funny name, because the naughty store is actually kind of…”
“…Nice?”
“Yeah, nice.”
A Little Fiddley-ish?
I see Matt has been taking notes from the Fiddley Gomme website 😉
Not that I’VE been there at all…lurking…watching…oh, nope, not I! 😉
My $.02 Weed
Ripoff…
Yeah, he has a fun style that I’ve ripped off from time to time. All in the interest of making me a better writer, of course.
As a result of this conversation, I picked up “Motion Lotion” from the Blue Boutique in Salt Lake City. Have I said before how oddly prudish I am when a woman salesclerk begins describing the romantic advantages of various oils in her shop to me? I think it’s a relic of my upbringing… I may be thirty-four, but I still feel as if I’m too young to be allowed…
—
Matthew P. Barnson
Funny
I was talking to a female friend of mine who told me she had recieved a gift certificate from her s/o to a local sex shop.
She said her s/o had wanted to give her a gift but was embarassed because he didn’t know what size she would want.
I sat there, slackjawed and said “He must be very comfortable with your relationship if details like that are being left up to you..”
She looked at me, confused and then turned beet red.. and said.. “No.. for a naughty halloween outfit.. not what you were thinking”.
Mwa… mwa… heh heh heh HAHAHAHA!!!
Visit the Official Justin Timpane Website Music, Acting, and More! http://www.timpane.com