Boy oh boy did I love Wayward Sun. Despite the fact that they were just essentially a teen garage band, they were my favorite band in High School, the way some people loved Nirvana or Billy Joel. But now certain members of the band have kind of said “no thanks, we’ve done that”. I didn’t get it. You have a chance now to take what you were good at in High School, iron out the kinks, and make it better. Why not do that?
I get it now. In 1993, I played onstage, in my senior year, the role of John Proctor in Quince Orchard’s production of “The Crucible”. It got me a lot of credibility, I did a great job, and it galvanized my desire to act. Despite this, it was a high school play, I didn’t know crap about life, and it was ultimately a flawed performance.
Last weekend, I auditioned for Reston Players’ production of “The Crucible”. I wanted to play hale, but my Proctor was good enough in an audition to get me called back repeatedly once again for the lead. I was ecstatic, and for much of the audition, it seemed clear that the role was mine. As we neared the end though, we got to the meatier scenes, and I was doing passionate, precise redings.. that were a little out of context of what was going on. Thinking back, I was doing the same line readings I had done at the age of 17, and looking for the same responses. I never got them.
I did not get Proctor. I barely read for Hale. This production of the Crucible will roll along without me, and perhaps its just as well. I’ll be doing another play or film soon.. something that is new to me. As an artist, I have committed to doing new work. Taking something someone else made and making it my own. I already did my Proctor.. and doing it again would be doing an imitation of myself.. a remake.
So for me, the dream of playing Proctor again sometime is dead.. you can’t go back again. Maybe you shouldn’t. Maybe for me Hale should always belong to Mike Lanahan, Proctor should always be a teenager trying his best to impress his friends and detractors.. Maybe the best version of “All Over again” will always be the one on “The Right Of Way” – and maybe that has less to do with intrinsic quality, and more to do with what it meant way back when.
Then again…
John Proctor may be dead, but Reverend Hale is apparently very much alive.
As it turns out, the person they were going to have playing Hale is not going to be playing the role, and they have offerred it to me, and I have accepted. Had they offerred Proctor, I would have said no.
My approach to this will change, of course.. I will enter the scenes from a new perspective, and see what the other actors give me, creating a performance I hope is very different from what I’ve seen in the past (which was, on its own, a good performance from someone as young as he was).
Fortune is fickle, and this is bittersweet, but I am ready to go knowing full well that I should reject all voices from 1993, and focus on making this new, making it my own.. and I think I will be able to give a performance to be proud of.
Then again…
Then again, I still think we should have a Wayward Sun reunion for Marilyn Graber’s birthday one year. We’ll have all of us there for the wedding this week, I think, but who knows?
My two cents 🙂
—
Matthew P. Barnson
I think
the rehearsal dinner will be a very interesting evening…
My $.02 Weed
Will be fun to meet you
It’ll be fun to meet you, Weed. I still think of you as an exceptionally short black man with big biceps (from an obviously false description you posted here some time ago). Go figure.
—
Matthew P. Barnson
Gary Coleman on Steriods?
Emmanuel Lewis bulked up?
That’s okay, I have an image of you being an hodgepodge of my brother (who’s also a *NIX sysadmin) and Angelo, who Sam can tell was a guy at college who always liked to sit and ponder the types of things we dicuss here on barnson.org.
Unfortunately, in my mind you look more like my brother than Angelo, whom my female friends though was “hot”. Sorry…
The important question is how do we get Sammy in the grocery cart on the steps of the church passed out?
My $.02 Weed
If I’m At A Church
If I happen to end up at a church, then we’re really in trouble…
🙂
Sadly
Sadly, I won’t be there this weekend. On my student’s budget, there was no way to afford a trip to Minnesota. I’m sorry I won’t get to see you guys, and I’m really sorry that I won’t get the chance to see the great Sammy G finally hitched to the big ol’ marriage chain.
But if everyone comes out back East at one point, I wouldn’t say no to a jam session just for fun. I, for one, would be amused as hell to have a couple beers and then have a go at “On My Way” for the first time in, oh, 13 years.
— Ben
Beers…
Dude, I’m there. And I’ll supply the beers.
And I’ll drink the beers.
and gradually, the music will sound better and better.
Note to Sammy… congrats, and I can’t wait for you and your bride to come back into town and kel and I will take you out for food.
Me Too
I can’t afford this trip either but I’m making it anyway. My kids are young enough they won’t be too harmed by no Christmas presents this year…
I plan on recouping my money by telling Sam’s children about their father’s college pranks one day. I imagine Matt can recoup his by filling in the high-school ones.
J/K’s
My $.02 Weed
Congratulations!!!!!!
–Congrats to you Sam and your bride. I hope every year is a happy year. Also Congrats to you Timpane on both your growth and your part. Teresa the Flautist and fire dancer