Philandering Presidents: DNA can’t lie

DNA doesn’t lie.

Back in the late 1990’s, I watched the impeachment of President Bill Clinton due to the Monica Lewinsky Scandal with some incredulity. Ultimately, the impeachment was due to perjury and obstruction of justice.

The DNA evidence on Monica Lewinsky’s dress proved to be the key to those charges; were it not for definitive, absolute DNA evidence that the President had behaved improperly, it is unlikely the case could have been proven. It would have been a “he said, she said” situation. But DNA markers were proof positive that, at the very least, Clinton had been in a compromising position with Ms. Lewinsky.

In talking about this subject with relatives later, I submitted that “Bill Clinton was just following in the footsteps of many of the Founding Fathers. Thomas Jefferson had children by his slave, Benjamin Franklin was a well-known philanderer, and there are reasons to suspect other signers of the Declaration of Independence did not adhere to modern-day ‘traditional values’.”

In response, one of my relatives grew very upset at my allegation of infidelity on the part of the Founding Fathers, claiming those men were righteous, God-fearing individuals who did not deserve such horrible allegations levelled against them. He demanded a retraction, which I refused to provide, saying “I’ll look into it later”.

Well, “later” finally arrived. I was researching the origins of the terms “left-wing” and “right-wing” politics. Originally, these terms referred to where people sat in chambers after the French Revolution: members of the ruling aristocracy who favored the monarchy and traditional authority sat on the right, while those who favored democracy and individual liberty sat on the left. They were united in the fact they were wealthy landowners who would probably all today be labelled “right-wingers”.

Sorry for that tangent. Anyway, while researching, I came across a name I know: Fawn Brodie. Brodie is well-known in the LDS Apologist and Post-Mormon communities due to her 1946 biography of Joseph Smith, Jr., entitled “No Man Knows My History”. The book gained wide acceptance amongst many scholars as being the definitive work on Smith, while simultaneously being repudiated by church leadership. Though I’ve not read the book, it’s generally regarded as moderately authoritative, but a somewhat sloppy and unreliable work prone to selective source choice. However, there are several controversial aspects of the book, notably Joseph’s polyamory with several other men’s wives while those men were still living and/or on missions for the church, that have been thoroughly confirmed in the intervening fifty years of research.

Brodie was further known for biographies of other obscure historical figures; due to her choice of little-known individuals, like Smith, her books gained little scholarly inquiry or publicity. No other work of hers caused as much furor as NMKMH until her 1974 publication of Thomas Jefferson: an Intimate History. Her most controversial allegation was that he had carried on an extended affair with Sally Hemings, his slave. Ultimately, it is probably due to Brodie’s work that I had ever heard the rumor I stated as fact before my relatives that forgotten day.

Well, anyway, I finally found it: strong DNA evidence that Jefferson fathered at least one child by Sally Hemings. DNA doesn’t lie, and there is now no doubt that at least one of Hemings’ children was closely related to Jefferson — vindicating Brodie’s work on Jefferson, and her publishing of it despite extreme opposition to sullying the name of a Founder.

As always, there are those who oppose the conclusion. Jefferson traveled extensively and was rarely home for more than a few weeks at a time. Combining DNA evidence with the fact that he was home exactly nine months before the birth of several of Hemings’ children, unless his brother chose those particular times to sneak in some romance with Jefferson’s slave, seems to make it self-evident that he was the father. The 2000 Thomas Jefferson Memorial Foundation report makes this very clear. On the other hand, the Monticello Organization (descendants of Thomas Jefferson) voted in 2002 not to allow Hemings’ descendants into their club, and persuaded the Memorial Foundation to change their statement.

Yeah, I know, I’m six years late on the research, which was performed in 1998 and widely published in 2000. At the time I made the statement, six years ago, it was probably still recent news.

I’m the kid that always thought up the perfect retort for an insult several weeks later.