99.9%

So I’m doing laundry this weekend, and I’m washing to whites. I grab the Clorox bleach and put it in. While this may be the 100th or 1000th time I’ve done this, for some reason I notice the “kills 99.9% of known germs” on the label.

So I’m doing laundry this weekend, and I’m washing to whites. I grab the Clorox bleach and put it in. While this may be the 100th or 1000th time I’ve done this, for some reason I notice the “kills 99.9% of known germs” on the label.

I’m hoping this is a legalese because they don’t want to claim 100% and then find something impervious to bleach and get sued. I mean, there isn’t anything that can withstand a nice dosing of Clorox, is there? Is there a tenth of a percent of germs, viruses, bacteria, fungii, whatever that can take a bleach bath and laugh it off? I’m the most anti-OCS person you can meet, I utilize the 5-second rule very liberally, but I admit I’m scared of a micro-organism that can shake off Clorox and still target my immune system. I can see Plankton from SpongeBob gargling some bleach, swallowing it, then going all Popeye on my intestines. “EUGENE!!!”

My $.02 Weed

2 thoughts on “99.9%”

  1. Better is better than best

    I say advertising market-speak. Sort of like, if all products in a given market-space are basically equal, saying that yours is the “best” is meaningless. Since all are equal, all are the best, and that’s defensible in court. However, if you say your product is “better” than something else, or all the competitors, that’s a claim that may not be defensible unless you can prove you’re actually much better than others.

    Or how marketers use the term “virtually”. Virtually means “not really”, so if your dishwasher detergent “leaves dishes virtually spot-free” that actually means your dishwasher detergent is guaranteed to leave some spots. Irritating, but it’s the world we live in.

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    Matthew P. Barnson

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