There it is again. Lurking in my email inbox like a tiger hunting its prey. Giggling at me behind the veil of gentility, mocking me. Smirking at me during meetings, provoking me unintentionally with both its ubiquitousness and fundamental inaccuracy. I know I should ignore it, yet I cannot. It draws me like a moth to a flame, like Homer Simpson to a caramel bologna sandwich. It’s compelling, and yet… so, so wrong.
The Needful.
“File system /db0a1 is 98% full. Please do the needful.”
“Yes, will you please do the needful to fix this?”
“The needful is to overwrite the existing files with…”
Yes, those two little words. The. Needful. The word “The”, by itself, is innocuous! One of the most common words in the English language. “Needful”, too, by itself has nothing wrong with it. It is an adjective, a part of speech used to describe a given thing as necessary, or required. Put it together with a noun, such as “thing”, or “actions”, or, well, really, any noun you wish; it is innocuous and descriptive. “The Needful Thing”. Just the kind of word a proper adjective should be.
And yet today, particularly in corporate technology cultures dominated by non-native speakers, it is a phrase that has acquired life of its own, devoid of the noun it was supposed to support. It’s as if, somewhere along the line, “The” and “Needful” just chucked the noun out of the stationwagon at fifty miles and hour, shouted “So long, sucker!” in unison, and left it in the dust at the side of the road near Silicon Valley as they sped up to match the flow of traffic along highway 101. I think they probably whipped out a handgun and peppered a few cars with bullets in their new-found catalystic freedom. Teenagers, you know. What can you do about their youthful exuberance?
So The and Needful together decided that they were a noun, with all the rights and privileges thereof, and found a fertile breeding ground for this point of view in the lexicon of technical workers. And in so doing, they continually irritate language purists everywhere. I include myself in that distinguished and geriatric association, despite my frequent and painful abuses of the language.
Every time I see these emails in my inbox, my brain automatically substitutes the word “thing” after “the needful”, with another person-shaped rubber stamp used on a stray neuron to up the counter of times I’ve seen that particular phrase.
Yet when I hear or read the phrase “The Needful”, in absence of a noun, a part of me wants to whip out my patent-pending Foam-Rubber Clue-Bat of Righteousness and whack the user over the head repeatedly, while shouting “Where is the noun, man, where is he? Just chucked him out of the car, did you, without a second thought for his safety? You will pay for your treachery!”
I suspect my incarceration would be swift even if short, and I would be introduced to more abuses of language than my ears care to hear. Alas, the Clue-Bat should remain safely hidden in the upstairs closet next to my 1988 Mako-branded generic electric guitar purchased at Victor Litz Music near Lakeforest Mall for $75.00. There among the dusty belongings The Bat cries out to be used, vigilante-style, against this violation of the language. But in this age of litigiousness, it is better to simply pull it out late at night, the candlelight illuminating the beaded sweat on my forehead as I murmer “My Precious” and slowly thwack the hefty Clue-Bat against my damp left palm.
“The Needful”. Ugh.
What is to be done?
EDIT by matthew: OK, obviously I need to explain what this essay is about. Dangit. Anyway, in the technical field you get a lot of “jargon”. The latest jargon, predominantly in use by non-native-speakers, seems to be using the phrase “Please do the needful” instead of “Please take care of this”, “Please help resolve this problem”, or the more mundane “Dude, it’s broken, fix it”. I guess I assumed it was more widespread than it actually is, or that more people have experience working with non-native-English-speakers in technical fields who tend to use shortcuts when they talk. Hope that explains it a little.
It’s So Sad
It’s a horrible thing to be on the outside of an inside joke…
My $.02 Weed
I’m in the same boat
I don’t have a clue either. He sure makes it sound dirty, though, huh?–
Christy
I guess…
I guess it’s not a phrase you hear much unless you are around a lot of Asian non-native speakers. “Please do the needful”. It’s just annoying 🙂 Thanks for reading my rant!
—
Matthew P. Barnson
ha! i was just researching the same 😉
it’s not annoying! it’s actually kinda cute, and definitely hilarious. i had gotten it again yesterday (it was something of an inside joke w/ our coworkers) but then i decided to google “please do the needful” yesterday…tons of results (this being the first, lol) — most of them indian/asian websites with comments. my favorite is “please do the needful for me and the people”
now we know that “engrish” is in vogue–i wonder if anyone has started any “indelish” sites?
Doing the ‘needful’ is not
Doing the ‘needful’ is not difficult to understand albeit quite annoying. It’s the ‘flibby flabby floopy’ and ‘da da diddy doot’ that often follow the phrase that has me scratching my head.
Needful Things
That was a good movie and stuff… all Ed Harris and junk.
— Ben Schuman Mad, Mad Tenor
the needful
greatness! have you heard/read this one: “please look into the same” ?
