Understanding core motivations

Christy and I are busily reading “The Color Code”, by Dr. Taylor Hartman. This book is amazingly illuminating for me — I’m realizing that my attributes are not uniquely mine (plusses as well as minusses), but that they can be easily categorized and from that point I can figure out what positive and negative traits from other personality types I have.

Dr. Hartman has a “personality profile” test that one takes to begin reading the book. After taking it, most people have attributes from each of the four “primary colors”, since personalities are a rainbow of different attributes, but nevertheless one will generally win out. He has you take the test according to your earliest memory of yourself, rather than the way you are now, which definitely skewed my results heavily in one direction; that direction, though, helped me isolate which color I am.

The amazing thing to me about this approach to understanding one’s own psychology is that in taking this profile exam, you cut through the layers of bullcrap regarding birth order, sex, upbringing, and so forth. The classic “Myers-Briggs” personality profiling is less relevant too, because those talk more about thought patterns, how you relate to the world, and not the thing Dr. Hartman calls “Core Motive”.

The core motive is, fundamentally, what’s most important to you. There’s a whole lot more to it than this, but the quick summary from what I gather:

• Red: Power, productivity, leadership
• Blue: Altruism, intimacy, loyalty
• White: Peace, kindness, independence
• Yellow: Fun, popularity, action

Hmm, take a guess which one you are, then I’ll share mine.

Ready?

The picture of me on the right as of the day I posted it — my “avatar” — says it all.

I’m yellow. I mean, ALL yellow. When I took the exam, compared to my wife’s scores, I was so yellow it would be like squinting at the sun. However, I have many of the negative personality characteristics of other colors, with few of the positives. I think I know where that comes from, too — trying to be somebody I’m not for the last thirteen years.

Christy turned out to be a Blue, with a strong component of Red in there as well. Hartman provides an enlightening comment about the Blue/Red combination:

The most difficult color combination within one individual is the mixture of Red and Blue. If you are strong in both categories, you will often find yourself stepping on someone’s toes to get a task completed (Red), but feeling guilty afterward for making that person unhappy (Blue).

We’re not through the book yet, but I heartily recommend reading it, particularly reading it with your spouse. I hate to admit it, but I skipped ahead to Yellows (we’re still reading about Blues tonight, having just barely finished Reds). It’s really, really hard admitting some of the negative characteristics, but oh my golly do I have those in spades, too. And realizing they are simply an innate part of my personality, rather than some fearful force to fight against, suddenly is liberating and makes me more willing to be a whole me.

I’ve been a Yellow trying to be a combination of Blue, Red, and White for too long. So many of the attributes taught both in my church and in employment or social circles as “desirable” attributes turn out to be core attributes of entirely different personalities: Harmonious, disciplined, or serious are attributes of White, Red, and Blue.

None of them are me. And realizing I don’t have to aspire to be like something I’m not… it’s like opening the blinds and curtains after a long winter. Time to embrace the core me a bit more I think.

Yellow Personalities

Strengths

• Highly optimistic
• Likes self and accepts others easily
• Loves to volunteer for opportunities
• Sees life as an experience to be enjoyed
• Flashy and spunky (race horse rather than plow horse)
• Adventurous and daring

Weaknesses

• Irresponsible and unreliable
• Self-centered and egotistical
• Flighty and inconsistent
• Lots of talk with little action
• Superficial and mostly interested in a good time
• Unwilling to experience pain in order to produce quality
• Undisciplined
• Loud and obnoxious in public places
• Needs to look good socially
• Unable to confront issues

Relationships with a Yellow

Do:

• Be Positive
• Adore them
• Touch them physically
• Accept their playful teasing
• Remember they are tender
• Praise them
• Remember they hold feelings deeply
• Promote playful activities for and with them
• Enjoy their charismatic innocence
• Allow them opportunity for verbal expression

Don’t:

• Be too serious or sober in criticism
• Push them too intensely
• Ignore them
• Forget they have “down” times also
• Demand perfection
• Expect them to dwell on problems
• Give them too much rope or they may hang themselves
• Classify them as just lightweight social butterflies
• Attack their sensitivity
• Totally control their schedules

Apparently, I’m in the same camp with Ronald Reagan, Bill Clinton, and Elvis Presley as far as core personality (or, apparent core personality). Both Ronny and Bill have very, very Red wives though — and Elvis did not. Maybe that was the cause of his flame-out. Anyway, lots of cool tips for handling one’s own personality and being able to be productive despite being “the way I am”.

One thing that really really stuck out to me in the description of Yellows, is that we have a hard time sticking to a job. We get bored easily, and frequently end up in lots of different jobs simply because, although the job may remain interesting, we quickly become disenchanted and lose interest in it. That sounds an awful, awful, awful lot like me. Seven “real” jobs in nine years? Time to settle down this time, hombre, and give a hard look at perhaps finding a job where I can continue to remain interested in it.