For you married couples out there, I ran across a great blog entry that talks about being willing.
Warning: This is a post about sex. So if you’re at work or something, maybe you want to wait until you’re home. And if you’re a teenager, maybe you file this info away in your brain as something to work on when you’re older…
But it’s an idea that I’ve personally held for a long time that I’m glad to see expressed so clearly…
You don’t need to be frenetic or necessarily spontaneously aroused to want to be with your partner. You just need to be willing to get into the mood. Even if you’re not there now, if you’re willing to get started, you can create a nice experience that both of you enjoy.
I’m beginning to experience that now in my mid-thirties. I don’t have the instant readiness I had at eighteen. It takes a bit more work. But there’s no reason for me to reject the advances of my partner, even if I’m “not in the mood”… because with just a few minutes and a willingness, I could be.
True
One of the best things about having sex in a long-term relationship is that it takes (or at least it should take) a lot of the pressure off. Essentially, because you know you’re going to do it a lot over the course of your relationship, it doesn’t have to be “amazing” every time.
It can be romantic, sweet, quick, funny, naughty, weird, ho-hum, routine, awkward, spontaneous, surprisingly incomplete, or surprisingly longer than expected.
I think one thing that helps with the being willing is recognizing that so long as you’re willing to be there, in the moment, with your partner, there’s no great impetus for that moment to be particularly incredible.