That’s on the list
Oh, yeah. “Please look into same”, instead of “please look into this” or “please look into it”, is right up there on the list of phrases that annoy my inner language lawyer. In its defense, though, it’s actually correct English, weirdly used for the US English lexicon, and not a hijacking of an adjective into a noun. Still odd, though 🙂
—
Matthew P. Barnson
doing the same is not correct english
When it does not specify what the same is referring to (when it could be a number of things). In fact, it is horrible english.
“In its defense, though,
“In its defense, though, it’s actually correct English, weirdly used for the US English lexicon, and not a hijacking of an adjective into a noun. Still odd, though :)”
Eh??? Look it up, friend. Needful is not a noun. Needfulness is a noun, but not needful.
Wrong context, bud…
You misread the context. I was referring to “please look into the same”.
—
Matthew P. Barnson
more of the same
This thread is hilarous… “do the needful” is very widespread, within corporate IT. The first time we heard talk of doing the needful, we assumed it meant to go to the restroom and relieve yourself!
We also encountered many requests for “the same” — whatever that is.
Speaking of the “updation” of the software… it was in the dictionary!
I also got messages saying “sorry for the ‘botheration'” which apparently is also a real word.
Another one that took some getting use to: How are you “today morning”? (as opposed to yesterday or tomorrow, I guess)
argh
I still want to punch whatever jerk decided that “liaise” was a verb.
— Ben Schuman Mad, Mad Tenor
Nuanced
Although I know the word is actually a real word, “nuanced” as the adjective-of-the-day (particularly talking about foreign policy matters) rubs me the wrong way. For instance, Nicholas Kristof, writer for the New York Times, said the situation in Iraq is a “deeply nuanced mess, etched in shades of gray.” Kerry attempting to clarify his “nuanced positions” in the presidential race. Among others.
A political position isn’t “nuanced” unless it is to be compared to, and subtly different from, another. The situation in Iraq isn’t “nuanced”. There’s nothing to compare it to, so “nuance” is irrelevant. It seems to me that “complex”, “varied”, “unstable”, “deep”, and many other words fit, but “nuanced” sure sounds like someone trying to sound intelligent and using an in-vogue word when they have no idea what it actually means. Or else using it in place of “subtle” or “requires long thought”.
Like the use of the word “ironic” after Alanis Morisette’s famous 1995 song which included no irony in it at all. The ironic thing was that people got on her case for using the word “ironic” without it being correct. And I think the actual irony of the song was that there was nothing ironic within it. She must be brilliant 🙂
I’m done 🙂
—
Matthew P. Barnson
i googled “please do the needful”
i’ve seen this phrase in e-mail just like you. it irritates the <bleep!> out of me.
not in public
please do the needful….
at my desk? in public? you could get arrested or fired…. perhaps one might respond with…. “how dare you ask me that… i’m reporting you to HR”….
You’re not alone
You ain’t alone. We get this phrase quite often from folks in India.
A quick search on http://www.
A quick search on http://www.m-w.com, “needful” is both a adjective and a noun, now I am confused.
Smells like
Merriam-Webster is well-known, if I recall correctly, for adding words to the lexicon rather “hastily” compared to some other dictionaries. I’m guessing they added the noun due to current usage in exactly the context I’m complaining about. This adjective has been transformed into a noun through capricious, ignorant usage.
Which, of course, means that now usage of “needful” as a noun will continue to spiral out of control in mainstream society. I’m powerless to stop it! Protest rallies! The dead rising from the grave! Dogs and cats, living together! Mass hysteria!
—
Matthew P. Barnson
MW
So what your saying is that M-W is famous for doing the capricious?
——– Visit my blog, eh! The Murphy Maphia
Beware the bat!
Beware, the Foam-Rubber Cluebat of Righteousness has your name etched on the side now.
I used a soldering iron.
MWAHAHAHAH!
—
Matthew P. Barnson
Do some research
You’ve gotten it exactly backwards — “do the needful” is not a neologism. It’s a quaint old phrase, suggestive of the 1940s. It was used by the British in India before India won its independence, and after the British left India the phrase didn’t die out there the way it did elsewhere.
Something similar happened with many words used in American English — for example “Fall” (meaning the season that leaves fall from the trees) was used in Britain during colonial times, but subsequently disappeared in favor of “Autumn”. But we Americans, unmoored from British influence on our language, kept “Fall”.
For evidence of “do the needful”‘s antiquity, see this archived Time magazine article from 1949. The article quotes John Foster Dulles saying “…I think we are now in a good way to do the needful quickly.”
May have to redraft…
I may have to redraft my little opinion piece then; instead of characterizing “please do the needful” as a bizarre, irritating phrase creeping into the American lexicon, I’ll have to classify it as a bizarre, irritating phrase creeping back, once more into the American lexicon 🙂 Nevertheless, the lack of a noun in this everday phrase still bugs me. The feeling is similar to watching someone pick a scab and eat it in public. It’s their scab. They can do with it whatever they want. But oh, how it offends the sensibilities, and I surely wish they wouldn’t.
