The following is heavily paraphrased. I also wish I could imitate the accent in writing, because apparently “room” and “robe” sound exactly the same from the other fellow’s mouth and to his ear.
Phone. Dialing. Ringing. Huge phone tree. Then, in a thickly accented voice, I heard:
“Hello, thank you for contacting Squigglesoft Hardware technical support. My name is Ramachandran, but you may call me Randy. How can I help you today?”
I replied in my American accent: “Uh, hi, my name is Matt Barnson. I have a problem with my laptop. I was in my bathrobe, and had my laptop, and the laptop shocked me when I set it on my lap.”
“I’m sorry, sir, did you say you were in the bathroom?”
“No. In my bathROBE.”
“You were in your bathroom when your computer shocked you?”
“No. I was in my bedroom, in my bathrobe, using my computer. I set it on my lap, and the computer shocked me.”
“Oh, sir, you should not be using your Squigglesoft notebook computer in the bathroom. Electricity and water is very dangerous, sir.”
“No, buddy, you got it wrong. I was in my bath ROBE. As in a ROBE that you wear TO the bath. I was not in the bath.”
“You were in your bath using your computer, sir?”
“No, I just said I wasn’t in the bath.”
“OK, sir, I am not interested in where you weren’t; where exactly were you when you were using the computer?”
“In my bedroom.”
“In the bathroom in your bedroom?”
“In a chair. In my bedroom. A regular chair. And when I set the computer on my lap, it shocked me on my bare leg.”
“Then when were you in your bathroom, sir?”
“Uhh, probably a few minutes earlier. But when I use the toilet is irrelevant. The fact is, I was in my bathrobe and when I set the laptop on my lap, the bare inside of my leg got a terrible shock going down to my toes.”
“So you were sitting in your bathroom using your notebook computer, and it shocked you? Was it plugged in at the time?”
“Yes, it was plugged in, but no, I wasn’t using it in the bathroom. What’s this with you and the bathroom, anyway? I was in the BEDroom, in a chair.”
“Sir, the bottom of most notebook computers become quite hot during use. We do not advise using your computer while unclothed.”
“I was clothed. I was in a bathrobe.”
“I thought you were not in a bathroom, sir?”
I hung up and got a different service tech.
This is just terrible.
I am standing here beside myself. He just needed to politely understanding the problem. It is causing much difficulties for all those involved. A new notebook laptop computing would solve the issue. Kindly be doing the needful.