No dumping

I was enjoying a little pillow talk with Christy tonight, and a thought struck me.

“You know what’s cool? I mean, we’re married. We’ve been married for coming up on nine years. I’m your permanent boyfriend. It’s like you’re driving along this lonely highway, and then suddenly you realize you’re not alone, because you see this sign on the side of the road that says ‘No Dumping’, and you’re like ‘Hey, that’s what marriage is, no dumping!'”

Thanks for letting me share.

I was enjoying a little pillow talk with Christy tonight, and a thought struck me.

“You know what’s cool? I mean, we’re married. We’ve been married for coming up on nine years. I’m your permanent boyfriend. It’s like you’re driving along this lonely highway, and then suddenly you realize you’re not alone, because you see this sign on the side of the road that says ‘No Dumping’, and you’re like ‘Hey, that’s what marriage is, no dumping!'”

Thanks for letting me share.

2 thoughts on “No dumping”

  2. The problem…

    The problem, as I see it, with marriages today is that people approach them with far too high of expectations as far as what they expect of their partner, and far too low expectations of themselves as to what they are willing to do to preserve their marriage.

    I admit, luck probably plays a part.

    If that’s the case, though, maybe I’m just lucky. People go into marriage with the idea that, if it doesn’t work out, they can just get a divorce and go on with their lives. But the human mind doesn’t seem to work that way very well. We thrive on stability and relationships, communication and compassion. Short of murder, divorce is the ultimate way to tell someone you don’t care about them (or, that you dislike them so much you’re willing to put them through hell), and that’s a soul-crushing experience no matter how you look at it. We all want to be liked, loved, and communicated with.

    I look at the evolution of mankind as having two stages: pre-language and post-language. Once we evolved to use language, ever since that day some 5,000-10,000 years ago we’ve been obsessed with communicating with one another. Yet so often we make unwise choices as to what we communicate.

    From where I sit, “no dumping” is where it’s at. You get married, you’ve just agreed not to dump one another for the rest of your lives. It’s not an extended-stay contract between a girlfriend and boyfriend.

    Maybe in the U.S. we should begin to recognize two types of legal marriage-like relationships: short-term contracts and life-term contracts. I mean, we already have a distinction between “common law” and traditional marriages — common-law is simply where the fact that two people are living as a married couple is acknowledged. Maybe contracts of a certain term would be a logical step to stave off some of the inherent nastiness of divorce?

    Then again, maybe that smacks of just having a divorce at a pre-arranged time, and refusing to renew a contract would have the same emotional and child-rearing complications. I dunno. I’m probably talking wild.

    But I have this idea that there should be an in-between legal state recognizing semi-permanent relationships. Because what we have right now is just broken promises and disappointments for a lot of people.

    Not for me, though. I refuse to even consider divorce no matter how I feel on any given day. It’s simply an answer at once too selfish and too hurtful for me to think about. The funny thing is, love isn’t the motivating factor there; it’s duty, commitment, and living with honor having followed through on my agreements. Yes, I love my wife and children very, very much. But in my perspective, that love grows out of our common respect and care for one another. Enduring love comes second, after intentionally making sacrifices to improve the lives of another person.

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