Around this time of year I often find myself thinking about the musical “The Sound of Music”. Besides the fact that Julie Andrews was both incredibly hot and could sing like an angel (thus inspiring my childhood crush on her), several of the songs are compelling and stick around in my brain after hearing them.
Heh, and it seems like they always played “The Sound Of Music” on local TV stations around November/December. I’m really not sure why, but maybe they wanted to balance the usual violent fare with a token “family” movie around the Holidays or something.
Anyway, the one that is stuck in my head today? “My Favorite Things”. I’m sure you know the tune; if I’m wrong, go watch The Sound of Music right away!. My brain, in my sleep, began re-arranging lyrics into a song called “Least Favorite Things”. Here’s a sample stanza or two:
Children with puke-breath and loaded, plugged toilets, Having to work when I’d rather avoid it, Gastrointestinal distress and “bling!”, These are some of my least-favorite things.
Cheap plastic parts breaking in an appliance, Creationists pretending that it’s science, Naught in my inbox but advertising, These are some of my least-favorite things.
When my job bites, When my locks freeze, When I have to curse, I then remember some least-favorite things, And think that it could be worse.
Come on, guys, pitch in a verse! I know you can…
Baltimore Ravens’ offensive
Baltimore Ravens’ offensive troubles Heating my house now costs me double Poor T.O., he can’t make a living? These are some grating frustrating things
Global warming and fear-monger science War for oil spun for national defense Too many Survivors, don’t let the Idol sing Reality TV has my stomach purging
It not fault I broke the law It’s the government’s fault my character flaw Find us a lawyer and let’s get suing Litigation will be America’s undoing
Weed’s out
Who’s TO?
Who’s TO?
—
Matthew P. Barnson
I sense the return
I sense the return of the DSFT soon.
Matt, T.O. stands for Terrell Owens, the suspended wide receiver for the Philadelphia Eagles.
That ill-conceived duo of
That ill-conceived duo of Dubya and Cheney (Who kinda remind you of Pinky and Brainy), Novak, whose eybrows are feathered like wings… These are a few of my least fav’rite things.
So-called “good Christians” who hate homosexuals, But still reassure you “we’re quite intellectual,” Who replace “love thy neighbor” with “you’re all burning…” Read the whole damn Book and ne’er learned a thing!
But the ones who, Are the kudzu Of Society…
I chalk anyone up as a least-favorite thing, If they disagree…. with… me!
–For the record, I once played Captain Von Trapp as a sophmore in highschool. It was the start of my acting career… ah the memories… mmm… kissing the senior who played Maria…
high school stage kisses…
very weird things indeed.
Tim & Lisa
That was actually how Tim and Lisa initially hooked up, if I recall correctly. We were doing the play “David and Lisa” (I played the high-strung, distracted father). At one point during the play, the two main characters go to a park, and there, they see a pair of young lovers kissing passionately on the bench.
Well, that couple was our own Tim, and his wife Lisa. I recall that we made jokes about what a difficult time Tim invariably had walking without a pronounced sort of limp or hobble after those scenes…
—
Matthew P. Barnson
Very Funny
Very, very funny. And now since it’s immortalized forever on the Internet, I’ll have all kinds of fun explaining this to my two girls when they are older. I can hear the giggles now. And to this day, I don’t think my father-in-law have ever had a ‘conversation’ about that scene. Probably for the best, right?
I was already dreading showing them ‘Pippin’ on videotape and having to explain that their dad pulled a brief stint as a Chippendale (a very bad, very uncomfortable, acting-against-his-own-will Chippendale, for the record). Now for the question of the day – anyone else recall the other ‘Chippendales’?
That remains at least the most prominent reason I can’t ever run for public office, at least if I were to try again; can you imagine the press conference after that video makes it to air?
Thanks for the memories, Matt.
And one more thing about stage kisses…
After Lisa and I had been gotten back together, I can recall having some uncomfortable moments of my own during ‘Anything Goes,’ when she and Paul had to kiss on the top of the riser during whichever song that was.
I also recall, as stage manager, I did ‘accidentally’ turn the lights down a smidge on that scene. Nothing like being in control of things, right?
Ahh, the good old days.
All throught the night..
I think. Hi to Lisa, BTW.
Best, Elisha J. whitney
Pippin
Interestingly enough, my relationship with my own wife first sparked when we were cast in our own high school production of Pippin (I, a junior, was Pippin; she, a senior, was Catherine). 15 years later, here we are.
For the record, I attended the QOHS productions of both Pippin and Anything Goes, which means I’ve seen the illustrious Tim perform. And who was Lisa?
— Ben
Lisa is the illustrious one, not me
I don’t recall if she had any speaking roles in Pippin – I recall her playing one of the dancers (there weren’t all that many female characters). In Anything Goes, she played Hope. And damn well, I might add, even if you couldn’t see it occasionally on account of her well-intentioned stage manager boyfriend.
As for Pippin, I would object that I was performing at all – no one is ever going to say I was setting any new standards in the art of theatre. It was probably as bad or worse for the audience to have to have watched that particular sequence as it was for me to have done it. Especially when the dancing moved from the stage to the ‘floor show’ part. Ugh. Thinking about it is giving me a headache. All those years working to block that image out – gone.
Aha!
Yes, I remember Lisa in Anything Goes. She was great, if I remember correctly. Of course, I think I spent the whole show drooling over Jen Wolff. “Matt, I have hot pants for you!”
— Ben
And the curse word..
Lets not forget my fave theatre story.. “Oh F#@*!”
Josh Saxon and Consolation
Wasn’t, like, Josh Saxon one of them? And that football-player guy? Really tall-like.
Sorry, my memories of “Pippin” are fuzzed out by Julie … erm… what was her last name? Cheerleader, put a pair of paw prints on the butt of her bottoms in her uniform. She played opposite me, as my wife in “Pippin”, and really got into her role as a vamp.
If it’s any consolation, here’s my embarassing moment. I had to get dressed up for pictures, and once again they insisted “no underwear lines for pictures”. So there I am, for the first time in my life, in the men’s changing room behind the theater, trying to get these tights pulled up.
It wasn’t working well. Just at the moment where I have them right around my kneecaps, in walks the entire female contingent of the Chamber Choir.
I had a hard time living that down. Yvonne, in particular, got the “Full Monty” (or, since it was at my kneecaps, maybe the three-quarters Monty?), and teased me about the size of my equipment forevermore. Alas. The curse of this white, Irish-descended boy: Big Head, Big Mouth, Small………..
—
Matthew P. Barnson
Irish..
Hey, Speak for yourself.. I guess my Jewish/German genes beat out the irish Genes, there.. heh heh heh..
Oh.. who am I kidding.
Chippendales
Man, I Loved that Rescue Rangers Show..
Does anyone remember the SNL Chippendales with Pat Swayze and Chris Farley?