Note:I’ve always intended this op-ed as a humorous piece; I hope that shows, but I suspect it’s in the same vein of humor as the jokes I made when a child. I’d follow some small event out to its ultimate conclusion, then make a joke based upon that ultimate event, and nobody would get it. Or I’d think of a perfect riposte two weeks after being insulted. Or sometimes, I’d even simply play a joke out in my mind, and laugh aloud with company, and be unable to explain the joke. Come to think of it, I commonly do that today, too…
—
Matthew P. Barnson
perhaps
Perhaps this was popular in British India in the 40’s because of the same reason it made its way into the language again this time. Non-native English speakers. I don’t know anything about the syntax and symantics of the languages in India but I would suspect that they, like many other non-germanic and non-latin languages, don’t requre the use of a subject in a sentence. ——– Visit my blog, eh! The Murphy Maphia
syntax and sEmantics. There
syntax and sEmantics. There should be a Sin Tax for spelling mistakes.
Corporations…
Bless ’em, but “Symantec” has done more to popularize the misspelling of “semantic” than any person on earth, I suspect…
—
Matthew P. Barnson
nice…
Like you couldn’t just edit my post 🙂
——– Visit my blog, eh! The Murphy Maphia
deprivation…
What, and deprive future visitors of endless entertainment making jokes about spelling mistakes?
I already learned my lesson about that. If I go correct someone, I seem to always leave something out, making the confusion even greater…
(Note: the confusion in that post before was that I fixed the name, but not the later reference to “RLDS”. Since half the discussion fixated on the use of the wrong acronym, all context would have been lost had I further edited it for clarification. There’s a reason newspapers publish corrections in later editions, rather than trying to go back and fix what they’ve already published…)
—
Matthew P. Barnson
sweet fact:)
sweet fact:)
there is plenty of indian speech that is british. i understand the history there; i always find it interesting though.
it’s still funny–‘cos i know of no brits currently in the US stressing the need to do the needful
j.
Who You Gonna Call?
Guess we should call the Ghostbusters. 🙂
Angela
we recently outsourced a numb
we recently outsourced a number of functions to Bangalore. I received an email that requested I “do the needful”, and it made me crazy. Glad it ain’t just me
Trust me, it’s everywhere…
We deal with several India-based corporations and we are constantly bombarded with this phrase at least 12-15 times per day. It has been noticed at other locations as well.
I know this is an older post, but hey, I felt that I should do the needful and respond.
Ugh is right.
I’m back!
I’m back at the same company where I regularly encountered this phrase (it’s a long story, don’t ask). I’m doing night shifts. Supporting our — you guessed it — subcontinent-based development team.
I’m seeing it now, constantly. All night long. And my friends over there on the other side of the planet even constantly MISSPELL it, putting two Ls on “needful”. “Please do the needfull”. Add the offense of this adjective-less phrase to the discomfort of seeing an improperly spelled word, and it’s the language-lawyer equivalent of constipation paired with horrible gas. I have to do something, but I’m incapable of doing anything about it… Oh, the pain!
—
Matthew P. Barnson
(Reminder: every post of mine in this thread is tongue-in-cheek. It really doesn’t bug me that much, but it’s fun to play with language. I’d go so far as to say, for me, that language is addictive. I mean, I use it constantly, and whenever I’m not using it, I’m thinking about it. How addictive is that?)
“Do the Needful” Apparel
This site sells t-shirts, bags, hats and underwear with the “Do the Needful” logo…..
https://www.cafepress.com/theneedful
On one level…
You know, on one level, I find that totally hilarious. Mainly because there are a bunch of shirts advertised there which proudly advertise:
“MADE IN THE USA”
—
Matthew P. Barnson
I feel so much better!
Well, it’s 2am here and I just got *another* email asking me to “do the needfull”.
Now, like so many of us, I’m used to interpreting all sorts of requests with no hassle whatsoever, providing they have some connection to English and, as someone pointed out (making so much sense), this is originally an English phrase *anyway*, so it’s not that the meaning is not crystal clear, it’s just…so…annoying!
I had no idea why this particular phrase grated on me so much, but decided that I had to search for more information. I found this thread and I feel so much better, knowing that I’m not alone!
It’s like a support group for those who scream abuse at their inbox on a regular basis over this one little (incomplete) phrase, yet at the same time knowing that this behaviour is seriously out of all proportion, when the situation is considered in full.
I love that there are even t-shirts dedicated to this phenomenon.
Thanks for making my night a bit more tolerable…and fun 🙂
Claire
Please Deal
I’m very familiar with that phrase and one or two others. When I was a sysadmin I used to get emails like: startrec has run out of disk space. Please deal.
Please Deal? That would send me into a rage. I dealt with it all right. I emailed the luser back and told him I’d deleted all his files.
