Hat on: Check. Long-sleeve shirt: Check. Long pants: Check. Tight socks, good shoes: Check. Deet-based insect repellent over any exposed skin: Check. A few minutes near the lakeshore during mosquito season: Check.
I have to admit, she was the type to really give you a run for your money. She’s tiny, but she is crafty and has a full belly right now. Despite my safety precautions, despite my tightly-cinched clothing and repellent, she found a way in. She snuck down my pants, grabbed a bite, then snuck back out again unnoticed past at least half a foot of clothing and elastic.
So when you see me scratching my butt-crack vigorously this week, it is NOT because of Klingons. It’s because of one tough, patient little mosquito grabbing a snack through the tidy whities. Despite my admiration for her, I hope she choked. And that I tasted gross.
Oh, that sucks.
As is customary here, we struggle with ants. Although our bug people got rid of the majority of them.. every couple days we find 8 or 9 stragglers.
This morning, as I fed my child, I felt something sting my forehead, and brushed it away. It was a small black ant who had decided to try a mosquito diet of me. He didn’t last very long.
Alas, for the ant.. and for your butt crack. May they both find the peace they deserve.
Visit the Official Justin Timpane Website Music, Acting, and More! http://www.timpane.com
I Can Top That
So Weed Version 2, Revision 1, which has been released for 4.5 years now, was getting out of my sister’s hot tub on Mommy’s Day. Instead of making him walk wet into the house into the bathroom, I told him to strip right there and we’d dry him off and put his clothes back on. As he drops trou, he says:
“Daddy, I have a bug on my penis.”
So I look, and he does. A tick. A deer tick. On the tip of his member.
So not only did we have to pull the tick off of my son’s penis during Mother’s Day…
*We’ll pause now for the men to stop wincing. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. He didn’t scream. I’m so proud.*
but now we have to keep an eye on it to see if a rash develops and make sure he doesn’t get Lyme’s disease.
Oh, the joys of Fatherhood
My $.02 Weed
Ouch…
Yeah… that pretty much trumps it with the bug stories.
Let’s just hope, to avoid any potential trauma, that your annunciation was clear and your diction was precise when you said “Wow, look at that tiny little tick.”
You Got Back On?
Rowan, how did you get back on the blog? Doesn’t your account expire after a year of inactivity? 🙂
Let me call off the search party…