If I was convincted of taking part in a criminal conspiracy that defrauded millions I probably wouldn’t mind receiving house arrest as a punishment.
Lately, it seems that the lot of white-collar criminals are receiving house arrest as a form of punishment. This is a punishment in which a criminal is told that they must stay inside their house for months at a time and eat junk food and talk on the phone with their friends and sleep until noon and watch lots of movies on their enormous home entertainment system which is likely to be the envy of the modern world seeing that these criminals are millionaires who can also afford to shop online and have fancy decor delivered to their house whenever they feel like it. In fact, I’m thinking about starting an online shopping hub that specifically caters to rich criminals on house arrest.
I admit that I don’t know everything about the criminal justice system, but it seems that house arrest doesn’t exactly fit into the notion of rehabilitation. It would be hard to keep a straight face when a judge ordered me, after screwing over millions of people, to hang out inside my 15,000 square foot house for six months. This is because going to a real jail is probably worse. I’ve never been inside a real jail but I’ve seen The Shawshank Redemption several thousand times. Real jail doesn’t look pretty.
I’ve been lucky enough to catch glimpses of Marth a Stewart’s house. Martha’s house arrest sentence has been televised. She’s baking cookies. She’s making lemonade for reporters. I didn’t see any lemonade and cookies at the Shawshank prison. Maybe my sense of fair and balanced justice is warped by the television and movies?
As long as you’re not confessing….
I prefer house arrest for criminals as well, depending on their crime. This actually saves thousands of tax dollars not having them in jail. Our jails are full, at least in our area, as well as our state prison. On house arrest, they’ve got to pay for their own food, their own house, their own utilities, their own phone bill, etc.
I’d hate for you to be on house arrest. I don’t imagine we’d all be able to fit at your pad for the wedding. Keep an eye out for good air fare for us. Right now it’s at about $283 per person from SLC.
As for Martha Stewart, I think she’s lost a lot of her popularity. And of course the judge gave her house arrest. She didn’t physically harm anyone. Besides that, how do we know she didn’t seriously bribe the judge, or even a good bribe to her lawyer who can convince the judge? In the meantime, this greedy lady who is trying to be as rich as Oprah is at home making more money. That’s the life, huh?–
Christy
Popularity..
Umm. Martha Stewart now has 2 TV series in the works, including a new version of “The Apprentice”.
I want house arrest.. then I can have my own show.
Hey Sam
Do you think I could be CIO of your corporation? Then I’ll need to skim $.001 of every transaction into my off-shore account. Soon afterwards, I’ll leak it out that I’m doing it (after properly securing the money), thereby creating a big public ruckus, however I’ll have destroyed any traces of evidence (being CIO and all, I should know how to do that 😉 so you’ll have to settle with punishing me by terminating me with a nice, seven-figure settlement amount.
Then I’ll be out of a job with seven to eight figures in the bank. But, I’ll be black-listed with no hope of working again except at the golf course in Nassau.
Bummer. Care to play a round with me?
Does that fit into your financial plan? I think I can fit it into my schedule.
Please???
My $.02 (times 800 million transactions) Weed
Sam Spam
Sam: Unfortunately, you ran afoul of my “po ker” spam filter. Somewhere in your message, you must have mentioned that forbidden word, or one of several other related phrases.
I apologize. It’s the only way I can keep up with more than 1000 spam comments per day until I hack a captcha onto comments.
—
Matthew P. Barnson
Martha
To play devil’s advocate, what Martha Stewart did really was not a big deal in the grand scheme of things. Her insider trading was a shady deal that made her $45,000. Now, that’s a lot of money to you and me, but for someone like her, or, say, Bernie Ebbers or Ken Lay, it’s pocket change. So really, Martha Stewart just made a poor choice, and remember, she did in fact serve time in a real jail – 5 months or so – before her house arrest.
I am, however, pleased that Bernie Ebbers got 25 years in (to quote “Office Space”) a “federal pound-me-in-the-@$$ prison”.
— Ben
To Play Ben-Devil’s Advocate
What Martha Stewart did was a big deal in the scheme of things, because the scheme of things absorbed many hours of NY District Attorney office time and resources. That time was spent by them pursuing what they considered an important conviction. They felt it would send a message that even the smallest lies to the government will result in punishment. So, I think it is a big deal, and getting house arrest is a nice way to land on the hard end of the law.
Charlize Theron Was Hot in Devil’s Advocate
I think if there were a real threat of going to the “pokey” and having to spend your free time in the prison yard with G-Thug and Harley Manson, white-collar crime might take a dip.
What’s the punishment? Martha Stewart went to a country-club prison. She didn’t do “hard time”. Yes, $45,000 may not be much to Martha, but it’s probably $100 from you and $100 from me and so on and so forth, and that $100 means a lot to me.
Whatever happened to the chain gang? Why can’t they merge Habitat for Humanity with prison labor? We could redo some neighborhoods, build some playgrounds, and all for cheap labor?
If you have money, you have options. If you’re poor, you have none.
My $.02 Weed