What’s this “Do the Needful”
What’s this “Do the Needful” campaign? I’ve seen banners and logos everywhere. I never had the curiosity to click any of them. I even saw T-shirts with that logo at Paramore t-Shirts. This means someone wanted that printed on their clothes. Why?
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!!!
Forgive me for my late arrival, but I only just discovered your rant and felt compelled to join in. I’ve been seeing this phrase creeping into my emails lately, and wondered where it was coming from.
Given all the comments about the subcontinent I found this Indian food web site interesting: http://www.sanjeevkapoor.com/faq/default.asp.
Check out the very last sentence: “Please mention the name and delivery address of the person to whom you want to gift the books and we will do the needful.”
“To gift”???
EDIT by matthew: Linked.
Believe it or not…
Believe it or not, “to gift” is correct English, if weird-sounding to American ears. In American English, we’d probably say “to give as a gift” instead.
—
Matthew P. Barnson
Doing the Needful
You’re very kind to not disclose the continental source of this phrase, but the majority of those from which I’ve heard it come from India. Yes, it’s slang as far as we’re concerned, but it has to be a direct translation from its source into English. Most of my experience working with technical people from India has proven to me that diction is of the utmost importance until about year 5 of being in the US.
do the needful
We see this all the time where I work to.
At first it was funny, reminded us, for some odd reason (esp. since none of us are old enough to have actually done the dance), of the hustle. But after a while it gets very irritating.
Another favorite of mine is “they will be stepping on my neck”. Now it took me a while to get that what is being said is “they are going to strangle me”.
I think this is a perfect example of why so many American customers that find themselves speaking to a rep that does not speak American (let’s be honest, we don’t really speak true “English” as proven when we try to talk to someone from England), get so frustrated. Because those reps are really very nice to talk to, it’s the language barrier that seems to send everyone into a rant.
Ahh, I needed that laugh. I
Ahh, I needed that laugh. I knew I couldn’t be the only personal driven mad by this. “I need access, please do the needful at the earliest” You can do the needful all you want buddy, just keep it off my servers.
LOL, kinda
Adding my voice to the chorus of chuckles. Being a sysadmin, supporting lots of developers, I’ve been driven semi-mad by this phrase for years now. Stumbling across this page just confirms that EVERYTHING is already online. Loved the t-shirt site, too.
I always thought of this as a great song title, a la “Do The Hustle”. Any aspiring artists out there want to make a fortune by recording “Do The Needful!” ?
ACK
Have you ever been acknowledged for an e-mail with “ACK”
How about this one “please
How about this one “please clarify my doubts”… I see that all the time 🙂
Never seen it.
Nope, never seen it in my entire life until just now. Is that a Subcontinent-based phrase, or something else?
—
Matthew P. Barnson
‘The needful’ revisited
No offence intended, but even if one is a native speaker, it is advisable to check some *authoritative* sources before concluding that something is wrong and even risible!
The following is from Oxford English Dictionary. ————————————————————— needful, a.1 and n.
3. With the. a. That which is necessary or requisite. Chiefly in to do the needful. 1709 R. STEELE Tatler No. 78 {page}7 If you want any further Particulars..let me know, and per first will advise the needful. 1710 J. LOVETT Let. 1 Apr. in M. M. Verney Verney Lett. (1930) I. xii. 210 Waiting on proper persons and doing the needful in all places. c1771 S. FOOTE Maid of Bath II. 39 Lady Cath:..Prepare the minister and aw the rest of the taickle… Flint:..I may directly set about getting the needful. 1822 M. EDGEWORTH Let. 27 Jan. (1971) 338, I resolved to write..only 3 or 4 lines just to say the needful. 1831 SCOTT Jrnl. 24 Apr. (1946) 164 Young Clarkson had already done the needful{em}that is, had bled & blisterd severely, and placed me on a very restrictd [sic] diet. 1865 F. LOCKER-LAMPSON Select. from Wks. 155 This cloth will dip, And make a famous pair{em}get Snip To do the needful. 1929 I. COLVIN Life of Dyer xvii. 167 The conspirators at Delhi..sent orders..‘to look out and do the needful at once’. 1993 J. TORRINGTON Swing Hammer Swing! xiii. 118, I went over to the drinks cabinet to do the needful. ——————————————————————
Quoting a dictionary…
Three points:
1. Read the whole thread. You’re duplicating others work. 2. Quoting the dictionary is useful in those cases when you are attempting to ascertain the meaning of a word, or when a dispute can be quickly resolved by someone realizing their definition is entirely inappropriate. It is not useful when it is the meaning of the word itself which is in dispute. Canonization of a definition within a dictionary is helpful, but no more than an appeal to authority when it is used to attempt to settle an argument. 3. This essay and most of the my comments are tongue-in-cheek.
—
Matthew P. Barnson
>duplicating others
>duplicating others work
others’
Cheeky….
Cheeky drive-by.
—
Matthew P. Barnson
“The Needful”
This was absolutely hysterical, I have been requested to “do the needful” on many an occasion. I see it so much I have begun to use the term. Some other favorites:
Kindly revert back Thanking you
Put your stuff in my shoes
…my favorite saying, by someone who also uses the phrase “Do the Needful” at my company.
Check out this one…
http://www.DoTheNeedfulstuff.com/
You think “do the needful” is annoying…
…what about updation? For example: “I’ve attached the data fix script. Please do the needful updation.”
A bunch of us got a kick out of this entry. We’ve recently been joking about both do the needful and updation, so it really struck a chord with us.
Needfully bad use of needful!
HA! I just found this page after looking up WTF “I shall do the needful” meant. I got that message twice in two days and the first day thought it was a typo, and figured the second day that it was not a typo. In my google search, I did find that this phrase shows up in Chaucer…but that doesn’t mean it makes any sense or that it’s a good thing. Thank you for this awesome essay!
Not Only
We must prepone reading this article, review it thrice and then do the needful. 😀
I just searched Google for
I just searched Google for this phrase to see if I was the only person who was completely annoyed by it. Glad to see that I am not crazy. It is such an obnoxious way to request something from someone. As if the “needfull” exists out there some where, and I am letting it hang out to dry.
Thanks.
The Needful Revisited
Your post on “the needful” had me in stitches. As much as I like to abuse the English language verbally or in writing, at least I KNOW proper grammar, vocabulary, and how to construct/deconstruct a sentence. Every time I see “the needful” I cringe. I don’t know whether to laugh or not. It’s useless to try and correct the person who said it. They honestly don’t realize that they’ve butchered the language. It means something to them; sure I can figure out what they mean, but it annoys me. Not so much that it’s wrong or that they don’t realize it’s wrong, but more because if corrected, they just don’t care.
It’s like Guinness w/o Head, Pizza w/o Cheese, A Movie w/o Popcorn, or even Bangkok w/o STD infested hookers and transvestites. I mean…really…..who wants that!
The needful
It makes me want to kill every time I see it. You’re not the only one. Hooray for outsourcing!
Please do the needful
So, yeah, I was frustrated after getting yet another ‘Please do the needful’ email. I searched for the phrase and came upon your blog.
Just wanted to let you know you are not alone.
Isn’t it funny how this phrase almost always follows a mistake made by the same person?
Please do the needful to kill this phrase NOW!
By the way, I’m in HR/Benefits administration, not a technical role. It is, however, only said by non-native speakers.
The Needful
I know what you mean about this phrase, “Do the needful”. It bugs me too. It was so funny to me that I wrote a rap about it with music and a beat. Let me know if you want to hear it by e-mailing me at brian.brink@target.com. I can send you an .mp3 file of the song. I think you will appreciate it……although it might make your blood boil even more. -Brian 🙂
Here’s a nice collection of hinglish phrases
http://www.vdash9.com
Taken from actual tech support emails.
you need to refresh the
you need to refresh the vdash9.com site to get the next phrase.
People use this phrase in
People use this phrase in every English speaking country outside of the US. Get over it.
I must…
Well, then, I should do the needful quickly! Maybe I ought to look into same asap.
(You’d think the lines about “The” and “Needful” chucking “Thing” to the curb and doing a few drive-by shootings would tip people off to the humorous intent of this op-ed. Life’s too short to be too serious.)
—
Matthew P. Barnson
maybe
But since we have all the bombs you can kiss it.
Hahaha if only i had a quid
Hahaha if only i had a quid every time i was asked to do the needfull
Agree!
I work in the UK for a very large US corporation and our central helpdesk is located in Bangalore. It’s always amused (yet frustrated) me to read and hear this phrase from my Indian colleagues!
I freaking hate “the needful”!!!
Man that gets on my nerves! We have (not surprisingly) a bunch of developers outsourced to India, and I get emails with that phrase. My IT Director here in Georgia started to pick it up and I had to jerk a knot in his tail. The last time I’ve had to come down on biz jargon with that kind of righteous furey was when we had an uncontrolled breakout of “mindshare”.
Doh.
Apparently I felt the need to re-invent the spelling of “fury” as well. I apologize. 🙂
OMG…..
Do you mean to tell me that there are people that have never heard this phrase? And that we have to explain this to people?
Suddenly the joke became that much funnier.
Here I am..
I just wanted to answer to this thread from rather unusual perspective, I mean from an Indian’s point of view. Well please be aware that my post below is in pidgin english; English happens to be my fourth language (lucky me, for some other indians it would be nth , hehe).
I have observed native english speakers and I do realize indian english very much deviates from what it is supposed to be. One of the biggest problem you will encounter while conversing with an Indian is lack of gratitude; ex: they rarely say ‘thanks’ in exchange of a favor (as compared to native englisher). Actually as far as I know none of the Indian languages (whooping 1600+ languages) has any spoken word to express gratitude or thanks (The concerned words are supposed to be used in literature only and are considered offensive if used while conversing). Instead respect and gratitude in indian languages are expressed by changing the last syllable in the verb(verbs in Indian languages play an important role in sentence formation. It even denotes the gender of the subject). And the word ‘thanks’ is assumed by default. So for us it is rather confusing while using English and we endup using the word ‘please’ unusually and sometimes inappropriately. So does the phrase ‘please do the needful’. Normally Indians use this to shoot-at-the-air or neutralise an offensive or pointing-at-others-mistake kinda mails. I used this several times while corresponding with my Manager to point at his crazy mistakes 🙂 This word comes handy when you want to tell someone to do something which you are actually hesitating to express.
Whoa
Ha!! Finally someone else who has come across this, too.
The Needful
Ahhh, how I laughed when I read this. I have been trying to educate my newly acquired Indian colleagues as to the use of the english language but they choose to ignore me.
My other favourite is ‘Please revert’ (meaning ‘please get back to me’). it humours me most when it follows sentences asking you to do work…so your average person is sitting there thinking “am i supposed to be rolling this back after doing it?”
Someone take the thesaurus away !
It is a proper phrase
“Do the needful” is actually a correct phrase for “do what is necessary”. It is annoying in today’s vernacular, but there it is actually in the New Oxford English Dictionary:
“‘To do the needful, to do what is necessary in specified case.'”
You really can’t fault non-english speakers for learning proper english, even if it differs from common usage patterns of native speakers. English is rife with phrases and words that defy established rules.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Do_the_needful
I thought I was the only one
I thought I was the only one going nuts trying to figure out WHY this phrase exists. What makes them say it that way? I suppose there is a literal translation that occurs somewhere between “could you please” and “?”…You had described this ‘disturbing’ thing so articulately. Thank you.
Thanks 🙂
Thanks Matthew
That was a top read and I just thought I’d let you know that this phrase is still annoying the crap out of people, and Google is still turning this blog up for those looking for answers
Cheers
We are all getting Bangalored!
Here are some more good ones. http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2089-1313096,00.html
I’ve heard most of these during my last outsourcing.
I particularly like “today morning” in reference to “this morning”
A good one to use with the missus
Last night I was reading the Matrimonials (like the Personal Ads, only for arranged marriages) here in Delhi. Here’s a typical entry:
Handsome 5’8″ Sikh at Fortune 500 Co. seeks homely wife, …
Yes, homely = stay-at-home aspirations, as opposed to career aspirations. I had some fun with this with my own wife.
But come on, who doesn’t like sentences like this: “If your wife is homely, kindly tell us her good name for the updation of our contact records.”
If you really want to shock your Indian friends, use either of the following words: lakh or crore (pronounced lack and croar). Lakh = 100,000 and Crore = 10,000,000. They are heavily used Hindi loan-words. So, next email, throw in a little, “Our system handled 5 lakhs messages yesterday–please do the needful,” or something like that.
Please do the needful
Hi Guys:
I understand you guys have enough time to dicuss the wrong usages of English words by non-native speakers.
Nobody is the owner of any language, change is a common process in a language.
BTW, centuries back Brits were the only native speakers. So in the future there can be “Indian English” as that of “American English” now. I don’t find anything wrong in that.
I understand you guys have
You’re new here, aren’t you? Welcome to my board. Coffee table chit-chat is the order of the day today… and pretty much every day. Imagine you’re at home hanging out with some good friends and drinking some of your favorite (insert drink here).
Guess what? Pretty much EVERYBODY has time to hang out with their friends. If they don’t, they are not the kind of person I’d be interested in being a friend with because they never have time to be a friend at all.
Yes, but I’m sure you’d agree that some changes suck and you prefer not to use them. For instance, it’s common in American English to use foul language. I prefer to abstain, because I think that unless you have a specific point in mind by using an expletive, you diminish the power of that expletive. And crass references to bodily functions are kind of gross. “Please do the needful”, while not crass or gross, fits comfortably in the “OMGWTFBBQ” category of strange phrases.
Ahh, but here’s the rub: Dialects are going away. Television and the Internet are uniters of language and purpose. Can I not, then, make a case that the bizarre phrase “please do the needful” be replaced with something which adheres to the rules of grammar?
Alas, the popularity of this phrase is being expanded as a result of my blog entry, T-Shirts with the slogan on the front, and the invasion of Indian culture into the American mainstream.
Perhaps I can do the needful and be regarding this things to be an upgradation?*
—
Matthew P. Barnson
* Weird grammar intentional there, folks, get it or get lost 🙂
Weird grammar intentional there..
Hi Mat:
Thanks for your reply.
“Can I not, then, make a case that the bizarre phrase “please do the needful” be replaced with something which adheres to the rules of grammar? * Weird grammar intentional there…”
I appreciate this. I am well in line with you on that. But the whole reply chain went on blaming the non-native speakers for the “error” rather they correcting them.
I AM A NON-NATIVE ENGLISH SPEAKER. Actually, I was surfing the net to find an alternate for “Please do the needful.” I was happy when got some phrases in your article, but the replies suck.
Oh Great.. now I have Guilt!
I hereby take back everything I said up till now on this particular subject. Consider all of it null and void. This is my updation.
Seriously.. the deal here is that you have some pissy Americans who went to their American store to buy an American product and needed help (looking at you, Linksys) – and got someone with a thick indian accent who was unable to follow the problem as it was described.
Ex: ME: I have the CD with the program on it, but my activation code got thrown away, and its just installation for my $300 piece of hardware. I had no idea I would need it again. I did register the product.
THE VOICE: I can send you new CD.
ME: I have the CD, I need a my old code, or a new one.
THE VOICE: You may return the item if it is in the 30 day return period.
ME: Its a year old. I never thought I’d need the code again. Can you give me a new code?
THE VOICE: Is your item not working?
ME: Correct.
THE VOICE: Install from your CD and input the code on the CD sleeve.
ME: I don’t have the CD sleeve, sir.
THE VOICE: I can send you a new CD.
ME: I have the CD, sir. I need the code. I’ve reinstalled windows and I need the code.
THE VOICE: Since you have the CD, please insert the CD.
ME: Ok.
THE VOICE: Follow prompts.
ME: Ok. Its asking for the code.
THE VOICE: The code is on the CD sleeve.
Not kidding. I called twice more, got the samse thing until I finally got someone with a British accent (likely also Indian, but with a command of the language, a la Alexander Siddig) who immediately understood and sent me the activation code within 48 hours.
I LOVE non-native english speakers. BUT, there is some animosity for some when people have to deal on the phone or via email with people who do not effectively communicate – and I understand that some of those people ore pHD. I knew a cuban MD who had a hard time becoming an RN here because he could not effectively speak to English speaking patients, and it was a shame because he was brilliant – BUT – just like diagnosing technical problems, you have to be able to really understand the complaint, and effectively communicate the treatment.
Thus, some of the venom on this post (most of which, on both sides, is from anonymous or brand new posters. For the rest of us, this is just a silly little funny post.. and I enjoy it.)
Visit the Official Justin Timpane Website Music, Acting, and More! http://www.timpane.com
Threads…
Justin has the measure of this. If you look at who posted what, you’ll see that the posts which are negative were submitted by anonymous commenters who only stopped here to say their bit and then moved on. The original article (mine) was intended to be humorous. I’d just finished a full night of resolving computer concerns for a quality-assurance team in India, and had seen the phrase “Please do the needful” no less than ten times over the course of the shift. I wanted to vent and play with some humor along the way.
Here are some common American English phrases which are analogs to “please do the needful”, but do not violate grammatical rules or propriety. Note the use of “thank you” or “thanks” in these examples assume that the person will proceed with all due haste, and offers them a compliment in advance that you have faith in their abilities.
And now for some examples of what I hear when someone says “please do the needful” to me now…
(Umm, and for non-native humors, the last four are supposed to be funny… though what is funny inside my head, and what is actually funny to other people, are often two very different things…)
—
Matthew P. Barnson
Hi Justin: “…there is
Hi Justin:
“…there is some animosity for some when people have to deal on the phone or via email with people who do not effectively communicate..” I understand this. 🙂
“Effective communication” is a must, irrespective of languages. I am handling “Communication Skills” Sessions for Techies. I find only 20% Techies are good in communication.
Even if you consider native English speakers, how may of them can put their thoughts into words (either writing or speaking)?? It is a skill and not everybody can get it.
“For the rest of us, this is just a silly little funny post.. and I enjoy it.”
If I were not an INDIAN, I would have enjoyed it like you.
Hi Matt:
Thank you very much for the phrases.
“And now for some examples of what I hear when someone says “please do the needful” to me now…
Hop to it, fatty! Your incompetence knows no bounds. I’m keeping my eye on you. An idiot says what?”
I enjoy it!!
If the phrase annoys Americans, I personally will not use that phrase to Americans.
Bhuvana Mano
What didn’t you enjoy?
Now why didn’t you enjoy the original post? I mean, the thing which starts at the very top of the page, the humorous article about “please do the needful”, not the assorted 80+ inane comments from the peanut gallery. I’m interested to know if there is something about that humor piece which is specifically offensive to Indians.
—
Matthew P. Barnson
Not at all offensive to Indians
Article as such is – Not at all offensive to Indians. I meant, as a user of that phrase I couldn’t enjoy it as a humor piece.
Otherwise I enjoy your posts. This is one of my fav blogs now. 🙂
In needing of help, plz 😉
Kindly find my comments below, if you feel in need of updation, plz revert back with the same. is of utmost importance to have it completed EOD, please do the needful 🙂
I’m no native speaker either (my native language is spanish) so probably I had my own style problems, but I’ve been working the last 4 years with a big indian outsourcing firm, and lately, I’ve started to worry about being exposed too much to that kind of idiomatic style till the point I’m starting to use it when I don’t want. Because I don’t know why, but I feel it annoying at least (probably because it reminds me of my boss…hehe)
I am to understand!
I am to understand you on this matter we are agreeing completely 100%! I am worrying sometimes that possible other native speakers might be being uncomfortable with idioms of my use. But I am thinking it is not so much to worry about, because we are being understood in our updation.
Viva la Indinglish! 🙂 Too bad Engrish and Spanglish aren’t college courses you can take, either…
—
Matthew P. Barnson
Please, do the needful
Haha, I hear that all the time here! I found your page cause I was googling to see if anyone had made a t-shirt of it yet….
Do the needful
Oh, how it irritates me when I see one of these messages! My company has a branch in India and every time I receive a message with the subject “Do the needful” I cringe because I know that I have some urgent request coming from an overseas team member. This is usually a problem that could easily be resolved if the sender had the patience to investigate their problem; such as how to cut and paste, send an attachment, open an attachment, etc. The phrasing “do the needful”, although fragmented, seems so gentle and pleasant, however these particular team members are some of the most aggressive if they do not get the “needful” immediately. I have come to learn, at least within my company, that only those who feel that they are in a place of high standing, or feel they need to give that impression, use this request. What they really mean is “Drop what you are doing to attend to my needs.” I am not implying that all of our friends in India are in any way challenged. I work and socialize with many wonderful, creative, fun and intelligent people from India who I have thoughtful, friendly and technical exchanges with…
By the way, have you ever heard the one “I will revert to you presently”? This translates to “I will get back in touch with you soon.”
Couldn’t be more true!
This couldn’t be more true. It comes almost exclusively from managers or those who see me as below their station, now that I think about it, and almost never from those who would consider themselves my equals.
—
Matthew P. Barnson
do the needful
Try replying to a message with the same request of “Do the needful.” It will make the sender guess whether they should have sent the message to begin with. 😉
do the needful…uuuhg… i was just a big venting jerk…sorry
I immediately feel bad that I may have given the wrong impression of my Indian friends. It was a tough day today.
Those that I spoke of in the above message are just kind of jerky, arrogant human beings who have something to prove. It is really just a grammatical phenomenon that irritated me more than usual today. Arrogant people grow everywhere. If the truth be told; the US grows ’em like weeds…
BTW…teach peace…
Better!
We grow Weeds here too.
Still, the original observation was valid: if you look at who uses the term the most, it is more often used in a superior-to-subordinate relationship than peer-to-peer or subordinate-to-superior. I should look through the history of service requests I’ve performed at my business and do some kind of study… but that would take far too much time and be far too boring to keep my interest 🙂
—
Matthew P. Barnson
Yes We Do
And they keep growing and growing and growing!!! 😉
My $.02 Weed
Growing..
Growing like.. umm..
Where’s a good simile when you need one.
Visit the Official Justin Timpane Website Music, Acting, and More! http://www.timpane.com
Wow…
I work in an immigration law firm that deals mainly with computer and technology related workers and all I can say is I get no fewer than three emails a day asking me to do the needful. I feel like emailing them back and telling them I just ate a big lunch and have take a quick break to go do the needful.
Locking the thread
Although I absolutely adore the long list of comments generated by this post… this comment is the ninety-ninth, which seems an appropriate place to stop.
Maybe I should make a “The Needful, Chapter Two” or something.
—
Matthew P. Barnson
Right on…..
Awesome article. We have this conversation at my work all the time…
“It seems the mercfcc eventserver is not stopped and started once the promotion is done. Please do the needful. Otherwise the new code changes will not be reflected.”
“I am very sorry, it looks like my instructions for this map are incorrect. msl also need to be deployed for BizMercPair map. Please can you do the needful. We will update the deployment document later.”
“I get the following error: Infosys_ds_CalculateCreditableCoverage_sp.sql, Could not access the file, “\\VM_Projects\CSRP Interface PDB\archives\Daily Sync\Stored Procedures\Infosys_ds_CalculateCreditableCoverage_sp.sql-arc”, because you do not have the appropriate privileges. Please do the needful!”
“This an urgent promotion to handle S2,IM449603. (Atatched) Windows promo can be done immediately after SQL promo. Please do the needful.”
Gotten used to it.
Yep. It hasn’t subsided… I’ve just gotten used to it!
I rather like it…
Esp. when it comes from somebody who clearly sees him- or herself as in a position superior to mine– particularly because it’s so vague. It gives me the freedom select the particulars of the necessary corrective action…
“Oh, well, you told me the file system was at 98% and requested that I do the needful. Therefore, I deleted your files. Now the file system is back down to 70% utilization. Thank you for bringing this issue to my attention. If I can be of further assistance, please revert back.”
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